CadeYeager Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) - So I worked at a HUGE music festival yesterday in one of the many bar tents they had set up. - I was a bar backer and all 6 of the cashiers in front of me were smoking hot. - I wanted to use this opportunity to just walk up and talk to some girls. I mean hey, it's not like I will ever see them again. There was one girl who I saw working to herself, and tried to strike up a conversation. I was nervous the entire time and played it safe by asking about school..... I know it's lame. I knew she wasn't into me so I walked away. - Later that night I started too feel attraction towards this other cashier. We had the eye contacts, smiles, everything. I walked over to her and started to talk. It started off GREAT!!! Got to the point where I was literally talking into her ear the music was so loud. I was seriously digging this girl. I can't tell you guys just how much I miss the "chase" feeling. - Then I instinctively went back to lame topics..... - I started to lose her a little bit, not enough that it ruined my chances. She had to help out with another bar tent, so I didn't see her again. - So what can I do to keep the wheels turning and the interest level up without asking about school and s.hit. I mean I was at a MUSIC FESTIVAL. Who wants to talk about school? Edited April 26, 2014 by CadeYeager
Frank2thepoint Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 - I wanted to use this opportunity to just walk up and talk to some girls. I mean hey, it's not like I will ever see them again. Perfect reason to be confident, make a good first impression. Even if you come off a little bit awkward, nervous, the more you talk to girls without caring you'll see them again, the easier it will become. It's like any skill or trade, you have to practice it. But luckily, practicing to talk to girls can be fun. - Later that night I started too feel attraction towards this other cashier. We had the eye contacts, smiles, everything. I walked over to her and started to talk. It started off GREAT!!! Got to the point where I was literally talking into her ear the music was so loud. I was seriously digging this girl. I can't tell you guys just how much I miss the "chase" feeling. - Then I instinctively went back to lame topics..... Yes the chase can be exciting, real confidence booster when the girl reciprocates. It's a great rush to have. So why did you go back to lame topics instead of pushing on toward intimate topics? Why didn't you just ask her if she wants to meet up sometime for drinks? Even if she would of said no or she has a boyfriend, you'll never see her again anyway.
Scales Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 You might want to check your environment here. Girls working at the tents and stuff might as well be the show girls at some electronics show. They know they are hot and they are there to sell things. Don't get wrapped up in trying to hit on them because they will be hard to crack. They are the waitress type who always have a boyfriend of some kind. I agree with you though school is not the cool thing to talk about. Neither is work, politics, or religion. School is what you vent about to your buddies. Try to aim the topic to where its related to social discussion. Girls love nothing more than to talk about relationships, behavior, and drama. Tell a story about your friends ex spilling syrup on the floor in the kitchen and unleashing a bad of crickets into his apartment before she left him. Is it true? no. The truth is either terrible or boring. Talk about things that are so interesting that your lifestyle seems appealing. Even if you don't her number, you will be memorable at least.
Author CadeYeager Posted April 26, 2014 Author Posted April 26, 2014 So why did you go back to lame topics instead of pushing on toward intimate topics? Why didn't you just ask her if she wants to meet up sometime for drinks? Even if she would of said no or she has a boyfriend, you'll never see her again anyway. - It's not like I meant to. I did ask here where she was staying in terms of camping at the festival or riding home. She was gonna head back to her home, I told her that we should hang out a bit after the festival and she said "Absolutely." - I jokingly said it would be our first date. She said "Well I dunno, I mean I did just meet you and your still a stranger to me." She didn't say it in a serious tone but more of a playful one. I KNOW and could sense that she wanted me to comeback with something witty. But... I couldn't think of anything on the spot. So that's where I started to crawl back into my corner of safe talk. -But I mean we kept talking about great things, but I didn't drive the conversation as well I did in the beginning. Speaking of confidence boosters, the set up was 6 female cashiers and 3 male bar backs. The other two guys were close friends so I didn't talk to them. Slow times was when I went to talk to this girl. The other two guys stood back and did nothing the whole time staring at me...
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 It depends on the woman. I would have rather discussed school then a lot of drivel. If she likes you she will be happy you are talking initially. Why didn't you use the situation to your advantage & ask about the music, how she came to be at the festival, has she ever seen the bands before, whether she likes any of the beers you were serving etc.?
Author CadeYeager Posted April 26, 2014 Author Posted April 26, 2014 It depends on the woman. I would have rather discussed school then a lot of drivel. If she likes you she will be happy you are talking initially. Why didn't you use the situation to your advantage & ask about the music, how she came to be at the festival, has she ever seen the bands before, whether she likes any of the beers you were serving etc.? Oh I did. I guess the problem I had was the momentum slowing down. When that happened, I went back to the boring topics.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 She was gonna head back to her home, I told her that we should hang out a bit after the festival and she said "Absolutely." This was good. You could of asked for her number just in case you guys lose each other at the festival. I jokingly said it would be our first date. She said "Well I dunno, I mean I did just meet you and your still a stranger to me." She didn't say it in a serious tone but more of a playful one. I KNOW and could sense that she wanted me to comeback with something witty. But... I couldn't think of anything on the spot. So that's where I started to crawl back into my corner of safe talk. You could of responded "well hopefully after hanging out I won't be a stranger", and flashed a smile. Or you could of said "well we could get to know each other and not be stranger", and flashed a smile. Regardless, you were doing pretty good. You actually talked to this girl, it was just closing a date with her that you didn't accomplish. It's no big deal. Just keep talking to girls and try to secure a date. 1
Author CadeYeager Posted April 26, 2014 Author Posted April 26, 2014 You could of responded "well hopefully after hanging out I won't be a stranger", and flashed a smile. Or you could of said "well we could get to know each other and not be stranger", and flashed a smile. Regardless, you were doing pretty good. You actually talked to this girl, it was just closing a date with her that you didn't accomplish. It's no big deal. Just keep talking to girls and try to secure a date. Hey thanks for the advice so far. I tell myself that I failed, but really, I feel like I succeeded in many ways. I did something that I usually don't EVER do. I just had to hold that eye contact just a little longer, smile, tease, etc. Turns out she was interested in me too. I never would've pick up her signals if I was more observant. Now onto the next. It feels good to just grow a pair and go for something. When I there initially, I was the only guy there with 6 hot girls standing around. I kept to myself and my phone. While I was doing that I thought to myself 'The more I try not being out of place, the more I actually do come off being out of place.' I've been out of the chasing game for so long, I've forgotten the thrill and exhilaration it brings. It's also a reminder that I have some game left.
preraph Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 Sit down and make a list of questions to ask a woman just to get her talking. Don't use all yes-or-no questions but ones she has to expound on. "What do you do when you're not doing this?" "How long have you lived in _____?" "What's your favorite band (or sports team)?" If she mentions anything at all on her own, follow up with questions about it. If she says, "Oh, my sister and I decided to apply for this job," say "Oh, is that your only sibling? Do you-all live together? Do you ever end up liking the same guy?"
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