Why is my ex being like this

[Amanda1111]

I split with my ex last week, as I had a operation and not seen him for 4 weeks, in them 4 weeks all we did was argue all day, via text about pointless stuff and he didn't see what was wrong and blamed everything on me . We agreed to meet up and he wanted another chance which I gave him but he blew me out the next day. And didn't want to c me for another week so to me that shows how much he wanted that chance So I ended it as it was clear he didn't want to be with me,

 

During the relationship he kept dropping me at the last minute to be his brothers taxi or take his dad somewhere I know there is no one else

 

 

After we split I said to him I hope it doesn't become awkward as we both work together he said there will things that will bug him which won't help and I said I won't ignore and if he chooses to then that's his issue.

 

Anyway today he came in all red walking fast and huffing then shouted at me . Snatched his key of me and stormed of I went there's no need to be nasty with me he then vanished hour or so later I get a text

 

Him: I wasn't being nasty I was trying to get out the way cos there was customers

 

Me: ok just felt like you did

Him: nope, you prob will think so soon

Me: Why

Him: don't worry ill do it another day

Me; if you wanna be nasty go ahead it only shows you up not me

Him: not really lol

 

I then couldn't be bothered to reply

 

Now I don't get why did he text to say he wasn't being nasty the say he will be.

 

I do still love him so it does hurt. Just don't want any more hassle at work

[Ophelia27]

He is playing games and has you playing along. Next time he is nasty to you just ignore his behaviour. People like him should be treated like little kids when they act up. Ignore the bad behaviour and when he is nice be nice back, but in a short and reserved manner. He is just trying to get a reaction out of you.

 

I mean, seriously... what does it even mean when he says that you will think he is being nasty soon enough again. Sounds like a real immature person.

 

My advice, dont respond to him. Dont text him, greet him at work and if he doesnt greet you back just go on with your business. Act like you dont even notice his behaviour. Best way to keep the work enviroment a semi-comfortable one.

[Poppyolive]

I had a similar situation, ex turning nasty, I responded to every remark, request, demand & threat....calmly. As like you I didn't want any games.... I called him on it many tines yet it continued for months. I ended up asking him not to contact me. He continued, in the end I had no choice but to block him everywhere.

 

My advice to you, is don't wait as long as I did. Block everything and stop responding. You are only feeding his anger, hurt whatever else he is going through. It's not your issue but he can't see that...he's putting all the blame on you. If you keep responding and open to frequent communication you are prolonging the pain. Also I'm the most laid back forgiving, peaceful person towards the end of the constant texts, messages whatever way he could reach me I became super anxious, stressed, more hurt it took a month or so after to fully relax and not feel bullied & intimidated. Please don't even try understand what he's doing...he is obviously not processing his own stuff.

[Amanda1111]

Thank you :-) he has got into my head and I've had a racing heart most the night and feel sick. I just don't want any hassle at work . He is 25 and I'm 30 but I feel so scared and worried at what he can do. When he has already been horrible but then reckons he wasn't. I was nearly in tears .

[KaliLove]

Can you change locations at your job or start looking for a new one?

 

If you can't change jobs, I would explain the situation to your manager and see if s/he can make it so you two don't work so closely together, or at least keep an eye on the situation so s/he can help if you need it.

 

Your ex seems like a nasty piece of work. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.