SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 My ex makes the choice every day to not be with me. That is the reality of my breakup (ended a year and a half ago). Why do I still care for someone who chooses every day to not be with me? I don't know what to do. I'm not interested in other people. I've grown to dislike dating. I don't know if I am capable of ever really liking someone again. I don't know if it is possible and it frightens me that I won't ever find that. I miss him and I hate that I miss him. There is no logic to how I feel. Its ended over a year ago but he was my first relationship. I can't imagine being into someone and building a solid relationship from it. People say it will come again but I am scared. How can anyone be so certain? It's hard. I liked someone and they are gone. He acted so into me the first few months. Was it all a lie? Was it all phony? If it wasn't a lie, how did it disappear? It set the precedent for my future relationships. Now I consider everyone a phony until they prove me wrong with some form of future commitment 6 mos later. I don't know if I can every trust to be with someone ever again. Right now I have a fwb/casual type relationship with a guy I met that months ago but he is not someone I could ever be more serious with. (Many legit reasons) He is just a companion that I am physically compatible with. Feelings seem mutual between us. Outside of that I have zero desire for other people. Online dating depresses me. I am not into most guys on those sites who seem like losers/low life job/uneducated, want to party and hookup. I don't need or want a website to hookup. What do I do? What does everyone else do? How do you cope? After getting dumped do you ever think of being able to find someone else that you like just as much or more? It feels like I can only like someone less than what I had before. He made the bar high. I also get sad because I lost a good friend. I can never be friends with him again unless we were in a relationship. I couldn't handle anything less of a relationship. 1
flightplan Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Some friendly advice... stop being so fixated on worrying about if you're going to ever love again or have a dream relationship. Live your life on your terms without feelings of dependence on a man. Be you. Grow, learn, regardless of any relationship. Your happiness does not depend on a significant other. Build a full and satisfying life... and let go. Relax. 4
smileforelena Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 i guess part of the reason you cant see anybody else being in your future is because you convinced yourself that he is the only one that will do. you seem to have to put way up there in terms of measuring up to how related to the opposite sex. the thing is our exes are really not who we have made them to be in our minds. for some reason after someone dumps us the tendency is to make ourselves believe that that person was the one but im sure while we were in that relationship we saw things there were not going well with us. what im saying is let it go. and find it in yourself to be content and happy just by being by yourself. 1
jphcbpa Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Stop avoiding behaviors with this fwb situation. You are only keeping yourself closed off with this action.
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