happywithlife Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I am currently thinking about starting a long-distance relationship and would love to hear from others who have entered them. My boyfriend and I are in our mid-to-late 30s and are both divorced with kids. We have been seeing each other for almost a year and a half. He's a really great guy - good with his kids and mine, has very similar interests, good communicator, caring person. . . We both went back to school after our divorces and happen to both be finishing up this spring. He has a specialized degree and could not find a job in the city we currently live in. He found a job about 120 miles from where we currently live. I have a job that would allow for more flexibility with regards to location. Originally, I was going to move with him but have two large reservations: 1. I was offered an amazing job here that is typically not giving to people just graduating in my field. I know I could not get a similar job offer elsewhere. I could get a job with similar pay, but not one that would provide the same level of experience. 2. My boyfriend's family is here and so is mine. His goal is to move back here if a position opens up. I'd be willing to make the move with him if it were going to be a long-term move, but don't want to uproot my kids and have him find an opening here in 6 months to a year and uproot my kids again to move back here. So, I am seriously contemplating a long-distance relationship with him. We are both honest people with good communication skills so that's not an issue. We are both good a drawing and respecting boundaries. The problems that the long distance relationship would run into is scheduling, especially since we both have kids and my job will require me to work every other weekend. He has his the first three weekends of the month and I have mine all week and every other weekend. This would result in us only seeing each other every other weekend and we would always have kids with us. Right now we typically get one night a week together kid free and one weekend a month. My long-term goal would be to gain experience here for a year so I can get a similar job where he would be living, if he really likes it there and can see himself staying there for a long time. If he's not happy there, then he would continue to look for something here, move back, and we continue our relationship here. Obviously, my boyfriend and I have a lot to discuss this weekend. But thought I would see what others have to say. I'd love to hear how others have handled long-distance relationships, what makes them work well, etc. Thanks!
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I don't consider 120 miles long distance so I say go for it.
LittleTiger Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 If you've been together for a year and a half and he's only moving 120 miles away, I'm surprised you're asking the question. 120 miles is nothing, especially if you're in love and committed to one another.
TAV Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 I agree with the others; I think this is more a 'living apart together' situation than a LDR. We both have kids too and I know what you mean with the jugling of schedules, even to get a chance to talk in peace and quiet not to mentioned being actually together. But if I could trade with you today and would be able to drive 120 miles to see my bf each weekend, I would jump at the chance!
soccerrprp Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 My gf is over 2000 miles from me. That's long distance. 120 miles is not that long. I agree with others. If you two love each other, find a way for someone to make the 2-hour drive to see each other frequently.
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