whirl3daway Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 one of my biggest issues is actually being alone in my home. although my apartment has always been mine, my ex basically lived with me (without paying rent...) since October. and of course, now I associate that space with him and being with him there. I am going to rearrange furniture, and buy some new sheets/art to try to make it my own again. I do feel lonely there sometimes, though. I have been watching a lot of TV/netflix. I have been reading a lot. I have been surfing the internet a lot. I have been drinking wine. I have been texting my friends. What do you do to combat these feelings of being alone?
True Gent Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 It's difficult... I'm getting used to it slowly. The best thing for me was moving out of (our) house and into my own place. This probably isn't practical for you as you're already in your own place. Making some changes to it so you don't have any mental triggers around would be a good idea though. Things I did and am doing are... Buy new gadgets (TV/Home cinema/games console etc...) this was a good distraction for me. Get into your hobbies. I love music and I put on playlists that last for hours whilst surfing the net or reading. Or I go out cycling for exercise. Decorate or do some gardening. I keep busy with house work or playing about with my car in the garage. Keep in touch with your close family and friends. Netflix or the internet in general is good for passing time. I guess there is no getting away from feeling lonely after being used to a companion that lives with you. Coming home to an empty house and going to bed alone are strange things to get used to. I just think doing everything that interest you is all you can do. Missing talking to that other person is a real toughie.
smileforelena Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 (edited) i live on my own too and ex used to stay in my apartment for a couple of days a week. after the BU my place didnt feel like mine. so changed rooms, moved things, got new stuff. its inevitable to feel lonely sometimes but it helps me alot that i am really getting into the new activities i initially started as distractions after BU.i decided to finally finish the course i was taking (wasnt able to finish it the time i was supposed to because it was during the BU and i couldnt concentrate and function properly). i started doing the things i was interested in but i placed on hold for the relationship. And i got a dog. in a way, this alone time is allowing me to rediscover myself. i miss being part of a relationship but at the same time i think i need to get the power back before i get into a new one. and being able to do the things i enjoy and i excel in is empowering. Edited April 25, 2014 by smileforelena 1
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I got a dog & did a lot of what you have been doing. I also got involved in community activities to force myself to be out of the house at least 2 nights per week.
spook1 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I too am alone. I got my self playing Call of Duty with my kids online. I also do a lot of research on line. I also got involved in our Lord Jesus Christ. He's helped me along the way.
learning_slowly Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Watch the wine. I found alcohol made me think about my ex more and got me more depressed. Started going to the gym more reglarly and without alcohol, it's quite easy to look like a marine if you take it seriously. Do a course: Udemy.com is a cheap way. Get out to meet ups. New friends leads to new memories. Obviously old friends too, provided they aren't joint friends. Join clubs: I have now started kayaking, but it depends on your geography. Basically keep busy, so you don't have tome to think about them, then slowly your brain gets used to forgetting to think about them.
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