I'm not sure I completely undertsand this situation with a dating interest...?

[drg2365]

Ok so two months ago, almost exactly, maybe slightly longer I met this cute girl a bookstore and we went out that same night. The date went super well, and we had 4 subsequent dates over the next 5 weeks.

 

She is very shy and/or quiet, and a so-to-speak 'good girl' and doesn't seem like the kind of girl who sleeps around. But this leads to this issue...

 

She is a very good student doing very tough grad school, she is 24 and lives with her rents (understandable). But since our last date ~Mar29th? She has been ridiculously busy! I mean off the charts, but with reasons that she tells me about. But she responds to ALL my texts. But not really my calls, but always has a legitimate reason and texts me usually immediately. The past 3-4 weeks have been basically us hitting each other up (I do more than her, but she has initiated) about twice a week and have a decent text convo about how our week has been going, stories, general stuff. Like this week I've tried calling her twice. Once Monday, once yesterday (Thurs) decent spacing right? Monday she, again immeditely said she was baby sitting and studying and we texted for about an hour+. Last night, called her again, she again immediately responded: this is a sample of my confusion-

 

Me:Call, no response

Me(text because that's how I follow up a missed call): Hey hope you week's going well. Hanging in there after all those tests?

Her (quickly): I would have answered but I am at a noisy restaurant right now, sorry :/

Her: My brain hurts I'm exhuasted, but all my tests are done just finals!

Me: Hey that's the best way to look at it, the end is right around the corner. Did your tests Tues/Weds go well?

Her: Tues 100!, Wed 85

Me: Good job! That's pretty damn impressive, especially acing your tuesday test. Definitely enjoy your time out after good grades on back to backs.

Her (about two hours later): Thanks! I had a great time, its my favorite place. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Good night

 

See that's incredibly nice that she hit me back after being out (presumably) with her friends after an absolute brutal week. But part of me thinks this is 'friendzone', but I have made my intentions known, I have kissed her, held her hand, held her while walking. Nothing in my history has ever lasted this long without a rejection or 'declaration'. And its not even really a 'friendzone' unless she thinks talking to a guy (who isn't her 'friend') twice a week is the best thing since sliced bread. FZ is more often a guy who doesn't make a move with a girl he knows as a friend already.

 

Her reasons have been legitimate, as a former math major I know what she is going through with biology grad school. But I haven't seen her in a month. But she has: gone on vacation for spring break, went on a weekend trip with her gfs, visited her undergrad school, and has had a two week brutal run of tests and finals.

 

Seems to violate the golden rule of: time for you, she will have if interested. But we have gone on four dates before her run of 'busy', which she even sort of told me was going to happen. And ALWAYS replies to me.

 

What is going on and what should I do when her semester is over next week? Is this even worth it? I do like her and am attracted to her personality and body. Any experience with this...?

 

*Disclaimer I have attempted to date other girls during this, no such luck with them so I am not obsessed with this, this was on my mind after I was surprised she texted me and apologized for being out her friends last night*

[hasaquestion]

A few things, coming from someone your own age:

 

1. Don't assume she doesn't sleep around. Lots of people you would think are "good girls" (what does that even mean...) love one night stands. And plenty of people who have a front that would lead to assume they sleep around don't.

 

2. Don't assume that if she were not interested she would stop talking to you. Maybe she likes talking to you? The options laid out for her aren't 1) date you and 2) freeze you out. You're contacting her. She'll play along.

 

IMO you need to move on.

[drg2365]

A few things, coming from someone your own age:

 

1. Don't assume she doesn't sleep around. Lots of people you would think are "good girls" (what does that even mean...) love one night stands. And plenty of people who have a front that would lead to assume they sleep around don't.

 

2. Don't assume that if she were not interested she would stop talking to you. Maybe she likes talking to you? The options laid out for her aren't 1) date you and 2) freeze you out. You're contacting her. She'll play along.

 

IMO you need to move on.

 

See, I totally understand that. I know full well "good girls" is totally vague I just didn't really know how else to put it. Talking and knowing her situation to her she didn't seem to be into sleeping around. A guy cat called her while we were holding hands and she totally visibly did not like it. She was very, very shy around me initially on our first date (and even second initially), but we had great times all 4 dates. She is very nice and I smile a little when she asks me about my day. Again who knows, but that was my impression when we were 'dating for a month' before this situation.

 

Those aren't her only two options at all. But 99% the time, for me at least, those are the options that pan out. I mean yeah a week or so after a second or third date, you (both genders) talk a little and 'play along' but a month? Because I don't really know why she always, immediately responds, and details what she has been doing. No girl does that if she doesn't "like" you. Along with apologizing? Most, if they were polite, would say they just wanted to be friends, but she hasn't done that.

 

But now I don't really know what to do because I've never experienced this before.

Edited April 25, 2014 by drg2365

[ThorntonMelon]

If you're happy with things continue, if not, stop contacting and if she reaches out tell her you know how busy she is but are looking for someone with more availability.

[hasaquestion]

See, I totally understand that. I know full well "good girls" is totally vague I just didn't really know how else to put it. Talking and knowing her situation to her she didn't seem to be into sleeping around. A guy cat called her while we were holding hands and she totally visibly did not like it. She was very, very shy around me initially on our first date (and even second initially), but we had great times all 4 dates. She is very nice and I smile a little when she asks me about my day. Again who knows, but that was my impression when we were 'dating for a month' before this situation.

 

Those aren't her only two options at all. But 99% the time, for me at least, those are the options that pan out. I mean yeah a week or so after a second or third date, you (both genders) talk a little and 'play along' but a month? Because I don't really know why she always, immediately responds, and details what she has been doing. No girl does that if she doesn't "like" you. Along with apologizing? Most, if they were polite, would say they just wanted to be friends, but she hasn't done that.

 

But now I don't really know what to do because I've never experienced this before.

 

Why would she stop playing along after two or three dates? You give her attention. She likes attention. She's not going to say no.

[TXGuy]

Why would she stop playing along after two or three dates? You give her attention. She likes attention. She's not going to say no.

 

Spot on. Some women like collecting as many orbiters as she can. There is no downside for her and she can be sure that there will be someone to entertain her at all times.

 

I'm not saying this girl is doing that, but it is reasonably common.

[GemmaUK]

Hey drg! I remember this story...

I wondered only yesterday where this had got to.

 

It could well be that she is just that busy but also the trips away she has been on were planned a long time ago and before you were on the scene.

 

I think you perhaps need to 'put your foot down' a bit so to speak but before that I'll explain some stuff I've experienced which might well be similar to how she is too.

When I am exhausted I really don't like being on the phone to someone as I just am kinda brain dead and my voice can come over as uninspiring for want of a better word.

I was working hours at my office of 9am until 10pm for a week back a couple of weeks ago and will be doing the same again in a couple of weeks too. My friends (unless very close to me) get ignored, I don't plan anything and I just go to work, work and eat there and come home to sleep and shower - that is about all I can do.

My only 'me time' ends up being an hour in the morning when I wake up and have coffee!

 

She is responding to texts..and initiating..I can do that when I am at full pelt with everything else going on as it's lots less pressure when I have so much else going on.

 

But...you know when her semester is ending.

I expect the first thing that she'll be doing is meeting up with friends and then just relaxing for a day or so...but you don't know until you ask.

Ask her what plans she has for the end of semester.

 

drg...you have cajonas don't you?! I believe you do..

I would text her (she likes text clearly) and say something like.

 

'What are your plans for when you finish semester?

I'd like to see if we could meet up and get to know each other again, just to see if this is more than friends.

You've been busy and I respect that totally, however I think you are cute and if you like me too then.......

Admittedly I'm not so sure whether you are interested or not, I'm a guy and we aren't great at reading the signals so you gotta let us know! '

 

I got an almost identical text after a first meet up (as in the part where he couldn't tell if I was interested.

I was..and I told him I was.

Equally, if I hadn't been I would have said.

 

But..you'll get a clearer answer if you are more direct.

I think you have been very patient..but you two clearly do get along OK Man..you so need to know if she is interested!!

This scenario needs to get moving one way or another now though.

 

In every single new relationship someone had to be upfront first.

Relationships don't happen until one person is. I have been the upfront one before and I would do it again if I felt it.

 

I think with that text you might get an answer you can do something with..either walk or plan a date.

You have nothing to lose..and she does actually sound like a sweet young lady and if she isn't interested then..hey..you have done no wrong by asking where the land lies have you?

[drg2365]

Hey drg! I remember this story...

I wondered only yesterday where this had got to.

 

It could well be that she is just that busy but also the trips away she has been on were planned a long time ago and before you were on the scene.

 

I think you perhaps need to 'put your foot down' a bit so to speak but before that I'll explain some stuff I've experienced which might well be similar to how she is too.

When I am exhausted I really don't like being on the phone to someone as I just am kinda brain dead and my voice can come over as uninspiring for want of a better word.

I was working hours at my office of 9am until 10pm for a week back a couple of weeks ago and will be doing the same again in a couple of weeks too. My friends (unless very close to me) get ignored, I don't plan anything and I just go to work, work and eat there and come home to sleep and shower - that is about all I can do.

My only 'me time' ends up being an hour in the morning when I wake up and have coffee!

 

She is responding to texts..and initiating..I can do that when I am at full pelt with everything else going on as it's lots less pressure when I have so much else going on.

 

But...you know when her semester is ending.

I expect the first thing that she'll be doing is meeting up with friends and then just relaxing for a day or so...but you don't know until you ask.

Ask her what plans she has for the end of semester.

 

drg...you have cajonas don't you?! I believe you do..

I would text her (she likes text clearly) and say something like.

 

'What are your plans for when you finish semester?

I'd like to see if we could meet up and get to know each other again, just to see if this is more than friends.

You've been busy and I respect that totally, however I think you are cute and if you like me too then.......

Admittedly I'm not so sure whether you are interested or not, I'm a guy and we aren't great at reading the signals so you gotta let us know! '

 

I got an almost identical text after a first meet up (as in the part where he couldn't tell if I was interested.

I was..and I told him I was.

Equally, if I hadn't been I would have said.

 

But..you'll get a clearer answer if you are more direct.

I think you have been very patient..but you two clearly do get along OK Man..you so need to know if she is interested!!

This scenario needs to get moving one way or another now though.

 

In every single new relationship someone had to be upfront first.

Relationships don't happen until one person is. I have been the upfront one before and I would do it again if I felt it.

 

I think with that text you might get an answer you can do something with..either walk or plan a date.

You have nothing to lose..and she does actually sound like a sweet young lady and if she isn't interested then..hey..you have done no wrong by asking where the land lies have you?

 

Well the story hadn't gone much anywhere after that 4th date. But she has 'kept up her end of the bargain' so to speak by responding to me quickly and always. At least attempting to give reasons. Nothing like that has ever last this long without something laid out. But you're right I guess I have to do something about it.

 

But that aside, should I really text something like that? Her semester, according to her, ends next Monday. I'm not sure when I should time that since planning dates a week+ in advance is usually ill advised.

 

Thanks for the advice thought, it helped

[Gottabestrong]

Hi drg,

have you actually asked her out in the last month? I know she is very busy but from what you say she still has time to hang out with friends and go on holiday. She even just went to a restaurant on Thursday. So it is not like she is completely cutting herself off from all socializing.

 

If you have asked her out, I would like to hear what her answer was, that might help us give you advice.

 

Either way, sounds like her busy time will be over in a week. You have hung in there this long, might as well hang in there a little longer. My suggestion is to ask her if she wants to go out next weekend. If she is interested but can't make it next weekend she should come back with a suggestion for a different date. If she just says she can't it does not sounds like she is too interested.

 

Bottomline, you should definitely ask her out again and her answer should tell you whether she is still interested or not.

 

Good luck!

[drg2365]

Hi drg,

have you actually asked her out in the last month? I know she is very busy but from what you say she still has time to hang out with friends and go on holiday. She even just went to a restaurant on Thursday. So it is not like she is completely cutting herself off from all socializing.

 

If you have asked her out, I would like to hear what her answer was, that might help us give you advice.

 

Either way, sounds like her busy time will be over in a week. You have hung in there this long, might as well hang in there a little longer. My suggestion is to ask her if she wants to go out next weekend. If she is interested but can't make it next weekend she should come back with a suggestion for a different date. If she just says she can't it does not sounds like she is too interested.

 

Bottomline, you should definitely ask her out again and her answer should tell you whether she is still interested or not.

 

Good luck!

 

Good point:

 

I think in the past month I have asked her out 3 times (I try not to ask her out every single time I talk to her because that is desperate.

 

Time #1: Asked out on weekend - her and her friends went camping for start of spring break than other various plans

 

Time #2: She had various things to do, mostly going on a weekend thing with her dad

 

Time #3: She was busy all week for class, but asked to meet her for lunch downtown (where her class was) but she as in a study group and profusely apologized about being swamped

 

I understand she can spend her free time as she wishes, or even go out with other guys (have with other girls, all have ended lol), but as my friend put it 'at least she talks to you'

 

She had been open to going to a baseball game, but not until after her semester ends.

 

Keep in mind all these "reasons/excuses" are given to me always, immediately.

 

I was thinking about calling her this evening and kind of asking, 'so what's really good here, I know you've been stressed out, but since this started as a few really fun dates, {(* not saying this)at the very least you (morally/ethicaly) owe me a yay/nay} so we should get back to gether after your finals next week.

 

Again, I've never been in a waiting period this long. Would have dropped it, but she is very smart, and very nice.

Edited April 27, 2014 by drg2365

[deathandtaxes]

Nobody is ever so busy as to avoid going on a date for a month. I call complete BS on her. I wouldn't ask her out again. I wouldn't text. You've asked. She has refused multiple times. Screw that noise.

[drg2365]

Ok this as has always been, has taking twists and turns.

 

Enter this evening about 930 (100% accurate)

 

Me: Call - No response

Her (immediately, these are all immediately): You always seem to call when I get in or out of the shower haha (this has happened once before)

Me: Haha maybe I just have that sixth sense, give me a call when you get yourself our and ready

Her: I really shouldn't, I may have to pull a better part of an all nighter, lab practical final at 930 am

Her: I jumped in the shower just to refresh a bit

Me: Its ok I know its been hectic for you, but hey can I ask you a question?

Her: I'm losing my mind, Going crazy without a stable social life! But sure, go for it!!

Her:I 100% know what your going through with grad level science finals, I've jumped through those hoops too, but you do want to see each other again after you semester ends right? I really enjoyed seeing you before you go super busy after spring break.

Her: Of course. I look forward to be able to not plan everything and having a normal social life again and not have my brain tired all the time haha.

Ok: Ok awesome, that's good to hear, I wanted to see you agin too. You last test is the 5th right.

Her: Yes but its my big one and I probably won't be available that day, probably just going out to eat and crashing hard.

Me: No worries we can do something later next week like go to a basevall or game like cook dinner together

Her: Sounds good

Me: Good night and best of luck on that final tomorrow

Her: Thanks! good night

 

See, I guess? I waited it out. Still have one more week. But wtf, that last awhile and I still am not totally 'out of the woods' yes so to speak. I didn't want to bring up any kind of relationship stuff, just seeing each other again, imo you gotta do that in person, or at least over the phone, after its been floated in person.

 

Thoughts

[Gottabestrong]

Hmm, she did accept your invite for a date, so might as well wait and see if she actually follows through. But to be honest, I really don't like her habit of not picking up the phone when you call but texting right back. Come on, if she really missed your call by a minute (doubtful) she could have called back. And the fact that you asked her to call and she said she should not? And when you asked if you could ask a question she gives you all kinds of excuses instead of just saying 'sure'? Something doesn't sit right with me. If she has time to exchange a few texts, she should have time to talk on the phone for two minutes.

 

My advice is to not contact her for a while now, wait if she initiates. If she does, reply and say something like: 'I look forward to going to the game with you. Let me know what day you are free!'. Point being, force her to show her true colors, if she wants to see you she will let you know.

 

I've been to grad school myself and I currently work 60-80 hours, but I was always happy to chat with a guy I was really into or see him for at least an hour a week, even if it meant taking a study break. I know all people are different, but like I said, she is not shutting herself off from all socializing, she just seems to pick who she hangs out with and you are not on the list. Sorry!

 

Good luck!

[drg2365]

This is weird guys and other than 'No Contact' what do I do?

 

Ok so my more senior friend from work sold me his Braves baseball tickets that he got at half price, these were good seats with access to the VIP lounge, with Friday night fireworks, totaled $35, a steal considering face value was $25 alone. Did not tell her about VIP access because I had no idea what that really entailed.

 

This girl in question kept up her end of the bargain and agreed to go out to the game with me, relived finals were over and again apologetic that the last 4 weeks were swamped for her.

 

Than this scenario plays out....

 

So the girl agrees to drive to my apartment, we live about 30 minutes away, but she does this in Friday Rush Hour and it takes her an hour and a half to get to my place. But in the time she drove a torrential downpour happened out of nowhere and the game got delayed in advance.

 

Ok, so my tickets were valid for the replay, I was going to a game no matter what. So she gets to my apartment, we kind of brainstorm options and we agree to go out to eat and see what happens with the weather. We go to a really nice Italian place that (I had researched while it rained lol) that had a 'couples against cancer special' where you got a salad, entree, desert, and take home entree for $60 and the place donated 10 bucks to the American Cancer Society for every 'couple' that ordered it during May. Good deal all around and we didn't order drinks. The plan was just to go try out a bar than watch a movie at my place.

 

I should note that she wasn't feeling all that great, or at least gave off that vibe. While eating she took some medication for a 'headache problem' she has but it wasn't migraines, something else weird she briefly described.

 

While we were eating, the seas parted, and it stopped raining. I called the stadium and the first pitch was scheduled for 8pm (1hr delay).

 

So if the game was being played, dammit those are my tickets so we went. We got there at the bottom of the first, sat in the VIP lounge, ordered a beer. View was amazing. Found out if you didn't order food, you had a 30 minute limit on sitting in a viewing spot. Since we both ate, we went to our real seats and again, good seats.

 

Game was awesome, I gave her a kiss during 'kiss cam', we weren't on it, but so what? Had my arm around her multiple times, never a hesitation on her part. She was unnaturally cold during the game, I mean shivering, (weather at the coldest was 72, I was fine in a polo and shorts, girls are weird lol), and seemed generally uncomfortable and would go in and out of spurts of convo.

 

The game was fantastic, walk-off hit, the fireworks amazing. Held her (arm - because she was so cold, hand in jacket) back to my car. She agreed to come up back to my place for a bit.

 

But then ---- (she had referenced going home at a random point of the night) we are at my house all of 15 minutes. I do some general end of night things like close my windows, thermostat, etc, and she is playing with her purse. We breifly sit on my barstools and she says she should go home because her dog is sick (she lives with her rents, dog would have lived), and she is tired and not 100%, I offered her to crash, because it was midnight and a 30 minute ride back but she left. We hugged, shared a kiss, she left. What else is a guy to do (within legal and safe boundaries)?

 

WTF? Although inadvertent, I actually spent a lot of money on this 'date'. The dinner was going to be one off, and the replay I would have gone with my friends (spending even more money getting trashed with them). But it stopped and the game was played. I'm not mad I got 3 meals out of it as she gave her take home to me in exchange to keep the cheesecake lol.

 

But seriously, I do not get this. A girl drove 90 minutes in traffic to come to my place to see a game I did not hype up. She did not want to stay at my place. This would have been our 5th date and first in 5 weeks.

 

What the heck do I do?

 

(*This comes close to two situations I have had previously - she was on the rag (sexist, and non-understanding 100%) but a girl I went out with once in college exhibited the same headaches/freezing-cold on a summer day/semi-aloofness and admitted to it (for no reason, really but I guess it clarified, again I do not experience this lol)

 

(*Also a situation where a girl I attempted to date in college where there was a 'layoff' of 6 weeks due to winter break. Things did not work - she did not let them work, but the first time seeing each other again was a little deja-vu-ish)

 

Sorry for the novel. thought or advice?

 

Thanks in advance

[michellew]

This is weird guys and other than 'No Contact' what do I do?

 

Ok so my more senior friend from work sold me his Braves baseball tickets that he got at half price, these were good seats with access to the VIP lounge, with Friday night fireworks, totaled $35, a steal considering face value was $25 alone. Did not tell her about VIP access because I had no idea what that really entailed.

 

This girl in question kept up her end of the bargain and agreed to go out to the game with me, relived finals were over and again apologetic that the last 4 weeks were swamped for her.

 

Than this scenario plays out....

 

So the girl agrees to drive to my apartment, we live about 30 minutes away, but she does this in Friday Rush Hour and it takes her an hour and a half to get to my place. But in the time she drove a torrential downpour happened out of nowhere and the game got delayed in advance.

 

Ok, so my tickets were valid for the replay, I was going to a game no matter what. So she gets to my apartment, we kind of brainstorm options and we agree to go out to eat and see what happens with the weather. We go to a really nice Italian place that (I had researched while it rained lol) that had a 'couples against cancer special' where you got a salad, entree, desert, and take home entree for $60 and the place donated 10 bucks to the American Cancer Society for every 'couple' that ordered it during May. Good deal all around and we didn't order drinks. The plan was just to go try out a bar than watch a movie at my place.

 

I should note that she wasn't feeling all that great, or at least gave off that vibe. While eating she took some medication for a 'headache problem' she has but it wasn't migraines, something else weird she briefly described.

 

While we were eating, the seas parted, and it stopped raining. I called the stadium and the first pitch was scheduled for 8pm (1hr delay).

 

So if the game was being played, dammit those are my tickets so we went. We got there at the bottom of the first, sat in the VIP lounge, ordered a beer. View was amazing. Found out if you didn't order food, you had a 30 minute limit on sitting in a viewing spot. Since we both ate, we went to our real seats and again, good seats.

 

Game was awesome, I gave her a kiss during 'kiss cam', we weren't on it, but so what? Had my arm around her multiple times, never a hesitation on her part. She was unnaturally cold during the game, I mean shivering, (weather at the coldest was 72, I was fine in a polo and shorts, girls are weird lol), and seemed generally uncomfortable and would go in and out of spurts of convo.

 

The game was fantastic, walk-off hit, the fireworks amazing. Held her (arm - because she was so cold, hand in jacket) back to my car. She agreed to come up back to my place for a bit.

 

But then ---- (she had referenced going home at a random point of the night) we are at my house all of 15 minutes. I do some general end of night things like close my windows, thermostat, etc, and she is playing with her purse. We breifly sit on my barstools and she says she should go home because her dog is sick (she lives with her rents, dog would have lived), and she is tired and not 100%, I offered her to crash, because it was midnight and a 30 minute ride back but she left. We hugged, shared a kiss, she left. What else is a guy to do (within legal and safe boundaries)?

 

WTF? Although inadvertent, I actually spent a lot of money on this 'date'. The dinner was going to be one off, and the replay I would have gone with my friends (spending even more money getting trashed with them). But it stopped and the game was played. I'm not mad I got 3 meals out of it as she gave her take home to me in exchange to keep the cheesecake lol.

 

But seriously, I do not get this. A girl drove 90 minutes in traffic to come to my place to see a game I did not hype up. She did not want to stay at my place. This would have been our 5th date and first in 5 weeks.

 

What the heck do I do?

 

(*This comes close to two situations I have had previously - she was on the rag (sexist, and non-understanding 100%) but a girl I went out with once in college exhibited the same headaches/freezing-cold on a summer day/semi-aloofness and admitted to it (for no reason, really but I guess it clarified, again I do not experience this lol)

 

(*Also a situation where a girl I attempted to date in college where there was a 'layoff' of 6 weeks due to winter break. Things did not work - she did not let them work, but the first time seeing each other again was a little deja-vu-ish)

 

Sorry for the novel. thought or advice?

 

Thanks in advance

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you expected her to spend the night. I don't blame her for leaving. She probably felt the pressure and obsession from you. It's perfectly normal for a woman not to spend night on the 5th date, especially if she still lives at home.

[drg2365]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you expected her to spend the night. I don't blame her for leaving. She probably felt the pressure and obsession from you. It's perfectly normal for a woman not to spend night on the 5th date, especially if she still lives at home.

 

I mean I sort of expected her to? Even 'spending the night' doesn't mean two people have to have sex. Its more or less written in some un-written rule book I have learned, but in reality you don't have to have sex

 

I don't see how I 'pressured her, and obsessed' for F's sake all I did was invite her up to my place after we got back, at least just to chill out after the game. and the 15-20 minutes that unfolded was exactly as I told it. I offered her the option of crashing at my place if the ride back was too much, she had a few reasons not to stay, I let it be. Not at all like we came upstairs and I turned on Barry White and forced the business....

[drg2365]

Bump? Anyone with actual advice or similiar experiences?

[FitChick]

She wasn't in the greatest mood after being stuck in a car for an hour and a half in a rainstorm. How would you have felt if she had cancelled then? She went with you and it was chilly I guess after the rain. You should have offered her your jacket or draped it over both your shoulders for an opportunity to snuggle and warm her up by rubbing her back and arms. Or you should have bought a team sweatshirt or tee shirt for her to wear over her clothes.

 

I'm sure she had no intention of staying over. You hadn't seen each other in over a month or even heard her voice so it doesn't sound like the most opportune moment for first time sex.

 

I think most men who date her get impatient with her busyness but you waited it out and it paid off. I'd continue as before if you really like her. Play it by ear. Will she get time off for the summer?

[drg2365]

She wasn't in the greatest mood after being stuck in a car for an hour and a half in a rainstorm. How would you have felt if she had cancelled then? She went with you and it was chilly I guess after the rain. You should have offered her your jacket or draped it over both your shoulders for an opportunity to snuggle and warm her up by rubbing her back and arms. Or you should have bought a team sweatshirt or tee shirt for her to wear over her clothes.

 

I'm sure she had no intention of staying over. You hadn't seen each other in over a month or even heard her voice so it doesn't sound like the most opportune moment for first time sex.

 

I think most men who date her get impatient with her busyness but you waited it out and it paid off. I'd continue as before if you really like her. Play it by ear. Will she get time off for the summer?

 

It makes sense, but at the same time, I just sort of felt odd, I didn't make her uncomfortable about sex by pushing it heavily, but I also didn't want her to drive home 30-40 minutes at 12:30 am, sort of looking forward to cuddling up for the night if that is wrong?

 

She totally seemed to not feel well. And I had my arm around her most of the game, she had a jacket and a towel/blanket of her own, and was still so freaking cold she claimed she was always cold, I guess a lot of girls are, but it wasnt cold, yeah the after-rain made a little breeze, but it was about 72 and I was snug as a bug in shorts, but I felt bad and if the game went ridiculously longer we would have left.

 

I guess overall, I don't know whether to peg this as a success or not, we texted a little last night, I had a busy weekend. I mean it was fun, but relationship-wise I don't feel like it got anywhere, when I thought it could. Most of my friends were very confused and gave varying advice.