tornapart2002 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Just wondering how many BS deal with a WS cheating on them with an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend? This was the case for me. She had cheated on him 15 years ago and he always trashed the guy she cheated on him with. Then he cheated on me with her. I've never cheated. Never flirted. Never trashed him. Not perfect, but was probably doing things wrong I didn't know I was doing wrong. Anyhow, the woman is not a nice woman. I don't mean to run her down, really. She's just not. She sleeps around, she's very crude and mean to people and about them. So here are at least two men who went after her and one of them sacrificed a life with a 7 year old son who adores him, a wife who prayed for him (a fat lot of good that did), for her. she's not attractive. She's 300 lbs (I'm not saying that's the reason she's not attractive! Overweight people can still be attractive. I'm not a skinny girl either...despite having lost 55 lbs recently. I guess I mean she isn't what some would call attractive). She smokes and talks about sex in a nasty way all of the time. I know I'm not supposed to compare but I keep thinking: "What is the attraction to her?" "Is she easy?" "Is she ..." I mean, I can't get my mind wrapped around it. SHe used my husband like she always did. Her husband cheated on her and fathered another woman's child. Then he did it again right aroundthe time the affair with my husband became physical. Yet, I'm still here with this idiot who went after a woman, again, who simpy ****s all over him. Maybe I'm not ever going to be what he wants. I'm here because he asked me to stay and he's made so many changes. He told me today he's here not because he is afraid of losingour son but because he doesn't want to lose me. But then I wonder....maybe I'm a disgusting person too and that's why he stays with me. If that is the type of woman he is attracted to...ugly and mean...does he see me that way too? I always tried to be nice and thought I was better than her because I treated him right, never cheated on him, cooked dinner for him, tried to be intersted in what he was intersted in, paid attention to him. I got sick twoyears ago and didn't pay attention for awhile...that's when all of this happened. It wasn't my fault i got sick. So what if I get sick again? will he just go off with someone else again? He's in counseling because he says he wants to change. He wants to know why he did thsi and how he could. I want to be patient and give him time to work things out for himself, but sometimes I just wonder if I should have walked away 9 months ago when I first found all of this out.
painfullyobvious Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 My ex cheated with her a college friend that had a weird relationship. They never formally dated in college but clearly had some sort of relationship. So I believe she cheated with an ex. Here is the thing that is hilarious looking back. I hung out with this guy occasionally as he was friends with my ex. He was single a long time complaining how his last serious girlfriend crushed him because she cheated on him. Didn't stop him from cheating with my ex. I reminded him of that when I caught them. Im not sure it makes a difference if she cheated with an ex or if it had just been a random guy. 1
dichotomy Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 My WW continued a relationship with man - specifically she "downshifted" from hidden PA to hidden EA with a MM into our relationship and marriage. EX's are landmines of infidelity in a lot of marriages.
whatatangledweb Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 No, mine cheated with a coworker. Though after I read on many sites like this about people cheating with people they saw at their high school reunions, I told him he was not going to his. This was after I found out about his affair.
KaliLove Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Sort of. They'd been friends for years and had slept together on occasion but they never actually dated. She was in love with him the whole time though, and would do anything for him. Literally anything. She was married when they met and she left her husband hoping he would be with her. By both of their admissions, he never did anything to encourage her to think that they would ever be anything more than eff buddies..she just assumed. 1
Goodbye Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 My exMM was an ex boyfriend from college and my early 20s. We loved each other back then, but eventually the long distance made us part ways. It wasn't until 20 years later that we reconnected. Unfortunately, he wasn't "divorcing" as he told me, and well...the rest is history. So yes, he cheated on his wife with an ex. I now wonder if there was another Ex gf he rekindled things with...he used to tell me about an ex gf who was "obsessed" with him. Ha. He was probably obsessed with her and telling her about his "marriage from h#ll."
Goodbye Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 No, mine cheated with a coworker. Though after I read on many sites like this about people cheating with people they saw at their high school reunions, I told him he was not going to his. This was after I found out about his affair. Yes, I'm starting to think that school reunions are major playgrounds for people wanting affairs. 1
compulsivedancer Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Yes, I'm starting to think that school reunions are major playgrounds for people wanting affairs. Lots of what-ifs to be found there
Hardgrind Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 In my case (I was the BH) the AP was an old boyfriend of my WW. My wife insists that their past mutual history was the primary factor in the A. They had dated 20 years ago, many years before my wife and I met. It's pretty clear there were some unresolved issues with the way their relationship ended the first go around.
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