shvrk Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I'm 19, out of high school for about a year now, have my own job, make my own money even pay a little of the bills & sometimes buy groceries for the house. I ride the bus to and from work everyday, and I can even have the house to myself some weekends when my grandma is out of town. I've been making tons of new friends at work and meeting guys that I want to date, one I especially really like and want to hang out with more. For some reason one day I came home at 11:30 after she told me to be home before midnight on weekdays, she asked me the time, and I told her. She then told me that 10pm was reasonable on weekdays, and 12 on weekends. To me, that's ridiculous. How can I convince her to let me stay out later?
d0nnivain Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 You live under her roof. If you don't like her rules, live somewhere else. 7
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Be an adult, get your own place and move out. 4
CarrieT Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 She then told me that 10pm was reasonable on weekdays, and 12 on weekends. To me, that's ridiculous. It is reasonable. How can I convince her to let me stay out later? You don't. What the others have said - her roof, her rules. Start saving your money to live on your own. 3
veggirl Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 Honestly I don't think it sounds that unreasonable for a 19 yr old. Why do you need to stay out later, to do what? I mean if you meet up at 7pm or something, that's 5 hours of hanging out on a weekend night. 2
Tayla Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Start by respecting your grandmother. Then go about abidding by her loving regard for your safety and wellbeing. You will find that being an adult has its perks , one of them is to compromise and work towards an amicable home life. 2
The Like Fairy Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 She probably stays up worrying about you until you get home. And she might not want to stay up that late. I go to bed at 8pm so staying up until 10pm wondering if you got in a car wreck would exhaust me. Be thankful you have a roof over your head. Her rules aren't so bad. 2
JamesM Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Ditto on the rest. It is her house. You are a guest. ...even pay a little of the bills & sometimes buy groceries for the house. So I assume you do not pay rent? What is a little? Sometimes buy groceries? My guess is that you are getting a sweet deal, and with that sweet deal comes some rules. One day when you have kids, you will understand and realize that you have a wise...and very loving...grandma. 3
Smilecharmer Posted April 30, 2014 Posted April 30, 2014 Actually it isn't strict at all and really is just common courtesy to be in the house by the time your grandma goes to bed. Otherwise you disturb her or you keep her awake. If you aren't comfortable with this setup, get your own apartment and stop living there. 1
tomkat Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 When I was 19, I had my own apartment, worked 2 jobs, and was putting myself through college... Sounds like you have two options really; 1-move out, get a full time job with which you can support yourself, and stay out as long and as often as you'd like 2-respect the house rules and be grateful that your grandma even took you in at 19 in the first place. Pretty sure this it isn't ideal for her either 2
stillafool Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I agree with all the above. Grandma knows best, wants you in the house, doors locked so she can get a good nights sleep as well. If it bothers you why don't you get some friends, rent an apartment and split the rent. Otherwise as long as you are under Grandma's roof her rules apply. 1
littleplanet Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Well - like all the rest, it is grandma's house and her rules. But my, how times have changed. If you need to live there, then those rules will rule your life. If you need more freedom than you have....well then, that's the price of freedom. When I was your age, this is exactly why I wouldn't have lived in grandma's house! (In other words, if freedom was the issue, come hell or high water, I wouldn't have negotiated it with grandma.) You can't really have the best of both worlds. She's a grandma...not a roommate. And grandmas tend to do what grandmas do...... If living with grandma is the right and natural thing for you to do, then you are still being governed by a respected elder. On the other hand, if this does not feel right and natural to you, perhaps it's time to think things out a little. Does she have your best interests at heart? Probably. I wouldn't throw that baby out with the bathwater. Independence is something you move toward carefully and competently. Hopefully - with her blessings. 1
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