IrishDan Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 So I've had this major crush on this girl for the past 4 years. We chatted every once and a while, however we only really started talking and getting to know each other this year. There's been subtle flirting back and forth, some classes she sits next to me and we just chat and mess around. The thing is, my self confidence is pretty much at the bottom of the barrel and can't see why such an amazingly beautiful, funny and all round cool girl like her would be interested in me. A while back, one of her closest friends told me that she wanted me to ask her out. At first I was unsure on how to go about doing it. The next day another one of her friends told me the same. They both seemed 100% genuine. I couldn't let this opertunity pass me by so I sent her a message telling her that I really liked her. About 40 minutes passed, and at this stage I just lost all hope and thought she was just going to ignore my message. Then she replied saying that she liked me too. I have to admit, this was the happiest I had been in a long time. She then asked "So what now?" I suggested we go to the cinema together some night during the week. She said that her and a couple of her friends were going to a fair that was in town. At first I was a little let down because I wanted to be alone with her, but it was still better nothing. We chatted in the meantime, then a few days later, she said that her friends cancelled the plans to go to the fair and suggested that we go back to my plan of the cinema on Thursday. I was happy to hear this and was building myself up for the date. On the Tuesday before the date, she messages me saying that she was really sorry but she could not make it Thursday because she had to babysit, which just came up for her. She seemed really sympathetic and said she felt bad for cancelling. She said that we could still go during the weekend "if I still want". I have to admit, this made me feel pretty crap, as I had been pumping myself up for the night. I responded by saying that I understand, and that Saturday night would suit me, or whatever is good for her. She responded by saying "That's good so hah I'll let you know when I'm able to go anyways :)" What my biggest fear is that she mightn't get back to me. She's changed the date twice already. Is she just trying to be blunt and tell me she's not interested? If she doesn't get back to me today (Friday) should I ask her about the date today or tonight, or does that make me seem needy? (which I am, but I'd prefer not to show that) I really really like this girl and can't get her off my mind. She's the only girl I'm actually interested in. I'm just a overconcience mess right now and need some advice.
Shepp Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Just take a deep breath and chill dude! Let her do her thing, she'll get back to you or she won't! Don't worry about things that haven't even happened yet! If she doesn't get back to you, leave it a couple of days at least and then make a decision of just 'she's not intrested so leave it' or 'try to make her Intrested' but that's a discussion for another time, right now just sit back and wait and see how it plays out!
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Ugh, so many self mind games. If you want to date her then send her a message and ask her if Saturday still works. It doesn't make you needy for asking about plans, but it would make her less than courteous to keep you waiting.
preraph Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 So were you expecting that once a girl admits she likes you, that she will clear her schedule and be available 24/7 for you? If so, time for a reality check. People with active lives have to plan and make time for stuff. She wouldn't keep suggesting a later time if she didn't mean it. She would just leave it at she has to cancel. There is a very good chance that you will not be confident enough for this girl because you seemed, quite frankly, scared for no reason. You've said you're possibly not good enough for her. But take her out and see how it goes. If it goes well, fantastic. If not, then next time get crushes on girls you think you are equal to.
Frank2thepoint Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 What my biggest fear is that she mightn't get back to me. She's changed the date twice already. Is she just trying to be blunt and tell me she's not interested? If she doesn't get back to me today (Friday) should I ask her about the date today or tonight, or does that make me seem needy? (which I am, but I'd prefer not to show that) I really really like this girl and can't get her off my mind. She's the only girl I'm actually interested in. I'm just a overconcience mess right now and need some advice. Relax. Do some pushups, have the blood pumping to clear your head. After you've done this just take the situation at face value. She said she'll let you know, but has tentatively scheduled it for Saturday. This is good. Keep yourself busy, go for a jog, play some ball, look at videos online, whatever, just don't think too much. If she hasn't gotten back to you by Friday night, send her a quick message Saturday morning asking if you guys are still on for meeting. That's it. Now if she does respond and agrees, DO NOT TAKE HER TO THE CINEMA FOR A FIRST DATE! You can't talk and get to know each other in a cinema. Take her for some pizza or hamburgers, and a walk in the park. The first date is about you potentially building toward an emotional connection. Get to know her, let her get to know you, and be yourself. If she doesn't respond at all, or cancels again, don't sweat it. Keep yourself busy and active. You have your own life to live. Don't go freaking out, then obsessing over her.
Recommended Posts