xxjustinukxx Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Hi everyone, I'd like to tell you my story. So please bear with me. If you can find the time to read it, I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate your honest opinion. Two months ago I broke up with my girlfriend, after being single for a couple of years, after a long marriage that eventually ended, I met this woman. I'd known her face for a while as our kids went to the same school. Anyway, we started dating and quickly fell head over heels in love. Things were great for a while, them the cracks started to appear. My girlfriend would keep talking about my ex, calling her my wife, saying she felt she was still trying to control me, by asking me to look after my children at short notice etc. something which I happily did as they're my kids after all! She would ask me why I still talk to my ex, and why I can't see her at the weekends sometimes (I have my kids at the weekends). My ex and I agreed to not introduce any new partners to the kids until 6 mintgs had passed. After a while I felt ready and despite the agreement with my ex, I'm ashamed to say I introduced my girlfriend to the kids after a few months. To cut a long story short, I was out of work, and so to see my girlfriend I would walk to her place, in every weather, whenever she asked me to. I wanted it to work. After a while my girlfriend would ask me to stay over and so I arranged my plans around this. I always tried my best. I borrowed money to get her Xmas presents etc, I really worked my arse off for it. But eventually we decided to slow down and try actually dating, as we both felt we had rushed things. So we went to just seeing each other once a week or two, for a date. Which we did for a short time. She said she needed space. Then my girlfriend became unwell with an eye infection, it got so bad she couldn't see. Now I wanted to go to her, but I also wanted to continue to respect her wish for space, so I sent her messages saying I would be there in a heartbeat if she needed me. Her eyes got worse and she couldn't even read text messages. So I sent her mum a message saying I'll do whatever she needs me to do. But heard nothing. About 2 weeks passed and I tried to stay in touch but had no money to call, so I sent messages saying what can I do etc, still no reply. She phoned me soon after to say it wasn't working and I wasn't there for her. And she broke the relationship off. In the weeks that followed I offered to go over, to talk. She said she would let me know if she was free that day. I heard nothing. I texted her that afternoon and she said she had been waiting in for me to come and sweep her off her feet. So, now, she says I wasn't there for her. I let her down, I made promises I couldn't keep. Like that I'd always be there. She truly believes I'm a let down. She texted me recently saying what we had was based on lies and that I'm not who I said I was. That she fell in love with someone who didn't exist. My heart breaks every time I think of her, I spend most nights in tears wondering how I let her down. Its hurting so much. How can I move on from this? My friends and family say I did nothing wrong, so why is my ex convinced of exactly the opposite? If anyone can help make sense of this, I can't say how grateful I'd be.
RonaldS Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 You already got out of one bad marriage, and now you've just saved yourself from getting into another. Or did you want to spend your life with somebody who was insecure and put a bunch of expectations on you but couldn't communicate like an adult and held it against you that you couldn't read her mind, all while she's essentially going blind? We call this 'dodging a bullet'.
PinkInTheLimo Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Hi everyone, I'd like to tell you my story. So please bear with me. If you can find the time to read it, I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate your honest opinion. Two months ago I broke up with my girlfriend, after being single for a couple of years, after a long marriage that eventually ended, I met this woman. I'd known her face for a while as our kids went to the same school. Anyway, we started dating and quickly fell head over heels in love. Things were great for a while, them the cracks started to appear. My girlfriend would keep talking about my ex, calling her my wife, saying she felt she was still trying to control me, by asking me to look after my children at short notice etc. something which I happily did as they're my kids after all! She would ask me why I still talk to my ex, and why I can't see her at the weekends sometimes (I have my kids at the weekends). My ex and I agreed to not introduce any new partners to the kids until 6 mintgs had passed. After a while I felt ready and despite the agreement with my ex, I'm ashamed to say I introduced my girlfriend to the kids after a few months. To cut a long story short, I was out of work, and so to see my girlfriend I would walk to her place, in every weather, whenever she asked me to. I wanted it to work. After a while my girlfriend would ask me to stay over and so I arranged my plans around this. I always tried my best. I borrowed money to get her Xmas presents etc, I really worked my arse off for it. But eventually we decided to slow down and try actually dating, as we both felt we had rushed things. So we went to just seeing each other once a week or two, for a date. Which we did for a short time. She said she needed space. Then my girlfriend became unwell with an eye infection, it got so bad she couldn't see. Now I wanted to go to her, but I also wanted to continue to respect her wish for space, so I sent her messages saying I would be there in a heartbeat if she needed me. Her eyes got worse and she couldn't even read text messages. So I sent her mum a message saying I'll do whatever she needs me to do. But heard nothing. About 2 weeks passed and I tried to stay in touch but had no money to call, so I sent messages saying what can I do etc, still no reply. She phoned me soon after to say it wasn't working and I wasn't there for her. And she broke the relationship off. In the weeks that followed I offered to go over, to talk. She said she would let me know if she was free that day. I heard nothing. I texted her that afternoon and she said she had been waiting in for me to come and sweep her off her feet. So, now, she says I wasn't there for her. I let her down, I made promises I couldn't keep. Like that I'd always be there. She truly believes I'm a let down. She texted me recently saying what we had was based on lies and that I'm not who I said I was. That she fell in love with someone who didn't exist. My heart breaks every time I think of her, I spend most nights in tears wondering how I let her down. Its hurting so much. How can I move on from this? My friends and family say I did nothing wrong, so why is my ex convinced of exactly the opposite? If anyone can help make sense of this, I can't say how grateful I'd be. The first thing that comes to my mind is that you seem to have very little money and that you should solve that problem first. Not to spend it on a woman but to make sure that you and your kids can have a good life. My second impression is that this woman is very demanding. I think you did all you could, and actually too much. You should have put up stronger boundaries to show her that not everything is about her.
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