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Important dates: First date? Date you become official?

mammasita

By mammasita
in General Relationship Discussion

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I'm talking before engagement and marriage so all of those dates are irrelevant. Strictly talking relationship....what dates do you consider important?

 

I'm not one to go crazy with OMG, ITS ONE WEEK, OMG ITS ONE MONTH!!

 

But....... I'd like to either commerate our first date or the date we became official at the one year point. I'm just not sure which holds more importance.

 

What do you all think?

dichotomy Established Member

dichotomy

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What does it mean to be "official" ?

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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What does it mean to be "official" ?

 

When you actually talk about not seeing other people, become exclusive and decide you're in a relationship. In OLD terms you take down your profiles. In high school terms you "go steady".....

 

Most people make assumptions, I don't.....I like to know.

Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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I've always gone by our first date, because for us that's pretty much when we were both all in. We never had the "official" talk. It was just a given.

 

Are you planning something special?:)

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I've always gone by our first date, because for us that's pretty much when we were both all in. We never had the "official" talk. It was just a given.

 

Are you planning something special?:)

 

Not sure yet. We're talking about a mini weekend away.....he has a terrible memory and was telling Siri the dates to remind him. That in itself made me LMAO.

 

I am leaning toward the first date being a little more special though.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia Established Member

Smthn_Like_Olivia

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Not sure yet. We're talking about a mini weekend away.....he has a terrible memory and was telling Siri the dates to remind him. That in itself made me LMAO.

 

I am leaning toward the first date being a little more special though.

 

We did our first long weekend last month in a cabin up in the Smoky Mountains. It was AMAZING. Not an anniversary but something we'd talked about since we first started dating.

Mascara Established Member

Mascara

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When you talk to people years later, you always want to know about the first date... not the date they had a conversation. I've known people who deliberately plan a wedding for an anniversary of the first date - again, you rarely hear of people doing that for the anniversary of the first time they decided not to see other people.

 

So I'd say first date, every time. I'm in the UK, we don't really do "the talk" anyway, and both of us take it from the first date (we just got to 6 months)

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Snakechammah Established Member

Snakechammah

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For mine, well, the date we first met, and the date we agreed to become exclusive. Those are what we 'celebrate' every month until the day we become husband and wife!

 

:bunny:

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I'm convinced. First date (which is the date we first met) it is ;)

Edited by mammasita
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Shepp Established Member

Shepp

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Thes 2motnth since our first date anniversarys that i see on facebook make me laugh!

Saw a 1 week anniversary once - really now!?

 

Had someone we'd just met ask us whelks long we'd been together the other week which resulted in a lot of urms and finger counting, it actually made me look at some of my old threads to get the exact date of our first 'date' and I think that is a nice peice of infomation to have - more so if your first date is one of the first times you really meet one on one, probably less special in my relationship because the start was messy.

 

That said I think the first date carries way more significance than the are we official talk, that's the day that was the start of something the official thing is just a conversation!

Plus not everyone has a 'let's make this official' conversation! I think ours was as brief as a "so we're doing this then" "sure are babe" - not really a story to tell the grand kids!!

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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For me the most special dates aren't known until after they've occurred and I can look back on them in retrospect.

 

Just enjoy each other's company and you can't go wrong.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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It's whatever you want.

 

I actually am not quite sure now what date our first date was on :o, but I remember when we made it official, i.e. had the exclusive talk and decided we wanted to be in a relationship, so for me that would be the date I commemorate after a year.

 

In other relationships if I remember the date of the first date I'd maybe mention it or the date of a big trip we took or some other first. I do mark off months but I don't celebrate them with any fanfare, however I will often remember like hey, it's been 3 months to this date etc.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Since I have no idea when we became official, we celebrate the 1st date because I know what that was. DH couldn't tell you either date lol. We also celebrate the engagement anniversary.

 

Before you get your feelings hurt however, you do need to talk to your partner & tell that person your expectations if you expect to celebrate dating anniversaries. Men don't think the same way as women & I have responded to so many posts from women who were upset because he didn't go all out or forgot.

kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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We don't really do anything to celebrate our first date anniversary (I'll usually say "oh hey! It's been _____ years since our first date as of today!" and that's it), and I have no idea what our "exclusivity" anniversary even is. We're getting married this year so obviously we will recognize that, but pre-marriage anniversary celebrations have been pretty much nonexistent for us. We do lots of nice things together all the time, so I really don't care whether or not those things fall on a specific day.

Silly_Girl Established Member

Silly_Girl

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We note our first date.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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We're getting married this year so obviously we will recognize that, but pre-marriage anniversary celebrations have been pretty much nonexistent for us. We do lots of nice things together all the time, so I really don't care whether or not those things fall on a specific day.

 

The reason we acknowledge the 1st date & engagement anniversaries is because without them, there wouldn't be a wedding / marriage.

 

Our 1st date was at a Mexican restaurant so all we do is have Mexican food & maragritas for the date anniversary.

 

We got engaged on a vacation & we tend to vacation at the same time every year. It's just when we like to get away because it's cold here so we'll do something to mark the occassion although DH did go all out for the 5th anniversary.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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Since I have no idea when we became official, we celebrate the 1st date because I know what that was. DH couldn't tell you either date lol. We also celebrate the engagement anniversary.

 

Before you get your feelings hurt however, you do need to talk to your partner & tell that person your expectations if you expect to celebrate dating anniversaries. Men don't think the same way as women & I have responded to so many posts from women who were upset because he didn't go all out or forgot.

 

Definitely with you on that. I already know his memory is terrible so I don't expect him to remember without gentle reminders and would never get mad because he's not a mind reader :p

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Definitely with you on that. I already know his memory is terrible so I don't expect him to remember without gentle reminders and would never get mad because he's not a mind reader :p

 

My reminders aren't always that gentle. :D

Damaged217 Established Member

Damaged217

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Traditionally, I've always done anniversaries based on the day we became exclusive. My first date with the guy I'm seeing now was in November and we became "official" on Christmas. I'm thinking I'm going to get screwed with a Christmas anniversary date so I might have to go with a first date anniversary with this one! haha

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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I haven't celebrated those kinds of anniversaries since I was in my early 20s. I'd have to think pretty hard to figure out when we became exclusive, officially. We were de facto exclusive on our first date, but it wasn't discussed til about a month or two later. I do know when our first date was....but only because I know it was 8 days after a nail in the coffin blow out with someone else :o So I don't mention that much to my bf LOL.

ASG Established Member

ASG

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In my relationships, even if the "conversation" happens at a later date, we back track the anniversary date to whenever we felt we started really dating.

Like, with one ex, it was on his birthday (our 2nd date), with another, it was it a couple of weeks after we started seeing each other, but it was a defining moment in the course of things, with another we backtracked it to the first date, etc, etc, etc.

 

it depends, but it wasn't always the FIRST date, but the point we thought maybe things were/could be different. Sometimes the "talk" didn't happen for weeks after that!

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