Michael 93 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Man O Man, People can really mess us up cant they. Jeezus that is wild!!!
Summerrose2013 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Beauty comes from within....ever had an ex who you thought was stunning when they were with you and treating you good, only to see them a year later after a messy break up where they showed their other side and find yourself repulsed by them....?
Michael 93 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Beauty comes from within....ever had an ex who you thought was stunning when they were with you and treating you good, only to see them a year later after a messy break up where they showed their other side and find yourself repulsed by them....? Oh Most Definately! My teenage love.. I never ever thought I would fall for anyone again after losing her. We went through it all, Took my virginity, abortions, the whole shabang.. Took me around 3 years to find the woman who blew my mind, and me falling deeper in love than i ever was with my ex. That woman is the reason I am on this site today. And believe me am I panicking its going to take just as long.....YES!! Crazy thing is... I found out she was having another baby around 2 weeks ago (teenage love) , Not even an ounce of pain entered my body. Just "fair enough, all the best" I just don't know man.
David87 Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Well she is very attractive and loved me for nearly 3 years so I guess I'm alright looking. I just want what I can't have!!!!! It doesn't matter because she's done with you either you accept that or not.
Natsume21 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I really don't understand this thread. Back in the day before the Internet was invented, when a girl broke up with you, she did it in person, and you know what happened? She disappeared, you disappeared, and life went on. Now people using facebook and social media to prolong the painful inevitable. Treat it like people did back in the day.... STAY...AWAY!
BC1980 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I really don't understand this thread. Back in the day before the Internet was invented, when a girl broke up with you, she did it in person, and you know what happened? She disappeared, you disappeared, and life went on. Now people using facebook and social media to prolong the painful inevitable. Treat it like people did back in the day.... STAY...AWAY! Yup. Social media has made it possible to live in an alternate reality and keep ties to your exes. Even texting has made people lazy with communication, and it's very impersonal. It's easy to keep that impersonal attachment to an ex just to keep the door open.
Author ahthepain Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Ok quick update : So we spent the day together yesterday and she has set new boundaries like no touching or kissing or anything at all. Because of what happened on Friday (her watching me jack off and letting me feel her up). She was very blunt with me and even said if she broke up with her new guy she would never ever get back with me she would just find someone else. That kind of hit home. I annoyed her but I want to spend one afternoon with her. Show her I just see her as a friend then go complete NC and not see her again. I just want her to remember me as a decent honest guy I guess. So after I have seen her one more time that will be it and I will try my hardest to stay away from her. I felt so much better after doing NC for 3 weeks so I just have to think how great I will feel if I can keep that up again.
KaliLove Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Why do you need to see her one more time? If you were annoying her today, you'll only annoy her more the next time. And you obviously don't just see her as a friend..and she can probably smell that on you from a mile away. Why can't you just leave it alone? You're like a heroin addict who wants one last hit. Then another. Then another. Then another. Seeing her one last time is probably going to leave more of a negative impression on her than a positive one. The more you see her, the more chances you have to leave a bad taste in her mouth about you. Leave it alone.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Ok quick update : So we spent the day together yesterday and she has set new boundaries like no touching or kissing or anything at all. Because of what happened on Friday (her watching me jack off and letting me feel her up). She was very blunt with me and even said if she broke up with her new guy she would never ever get back with me she would just find someone else. That kind of hit home. I annoyed her but I want to spend one afternoon with her. Show her I just see her as a friend then go complete NC and not see her again. I just want her to remember me as a decent honest guy I guess. So after I have seen her one more time that will be it and I will try my hardest to stay away from her. I felt so much better after doing NC for 3 weeks so I just have to think how great I will feel if I can keep that up again. You really insist on doing everything ass-backwards don't you? Why the hell do you need another hang-out? Stop being stupid, take her at her word and leave her alone. Stop trying to manipulate her feelings about you.
Author ahthepain Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 Why does she do intimate stuff with me but say she has zero feelings for me and loves this new guy? Then wants to be friends again but no touching. Man it's confusing.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Why does she do intimate stuff with me but say she has zero feelings for me and loves this new guy? Then wants to be friends again but no touching. Man it's confusing. THAT'S WHY YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING TO HER!!!!!!!!!! That's what a lot of dumpers do, but because you don't have the common sense to stop talking to her, now you are bending your mind into a pretzel unnecessarily. 2
KaliLove Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Why does she do intimate stuff with me but say she has zero feelings for me and loves this new guy? Then wants to be friends again but no touching. Man it's confusing. Letting you jerk off in the same room as her is not intimate. She keeps telling you over and over and over and over again that she doesn't want you back. Why do you refuse to listen to what she's making abundantly clear? She is using you to boost her ego. Who wouldn't want some dude panting after them like a horny lovesick puppy? It feels good to be wanted. But she doesn't want you back. Stop twisting everything around. You need to take your hand out of the fire and go NC. You're going to hurt yourself even more. 2
Author ahthepain Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 I really do actually want to move on. I completely understand that it is over. I just want her to remember me in a positive light and not end it the way it was that's why I just want one afternoon of me not ****ing up and not talking about our relatinoship, her current one just being good friends. Then BOOM! I'm gone.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I really do actually want to move on. I completely understand that it is over. I just want her to remember me in a positive light and not end it the way it was that's why I just want one afternoon of me not ****ing up and not talking about our relatinoship, her current one just being good friends. Then BOOM! I'm gone. She'll be much more likely to remember you positively if you just left her alone than if you try this stunt. Stop trying to manipulate her feelings. Leave her alone and let her think of you however she chooses. But whatever, you don't listen and you are extremely intent on doing everything ass-backwards. So best of luck. 1
BC1980 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I really do actually want to move on. I completely understand that it is over. I just want her to remember me in a positive light and not end it the way it was that's why I just want one afternoon of me not ****ing up and not talking about our relatinoship, her current one just being good friends. Then BOOM! I'm gone. You can't control how someone remembers you, which is actually likely to change over time. Honestly, after what you've done, I don't see how she could see you in a positive light, but, certainly, staying in contact makes it far worse. 2
McDonald Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I come back onto the forum to see what has changed in the world of love and breakups, obviously not much. @ahthepain You sound exactly how I did a year and a half ago when my ex broke up with me. Legit the same-- I would walk by her place and see her lights on She would text me to hangout and do things that we did when we were dating, but now were no longer dating. Then she would cut off contact completely.... message me again.. cut off contact. Then she gets a new boyfriend a few weeks later, after saying shes gonna take time for herself. Your story is very unique. But know that you are not alone in what is happening to you. I would post here all the time. I would get tons of great advice from simon phinox, cav, tara, list goes on... but did I really listen? Well yes, but did I implement the advice? well.. no and boy did it take me a long time to get over her... it took about a year. yea a year, and we only dated for 8 months. meaning, I though of this girl LONGER than i dated her for. Listen, People are going to give you great advice here. And honestly, I will put money on it that you wont listen to the majority of it besides the straight up NC. I never deleted her off FB (Though I did change the settings where i wouldnt get pictures) Because of this, I would go on FB and not look at her profile, but see if she was online from the side friends bar. Why? Because i never took her off FB. But I did eventually get over it. I did stop walking by her place, I did stop checking to see if she was online. I did stop looking at the same iphone games we played to see if her score changed etc. What Im trying to say is, You WILL eventually become tired of wearing yourself down. The energy it takes to search her on Facebook will become overwhelming. i bet you ask yourself "why am I doing this"> Just know that one day you will realize that it is not worth it anymore. Your mind will click and go NC without even asking you, without you listening to anyone. You will fight for the next few months- but you will eventually lose to your mind, and your mind will do whats best for you. You can Speed up the process and by trying to avoid her, physically, online, psychology by having new hobbies. Or you can just wait it out. You can drive yourself crazy, because thats what I did. but let me tell you- it will pass eventually. maybe not soon, but eventually. I saw my ex on campus a few days ago, at first I didnt even know who she was. 1
Author ahthepain Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 You can't control how someone remembers you, which is actually likely to change over time. Honestly, after what you've done, I don't see how she could see you in a positive light, but, certainly, staying in contact makes it far worse. What have I done? I havn't told her new guy she cheated on him? I have begged yes but I have never harmed her in any way and was great to her through a very tough three years for her.
Author ahthepain Posted May 20, 2014 Author Posted May 20, 2014 @MacDonald Thank you for the kind words. I have had such great and harsh advice from people on here. All of which I know is to help me move on. I feel I am ready to move on. I have had complete closure and I know she isn't coming back so what choice do I have? I just hate leaving things bad or even abit iffy, that's why i just want one last afternoon of me just being me a good guy and hopefully she will remember that.
FredJones80 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I call time on this thread. Lets just close it already. 1
KaliLove Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 What have I done? I havn't told her new guy she cheated on him? I have begged yes but I have never harmed her in any way and was great to her through a very tough three years for her. Uh..you tried to bribe her with money and a house for sex...that's pretty twisted and gross. Crying and begging isn't very attractive either. You cannot control how she remembers you. The sooner you walk away, the better. I know you won't listen but I'll say it again. Seeing her one more time will NOT help you. Not in any way. It will probably make her dislike you more. It will upset you more. It does not do either of you any good. Don't do it. There will always be an excuse to see her 'one last time'. Every time will be one last time. This time was meant to be one last time. Just give it up already. 1
BC1980 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 What have I done? I havn't told her new guy she cheated on him? I have begged yes but I have never harmed her in any way and was great to her through a very tough three years for her. Just staying in contact with her at all makes you look weak because she knows she has the upper hand. What you view as being nice, like offering her a house, she sees as weak and pathetic. 1
Author ahthepain Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Ok guys. I shall try my hardest over the next couple of days to not see her. I did the no contact for a good solid 3 weeks and before I did it she didn't want to be friends and seemed to really dislike me. When I broke it she said how much she wanted to be friends and all that stuff happened, so you guys are right. I just fear I have left it on such a bad note.
BC1980 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Ok guys. I shall try my hardest over the next couple of days to not see her. I did the no contact for a good solid 3 weeks and before I did it she didn't want to be friends and seemed to really dislike me. When I broke it she said how much she wanted to be friends and all that stuff happened, so you guys are right. I just fear I have left it on such a bad note. It's a breakup, so we are limited with how good of a note we can leave it on. Even if there wasn't some massive blowup, no one leaves a breakup with rainbows and bubblegum, everyone agreeing and no hard feelings. We don't go skipping off unto the sunset with mutual respect to live the life we are supposed to live and getting some bigger meaning to all of it. More likely, it's just a sh*tty part of life that we all experience, and the best thing to do is simply walk away.
KaliLove Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 It's a breakup, so we are limited with how good of a note we can leave it on. Even if there wasn't some massive blowup, no one leaves a breakup with rainbows and bubblegum, everyone agreeing and no hard feelings. We don't go skipping off unto the sunset with mutual respect to live the life we are supposed to live and getting some bigger meaning to all of it. More likely, it's just a sh*tty part of life that we all experience, and the best thing to do is simply walk away. I have bubblegum...just saying...
Natsume21 Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Beauty comes from within....ever had an ex who you thought was stunning when they were with you and treating you good, only to see them a year later after a messy break up where they showed their other side and find yourself repulsed by them....? Girl I met last year. Gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous from head to toe. We became friends. 2 months after I got to know her, I found she had signs, CLEAR SIGNS, of NPD(Narcisstic Personality Disorder) She was an extreme narcissist who couldn't handle criticism, wore tons of makeup to off set her appearance, and hung out and attracted all kinds of trouble-making people with criminal records. Dropped her after 5 months. She went from gorgeous to absolutely REPULSIVE in my eyes. 1
Recommended Posts