Gaeta Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I have been in an exclusive relationship for 2 months. My issue isn't with this man but I fear what I want to do to find some closure from my last relationship may be disrespectful of him. Before him I dated a man for 6 months. We had an amazing 6 months together till the day he left the country and I never heard from him until 2 months later. After 2 months he sent me an email (early March) saying what a wonderful woman I was blahblah and he felt it was unfair to ask me to put my life on hold for him. (he's gone till August) When he boarded that plane to leave we were suppose to go through this together and wait for each other. I have never replied to that email so I have never let out my anger and disappointment about how he abandoned me with no words. Lately I have been feeling the need to do so, to just let it out and tell him how much he hurt me and embarrassed me. But then, there is this man in my life now and I would not want to do anything to lose his trust and respect. Would it be acceptable I do this?
Chocolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Hmmmm. It sounds like you are not over the other guy, in which case, it's not a matter of being disrespectful to your new guy (what's going on with his Visa, btw?) but of being clear about your feelings. Even if you are over the first guy, I don't see what writing to him will do. If you just want catharsis, why don't you write an email that you don't send?
Author Gaeta Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 I still have a thought for him each day, I don't know if it's motivated by unsolved feelings or just because I have never let out how he hurt me and angered me. When people split it's because they have problems. Break ups are hard but then you know why you split. In my case nothing of that happened, we never had a disagreement in 6 months, when he left it was clear we were in love and I was waiting for him. Then Poof! gone. I did not react, did not really cry, I played tough and moved on. Now it's biting me back in the @ss. Boyfriend has put the visa situation on the back burner.
Chocolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 So if I am reading the timeline right, you started dating your new guy right around when you received the email from the first guy telling you not to put your life on hold. Yes? Is it possible Guy 1 was married to or involved with someone in whatever country he was traveling to? That might explain why he'd suddenly bow out. Regardless, it seems you are still processing feelings from Guy 1. Maybe Guy 2 is more a diversion than the real deal?
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