Brutus Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I did it, I am guilty! I broke NC after about 1 month to wish my ex good luck for an exam. I just could not resist, I miss her so much in my life and I thought that I just do not want her to easily forget about me. She replied, asking whether my parents are here already (she knows they are about to visit me). I do not feel bad or anything and I know her message was just a formal/courtesy one but now i wonder: shall I answer out of courtesy (we have never been rude to each other) or shall I just ignore her at the risk of sounding resentful?
Mary Oak Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I know you are not going to want to hear this...but my only regret of NC is not doing it soon enough and not keeping up with it!!!! All it is going to do is set you back. You will wait for her to respond again...and be disapoointed if she does not. And if she does, it will be polite and you will read into every word... at least, that is what i did for months and months. I get the fact that you want to remain kind and not resentful. I feel the same way about my ex. In fact, I need to contact her regarding some business and I am apprehensive in doing so because I don't want her to think i am being spiteful either. But, for your own healing...leave it be... Please...for your own good.
elseaacych Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Answer out of courtesy, and then end with. "Ok, nice talking to you. Talk to you later." Shut it down. 1
Jiivy Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Don't kick yourself. I admit, I broke NC a month after she left me - I was about to sit an exam, I remembered all the support and love we gave each other over the years and how much strength she gave me... We all mess up sometimes. What's comforting is that you know it was wrong. That's positive in itself. It happened, I don't think it changes anything - certainly put you back a bit in your recovery maybe! Stay strong and know that it's OK to hurt, just don't repeat it.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Answer out of courtesy, and then end with. "Ok, nice talking to you. Talk to you later." Shut it down. This is the best answer. You already screwed up by contacting her -- if you contact, then don't answer her follow up question, you look like you are just playing juvenile games. Answer politely, then send the above, then STOP CONTACTING! 1
Author Brutus Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Yeah, i answered very briefly out of courtesy, although I took my time to do so. Fortunately she did not write back (there wasnt much to answer to anyway). "Out of sight, out of mind", that is what I was afraid of. But now I see, it will happen anyway, a sms won't change anything. Sometimes I think about what she told me last time we met, that if we had lived in the same city it would have been different and perhaps we would still be together. But now I realise, that if you love someone you do, regardless of the city (s)he lives in. Lesson learned. I won't contact her again. She surely won't because she knows it would hurt me and she respects it. Thanks guys for your support. 2
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