Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 ??? How about working? Reading and posting on LS, is work! Thank God I have an office!
Keenly Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 That's not what I said. I said if the man was tired OK fine. People get tired or they had a bad day. If I expect my husband to understand when I'm not in the mood, I have to understand when he's not. In this instance, the guy said he would rather watch a recorded TV show then make love with his GF. When I guy picks TV over me, I'm going to be annoyed. If he said, I'm tired & need to chill by watching TV, that would be one thing. He didn't say that. He made it seem like the recorded TV show which he could watch any time, including after they had sex, was more important to her. Even if that's not what he said or what he meant, that's the message she (& I) received from his post. Are you taking into account that they had already had sex twice that day? Does that alter your opinion in any way?
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Are you taking into account that they had already had sex twice that day? Does that alter your opinion in any way? It does not alter mine, # of times a day is not a concern for me in a relationship. If both want to have sex 5 times a day, and can, go for it. It's happened to me many times. I personally would not say "Baby, we've done it 2 times already". Sexual compatability: I'd be ready to go again if she was! I think this boils down to the OP being afraid to express his needs and define boundaries, cause well, look at what he is dating. There could be some sexual compatible issues too. She is sexaully messed up, he is not! Just kidding, kind of.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Thanks so much for your input man I know she's not perfect now... For a long time when we were just friends I thought she was. Are our issues worse than any other couple? I don't know. I'm just too inexperienced. But I can tell you one thing. My brother is divorced and his wife was horrible. Treated him very badly. Even with my girlfriend's issues she is far better than my brother's ex wife. She is usually sweet but sometimes snotty. Like she'll make a comment about my place like "I wish I had a brother who would buy me a place like this" and roll her eyes... like wtf? She has 2 sisters... she's the youngest. This is the first time she's stormed out of the room though. I didn't like that. I don't know. What can I do? I would kick myself if I ended it and ended up alone for a year... OP, I took sod me time to read some of your other posts, becasue well I have nothing better to do while I'm, at work. Are you sure this is the right woman for you? She seems a bit controlling, borderline psycho, with weak boundaries, and little respect for you. I think she is your first, right? Trust me man, there are many other fish in the sea and you do not have to get pussy whipped by the first one that lets you touch, smell and play with it. Just sayin.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Lol you're actually not too far off. She has bizarre fantasies and requests. I don't want to list them because I would be embarrassed for her but... sheesh. It does not alter mine, # of times a day is not a concern for me in a relationship. If both want to have sex 5 times a day, and can, go for it. It's happened to me many times. I personally would not say "Baby, we've done it 2 times already". Sexual compatability: I'd be ready to go again if she was! I think this boils down to the OP being afraid to express his needs and define boundaries, cause well, look at what he is dating. There could be some sexual compatible issues too. She is sexaully messed up, he is not! Just kidding, kind of.
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Are you taking into account that they had already had sex twice that day? Does that alter your opinion in any way? Yes, I took that into account & no it doesn't alter my opinion. In my original reply I did say that I thought the OP & this woman were sexually incompatible because she clearly has a higher sex drive then he is willing to accommodate. That makes them a poor match for each other. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I don't know. What can I do? I would kick myself if I ended it and ended up alone for a year... You can't stay with somebody just because you are afraid to be alone. That's not fair to anybody including you. Remember, you have now had the experience of asking a woman out. You can do it again. Besides more sex then you can handle & the status of having a hot GF, what, exactly, are you getting out of this relationship? You don't have to tell us, but you better know the answer. 1
Author Medium.Lumo Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 It's cool... I can tell you. Someone to share life with. I even enjoy doing stuff with her I wouldn't on my own, like shopping for clothes and crap. We have fun together. I can forgive her oddities. I just need help dealing with them which is why I post here. You can't stay with somebody just because you are afraid to be alone. That's not fair to anybody including you. Remember, you have now had the experience of asking a woman out. You can do it again. Besides more sex then you can handle & the status of having a hot GF, what, exactly, are you getting out of this relationship? You don't have to tell us, but you better know the answer.
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 This is the first time she's stormed out of the room though. I didn't like that. I don't know. What can I do? I would kick myself if I ended it and ended up alone for a year... Talk to her, tell her how it made you feel; talk about a compromise for the next time this happens, because, it will happen again. Walking Dead comes on every Sunday night!
clia Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Thanks so much for your input man I know she's not perfect now... For a long time when we were just friends I thought she was. Are our issues worse than any other couple? I don't know. I'm just too inexperienced. But I can tell you one thing. My brother is divorced and his wife was horrible. Treated him very badly. Even with my girlfriend's issues she is far better than my brother's ex wife. According to your posting history, you have been dating her for approximately one month. In that time, she has moved into your apartment, drives your car, messes up your apartment and car, and her behavior has been incredibly selfish in a variety of ways. So, in my opinion, for a one month long relationship, yes, your issues are worse than most couples. 3
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 It's cool... I can tell you. Someone to share life with. I even enjoy doing stuff with her I wouldn't on my own, like shopping for clothes and crap. We have fun together. I can forgive her oddities. I just need help dealing with them which is why I post here. Be careful my friend. You ARE sounding a bit codependent and downplaying these "issues" by using your brother as an example of what a real issue is. Enjoy the hot sex, and her. My best guess is this is not going to end well, just be prepared.
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 according to your posting history, you have been dating her for approximately one month. In that time, she has moved into your apartment, drives your car, messes up your apartment and car, and her behavior has been incredibly selfish in a variety of ways. So, in my opinion, for a one month long relationship, yes, your issues are worse than most couples. bbbiiiinnngggooo! 2
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 OP, I was beyond pussy whipped with my first. That woman treated me like **** and I sat there and said "more please". I remember after she broke up with me I sent her all these hand written letters apologixing, pleading, you name it (this was before the internet). She invited me over, I was thinking "Yay, 2nd chance". Well, we talked in her back yard and she burned all of the letters in front of me. Yeah, dumb move, right? Well I still hung around for another few months. I was whipped, bad. Just be careful man, keep your eyes open, take care of your needs, and have respect for yourself. Don't compare yourself to what you view as "even worse than her".
Smilecharmer Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Reading through all of your threads, I just want to make sure that you know that this much drama and entitlement in her part is not healthy and will end badly. When she does things like this, uses you for sex or your car or your apartment or insists on getting oral when she is on her period, it erodes your self esteem whether you know it right now or not. It is happening...so when she breaks up with you and goes on her merry way because girls like this can't stay happy for long, your next relationship will be conditioned by this one. You will allow yourself to be treated poorly and wonder why women are this way...when you will attract women like this by your lack of boundaries and self respect. This girl who has only been with you one month has done more damage by a million than my husband who I have been with for two decades. This is so sad to see you so eager to please and her so eager to use you and take advantage of it because of your naïveté. 3
Chocolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 ML, pretty soon you are going to need your own sub-forum for all your posts about this girl! More seriously - why keep posting when you ignore what everyone has to say? 2
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 ML, pretty soon you are going to need your own sub-forum for all your posts about this girl! More seriously - why keep posting when you ignore what everyone has to say? Hmmm, reminds me of a certain poster when HE was in a effed up relationship last year....Hmmmm, who could that be? BTW, your Avatar, it's Mr Hanky! I laugh everytime I see it. 1
lollipopspot Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I would kick myself if I ended it and ended up alone for a year... I'll go against the grain and say that this is something to seriously consider. I've read so many posts on here from guys desperate to find an attractive woman to have sex with. You have one. If you are someone who can date fairly easily, then maybe think about ending this if you can't work out some of your issues with her. If this is really a fluke for you to be with someone, then you may need to be more accepting of imperfection than one might otherwise like. This is my advice because I also look at my own relationships with this lens. I have a good friend who is very selfish, and not there for me when I most need her. But I enjoy some things about her and I consciously put up with a lot of crap from her because I determine that the **** is worth the benefit, and it's not that easy for me to make friends at this point in my life. I can't have all in this friend, but what I get is enough. Despite what they might say, there are some guys who would put up with plenty of **** to have a regular, attractive sex partner. So maybe it's worth it, maybe not, you decide. But it's not always possible to get all of your needs met, and still have the relationships that you want to have. Everyone draws the line for what they are willing to accept in a different place, and not every relationship needs to be perfect. 3
Chocolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 BTW, your Avatar, it's Mr Hanky! I laugh everytime I see it. This is the second time you've said this. Who the heck is Mr. Hanky and why does he look like my sexy dark-chocolate covered strawberry? 2
Chocolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Listen to at least some of this threads (any threads) advice, or maybe just bottle up all the daily issues and just make one weekly post. Easier to navigate that way. I suggested he have his own sub-forum. 1
Omei Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 (edited) In my personal experience, this has been the norm when rejecting a woman for sex. She freaks out, takes it personally, and starts a fight. I hope not all women are like this, because the experiences I have show me that they are. No, we're not dont worry In good relationships all you have to say is not now baby im not in the mood, us logical women realize that doesn't mean we're not sexy or they mean never again. When you're not one bit horny and being forced to have sex can be a real chore and we as women can feel this way also. Edited April 24, 2014 by Omei 7
Keenly Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 No, we're not dont worry In good relationships all you have to say is not now baby im not in the mood, us logical women realize that doesn't mean we're not sexy or they mean never again. When you're not one bit horny and being forced to have sex can be a real chore and we as women can feel this way also. Thank god, and I agree its a chore. The situation I was faced with that comes to mind is I wasn't in the mood, tired from a long day at work, and she was going right along with her borderline abusive behavior of starting a huge fight the previous day, and then acting like nothing happened and everything was hunky dory the next day. I didn't want to have sex, she freaked out on me. I said fine, but couldn't perform because I was pissed, frustrated, and less than turned on. Here come her self esteem issues causing another fight about how obviously she doesn't turn me on and she said that's my body telling her that I think she's ugly and all kinds of irrational BS. So thank you for easing my concerns.
Grumpybutfun Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Thank god, and I agree its a chore. The situation I was faced with that comes to mind is I wasn't in the mood, tired from a long day at work, and she was going right along with her borderline abusive behavior of starting a huge fight the previous day, and then acting like nothing happened and everything was hunky dory the next day. I didn't want to have sex, she freaked out on me. I said fine, but couldn't perform because I was pissed, frustrated, and less than turned on. Here come her self esteem issues causing another fight about how obviously she doesn't turn me on and she said that's my body telling her that I think she's ugly and all kinds of irrational BS. So thank you for easing my concerns. Sounds like she needs others to fix her and validate her. Self esteem issues can't be worked out by someone else so she will never be in a good place to have a healthy relationship until she fixes it on her own. Good thing she is your ex so you don't have to deal with the crazy making drama. G
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 This is the second time you've said this. Who the heck is Mr. Hanky and why does he look like my sexy dark-chocolate covered strawberry? Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia 4
Babolat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Thank god, and I agree its a chore. The situation I was faced with that comes to mind is I wasn't in the mood, tired from a long day at work, and she was going right along with her borderline abusive behavior of starting a huge fight the previous day, and then acting like nothing happened and everything was hunky dory the next day. I didn't want to have sex, she freaked out on me. I said fine, but couldn't perform because I was pissed, frustrated, and less than turned on. Here come her self esteem issues causing another fight about how obviously she doesn't turn me on and she said that's my body telling her that I think she's ugly and all kinds of irrational BS. So thank you for easing my concerns. Reminds me of one of the last nights I spent with my ex gf. We had our first, and last, blow up argument ever that night. After a long timeout we were better, nothing resolved though. She spent the night, was all cuddly, rubbing me and such and I just wanted to be left alone.
Candy_Pants Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 No, we're not dont worry In good relationships all you have to say is not now baby im not in the mood, us logical women realize that doesn't mean we're not sexy or they mean never again. When you're not one bit horny and being forced to have sex can be a real chore and we as women can feel this way also. And some logical women used to be immature and inconsiderate (me). Then again he was lying about porn, and playing video games/smoking weed constantly. Kinda like a "which came first" situation . 1
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