Mary Oak Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 So... My ex and i broke up 21 months ago. We transfered all property etc. We have one joint checking account that was used for bills still open. I left her name on it at the beginning because I told her that if she ever needed money, it would be there, and to just replace it. Well, I am WAY past feeling the need to do this for her anymore. So, I contacted the bank to get her name off the account. Seems like to do this, I have to have her sign and notarize the form they send. Thing is I am 35 days no contact, and I don't want to talk to her in any sense. I have to email her at times because we work together, but that is it. I don't want to contact her, especially to bring this up, because it still has a similiance to our relationship. So, what do I do? Do I contact her or wait a few more months until I am healed more. Don't want this to be a setback for me.
anne1707 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Email her and get it sorted. By having the joint account, you are still stuck in the past. Get your clean break asap so you can do absolute NC.
Author Mary Oak Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 I know this seems like such a pettty thing to even address. But, I really don't want to rock the boat right now. I have been terrbile at the no contact for a long time, ans this time I am actually ok with it. I am really scared that contacting her for anything is going to take me back to day 1.
mammasita Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Why dont you have the bank send the form directly to her? I'm sure she can figure out what's going on, no?
RonaldS Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Why not just take your name off the account? You don't need her authorization to do that. If there's money in there, take your half out and have the bank remove your name. Obviously, email your XW to tell her what's going on (after you withdraw the $$$, of course).
joanofark Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 open a new account in just your name using the funds from the joined account.
Author Mary Oak Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 I really don't want to open a new account. I thought of that, but I want to have the account history. I think I am going to just fill out my portion of the paperwork then email it to her to fill out. It will be a couple of days before i get the paperwork, so I will be even stronger then. I know I just need to suck it up and handle it. It is just that since I haven't talk to her in so long, I don't want her to think I am doing this out of spite. I am not. I know it shouldn't matter what she thinks, but we always try to be respectful and kind to each other.
Emilia Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I really don't want to open a new account. I thought of that, but I want to have the account history. I think you can have that history if you stay with the same bank.
dumped2013 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Just close the account and open one in just your name.
RonaldS Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I think you can have that history if you stay with the same bank. Exactly. There will be no impact on you from a history or credit perspective if you just take your name off an old account and open up a new one. It will take about 15 minutes, and then you're done. It's a checking account, not a Black Am Ex account.
RonaldS Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Just close the account and open one in just your name. He (she? Mary Oak?) can't close a joint account w/o her signature. But he/she can have his/her name removed.
iris219 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 You will need to move the money to another account with just your name on it. Do it fast. My FI was in a similar situation with his ex. He kept her name on the joint account AFTER he gave her half. She promised not to touch what was left but refused to take her name off of it. She hadn't contributed to the account in over year. Yes, it was very stupid on his part. One day, she decided to withdraw thousands of dollars and there was nothing he could do about it.
Author Mary Oak Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Both females.. sorry for the confusion.. lol Yeah, just talked to the bank and they said I would need her signature to close the account as well.
iris219 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Both females.. sorry for the confusion.. lol Yeah, just talked to the bank and they said I would need her signature to close the account as well. Find out if there are fees for having an empty account. There wasn't for my FI. Technically, there is still an account out there with his name and his ex's name on it with nothing in it.
RonaldS Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Both females.. sorry for the confusion.. lol Yeah, just talked to the bank and they said I would need her signature to close the account as well. You don't have to close it. Just sign the same stuff they were saying your ex would have to sign and have your name removed from the account. Then open up a new one. Easy breezy.
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