JohnnyLoverBoy Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Hi everyone! I don't log in on here anymore because I am currently busy living my life but wanted to give back to this wonderful community.. If you are reading this and just went through a break up. please listen to me carefully. Me and fiance of 2years broke up last October of 2013.. It's the hardest thing I went through in my life.. I went depress, sad, shattered to pieces, Thought my life is a waste and That's why I found this wonderful forum. Fast forward now.. I am happy as ever being single!!!! I wanted to share things that I did to move on with my life with this 7 months period and I want to help you people!! Before we start you should promise me to do what I tell you!! 1 - The most important of all!!! Stay away from social media!!!!! Either deactivate your account or remove your ex. If you see your ex posting in facebook/instagram like there are the happiest people in the world after break up.. you are wrong!! That's what my ex did. when we broke up she is like the QUEEN of world.. Posting everything she is doing.. She's going clubbing, bars, vacations and Now I heard from a friend that she is feeling miserable and depress about the break up. This is 6months later... They do this things to cover up the feeling of loss. But in reality after some time they need to deal with the break up That's why If you stay no contact and just start to live your life. They will deal with the break up the hard way when their "FUN" is over and you are not there for them.. 2- The second step that I did is to REMOVE everything that remind you of her. Gifts,Clothes,Jewelries,Pictures,Picture Frames, Videos and Home items and more!! If you have a box put it all in there!! I even put the pillow she is using when she stays at my place in a box... If you have a USB put all the pictures and videos in there and put the USB in the box too. This is really helpful trust me!! 3- Remove any form of way that she can contact you! Remove her number / change your cell number Remove her in all social media. It's good to say "I finally moving on with my life!" This is an important step as you are not worrying if she gonna contact you or not!.. 4 - The fourth thing that I did is to focus on "Myself" This is very important. Have some goals! Right now my goal is to make $200,000 a year and to have the car that I really want!! That's where my focus is! Either your goal is to have a successful life or to lose weight DO IT!!! 5 - Stop caring what they are doing!! Very important! you must be making plans of your own!! Not thinking what is your ex is doing.. It's time consuming and it's a waste of time. 6 - STAY QUITE!!! That means No Contact not on any form.. Birthday, Christmas, New Year or whatever it is!! You need to trust me you can't contact her with any form!! Being Quite is the best thing in the world!! 7 - LEARN TO FORGIVE AND BE THANKFUL! Either she broke up with you, They cheated on you, Things didn't work out.. It's very important to forgive them and be the better person!! Understand that if a person wants to go. Let them go! Don't blame yourself or anyone. My Final words: I know what you are thinking! It's very hard right now.. you are shattered to pieces. You miss her, you want her/him back.. I went through this before. It's ok to feel this way. but after sometime You need to realize that It's time to move on and you are the PRIZE!!! Not them!! If they don't wanna be with you it's ok.. In certain time of our life we face this challenges to makes us better in the future!!! It's okay if there is a time when you think about your EX! when this happen don't let it bother you for more than 5min! and get back focusing on your goal!! Ok I hope people here will not just read this stuff and actually apply this in your life!! I wasted almost 30min of my life writing this hehehe! Guys Be happy! there is no forever in life!.. eventually you will find someone that will make you happy and you won't make the same mistakes as before.. Ok I will go back to working on my goals now! take care guys! 35
chris21422 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 this are some good advice.. sadly most people here will not follow your advice. but this are the steps you need to do to really move on.
Sasukie Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Thank you for your post, I'm at 6 months, busy with work but have fuzzy feelings, maybe I long for a gf ("not my ex").. Ahh...need to be comfortable being alone for another while. Your post was a good read.
witmadskilllz Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 TY OP! Reading something like this from time to time helps a lot, a constant reminder is needed imo. Hope all is well and wish everyone the best of luck who's going through this as I am too. Stay strong, and stay nc! 1
Summerrose2013 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Thank you for your great words, is there some way to pin up this post so it doesn't vanish! I'm going to print it out. I love the idea of putting everything in a box. I wish I could change my phone number. You are so right that you get nervous thinking they will contact you! But I do animal work so I can't' change it. You are an inspiration - stay strong and TY again
learning_slowly Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I have to agree, you are great to come back and let everybody know that life goes on and can be awesome again. All the best.
erklat Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Shutting Facebook down and changing my number helped me a lot. You stop having these false expectations she will contact you when you know she is unable to do so either way.
jphcbpa Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 great post and all of it is the way to go. NC is a sweet blessing, but the hardest/longest walk at times. are you dating again? if so, share more around that.
Author JohnnyLoverBoy Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 Hi everyone!! I just wanted to update this thread and say to all of you that I am currently In a new relationship with a wonderful girl!! She's very beautiful blonde also kind and caring!! what more could I ask for?? Before I though I'm never going find someone better than my ex.. but I'm so wrong. My advice to all of you if your going through a break up is Don't rush into new relationship right away.. instead reflect on yourself and improve yourself as a person. Make yourself better in so many ways... If you are having a hard time right now.. That's ok but always tell yourself that if a person who doesn't wanna be with you it's their loss not yours.. Always tell yourself that you can move on because you are a strong person!! I am now thankful to my ex because I'm never gonna be this new improve man if we didn't broke up. I learned lot of things through her even though we broke up. This time I won't make the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.. I hope everyone here will soon find your true love! We all deserve that.. Alright guys this might be my final post on this site! thank you everyone that help me here through good and bad times!! great post and all of it is the way to go. NC is a sweet blessing, but the hardest/longest walk at times. are you dating again? if so, share more around that. 1
orangetree Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Thanks for the thread, I totally agree, my ex and I broke up ten days ago and I deleted his number and removed everything that reminds me of him. It still hurts. There is a thing that I don't agree with though- Why is everyone always saying "Eventually you will find that person that loves you the way you are and that wants to stay with you for the rest of your life?" For me, this is jet positive thinking. What if you never meet that person? I'm "only" 26, but I'm already doubting I will ever meet that person. Maybe I will, maybe not. Who knows. I don't think there is a happy end of everyone.
chris21422 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 The happy end is just not finding someone that you'll be happy for the rest of your life. It's also moving on with the past relationship and being happy without your ex. also with that mentality you can't really find someone. It's just means your not ready for a relationship this time cause you are not fully healed. Thanks for the thread, I totally agree, my ex and I broke up ten days ago and I deleted his number and removed everything that reminds me of him. It still hurts. There is a thing that I don't agree with though- Why is everyone always saying "Eventually you will find that person that loves you the way you are and that wants to stay with you for the rest of your life?" For me, this is jet positive thinking. What if you never meet that person? I'm "only" 26, but I'm already doubting I will ever meet that person. Maybe I will, maybe not. Who knows. I don't think there is a happy end of everyone.
orangetree Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 The happy end is just not finding someone that you'll be happy for the rest of your life. It's also moving on with the past relationship and being happy without your ex. also with that mentality you can't really find someone. It's just means your not ready for a relationship this time cause you are not fully healed. You got me wrong- I'm not saying having a happy end means to find someone to be happy with forever. I'm just saying that many people here make it look like as if everyone in this world will eventually find the perfect person to be with for the rest of their lives. And I don't think that's realistic for everyone.
ponchsox Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Going after ex's is like a drug. You want to feel good for a brief moment and then experience the roller coaster of negative emotions that follow. 3
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