Elle1975 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 I am not sure what's up with me today.. I have been seemingly mad all day when I look back at his behavior before and during the break up. I'm also missing him today. And I'm missing his dog. And a couple of friends that I had grown attached to. I almost checked see if he was on his old dating site a minute ago. What's the heck is going on today. I need a reminder of why it's a terrible idea.
malin819 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 I'm in the same boat Ex dumped me once again (yes its been a few times) last Wednesday by txt and I started NC saturday night. I also blocked her off everywhere (Facebook, Snapchat) and deleted all her friends that I had. Do this..it will hurt the first few days but you'll longer care after while and see its for the better. When I was checking her Snapchat or facebook I always back at square...learn to let go since you have your life to live now. Why live in the past and stalk someone?
zen2475 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Because it's only going to trigger you and make you feel worse. Moreover, what if there is something on there you don't want to see? Focusing on him will not help you heal. Please just focus on yourself and what makes you happy. I know too well what you are going through and what the temptation feels like. Anger and missing him are all part of the mish mash of emotions that are part of grieving. During these times, you need to nurture and love yourself. Checking up on him will not help you do that.
Author Elle1975 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Posted April 23, 2014 I'm in the same boat Ex dumped me once again (yes its been a few times) last Wednesday by txt and I started NC saturday night. I also blocked her off everywhere (Facebook, Snapchat) and deleted all her friends that I had. Do this..it will hurt the first few days but you'll longer care after while and see its for the better. When I was checking her Snapchat or facebook I always back at square...learn to let go since you have your life to live now. Why live in the past and stalk someone? I am already in No contact. It's not the issue.
malin819 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Because it's only going to trigger you and make you feel worse. Moreover, what if there is something on there you don't want to see? Focusing on him will not help you heal. Please just focus on yourself and what makes you happy. I know too well what you are going through and what the temptation feels like. Anger and missing him are all part of the mish mash of emotions that are part of grieving. During these times, you need to nurture and love yourself. Checking up on him will not help you do that. yep...what you don't know can't hurt you right? 1
tlegend Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 I am not sure what's up with me today.. I have been seemingly mad all day when I look back at his behavior before and during the break up. I'm also missing him today. And I'm missing his dog. And a couple of friends that I had grown attached to. I almost checked see if he was on his old dating site a minute ago. What's the heck is going on today. I need a reminder of why it's a terrible idea. How's work going for you? Hows your living situation? Any new hobbies you have tried out? Have you been going to the gym? What kind of movies are coming out that you really want to see? Answer some of these questions, then remind yourself, your life is YOURS. Do with it what you will, including thinking about your ex, which I highly recommend you replace with one of the aforementioned thoughts. 2
Author Elle1975 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Posted April 23, 2014 Because it's only going to trigger you and make you feel worse. Moreover, what if there is something on there you don't want to see? Focusing on him will not help you heal. Please just focus on yourself and what makes you happy. I know too well what you are going through and what the temptation feels like. Anger and missing him are all part of the mish mash of emotions that are part of grieving. During these times, you need to nurture and love yourself. Checking up on him will not help you do that. I'd feel terrible, that's for sure. And I don't want to look at his picture either. I think today's trigger was this guy at work who hits on me, for sex only I can tell. It just made me think about my ex because he treated me so well, at least during most of the relationship. All of a sudden I felt like a piece of meat. And I started looking back on the year that I spent with my ex. Blah. I am going to finish my homework and go play Diablo 3 (yes yes.. I play video games.. I like it ). I have joined a cool clan and it actually takes things off my mind great. 1
Author Elle1975 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Posted April 23, 2014 How's work going for you? Actually good. I'm quick to get back on my feet and I adopt the F the F'er kind of attitude. It pulls me forward. Hows your living situation? Thank god I have never had to deal with the "my ex kicked me out" kind of situation. I have always been very independent and working. Any new hobbies you have tried out? I have yet to get myself to the YMCA. Will do on Friday. I did join a clan in D3. I have always liked to relax in front of my PC, playing. Have you been going to the gym? That's the plan What kind of movies are coming out that you really want to see? Godzilla! Of course! Answer some of these questions, then remind yourself, your life is YOURS. Do with it what you will, including thinking about your ex, which I highly recommend you replace with one of the aforementioned thoughts. I use a thought blocking technique.. usually. I visualize myself at the dog park, it's early in the morning, 7am or so, and I am reading my book. It works well for me. And I know what happened shouldn't reflect on my sense of self-worth. Today for some reason I felt fooled and alone.
tlegend Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Actually good. I'm quick to get back on my feet and I adopt the F the F'er kind of attitude. It pulls me forward. Thank god I have never had to deal with the "my ex kicked me out" kind of situation. I have always been very independent and working. I have yet to get myself to the YMCA. Will do on Friday. I did join a clan in D3. I have always liked to relax in front of my PC, playing. That's the plan Godzilla! Of course! I use a thought blocking technique.. usually. I visualize myself at the dog park, it's early in the morning, 7am or so, and I am reading my book. It works well for me. And I know what happened shouldn't reflect on my sense of self-worth. Today for some reason I felt fooled and alone. I'm not much of a spiritual person, I definitely am working on that part of me though. With that being said, with God in your life, you are never alone! (Cheesy...but it's true..) Do not let this feeling overcome who you are. This was an experience with him, one that will teach you valuable lessons for the rest of your life. But, in order to learn those lessons, you have to be able to move on from studying this failed relationship emotionally, and truly see it objectively. Best of luck to you!
Author Elle1975 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Posted April 23, 2014 I'm not much of a spiritual person, I definitely am working on that part of me though. With that being said, with God in your life, you are never alone! (Cheesy...but it's true..) Do not let this feeling overcome who you are. This was an experience with him, one that will teach you valuable lessons for the rest of your life. But, in order to learn those lessons, you have to be able to move on from studying this failed relationship emotionally, and truly see it objectively. Best of luck to you! Absolutely. I had a bunch of people telling me not to change, when I mentioned I had make a few mistakes. I don't intend on changing, but I did ignore a few bells, a couple red flags, or simply ignored what I really wanted to do; I sometimes should have gone home instead of sleeping over. Not because I wanted to play a silly game, just because I wanted to and didn't. I like saying "live and learn" and that too often people forget about the learning process. They do the same mistakes over and over .. Not to say that I am flawless.. but I do to learn from my mistakes. However, just because I adjust my behavior doesn't mean I get it right afterward. It's sometimes a process of trials and errors. It can get discouraging.
na49 Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 If you want to check it, go ahead. The urge will most likely pass if you can handle it, but sometimes you need to touch the fire to know it's hot. Maybe seeing something on his profile will be what you need to spring you forward. Of course you'll probably feel a rush when you check, and you'll want to check again in a week. Then you need to get your self control back and not do it.
Author Elle1975 Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 I didn't do it. I went and took a nap instead. I had a super weird dream.. In my dream I discover I have another sister, from Canada.. then, still dreaming, it hits me that I haven't seen my ex for a few week ends (only been one actually..) and I find it odd and.. unsettling. I woke up, remembered we had broken up, and went on to play some D3!
Author Elle1975 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Today I looked at my calendar. In the back of my mind I knew how long it had been. I was sad when I counted 7 weeks. It's 7 weeks without you, and 7 weeks of me trying to get back in track. I know the layout of your house. I can see my aloe plant sitting on yout kitchen counter, snugged in that cute plaster flowerpot I had gotten on sale at the end of the season. I wish I had taken my plant with me. I had it for four years. I still miss Zeus. I can still hear him gnawing at his bone while trying to watch TV. I used to find the sound of it to be so annoying. I know he is getting old, and I feel sad thinking about it. I also feel sad knowing I have no right to see him. He is your dog, and I was just passing by. Still, is dog years, wasn't it quite a few years spent together? I can hear a lot of people saying that love is unconditional. When I think about unconditional love, I vision a mother, or a sibling. I know love and relationships are conditional. Even though I'd like you back in my life, I know I couldn't allow you back in. See, when you made the choice of walking away, you made me take the very same choice. That's not what I wanted, and I still wish you could turn your decision around. However, I know in my heart that I could never have the same level of trust. Trust is everything. So here I am, 7 weeks later. I'm left with no other choice but moving on. Believe me when I say it's no fun. I am not sure what happened to most men between the day I met you and the day you left me, but they all look so out of shape and old. It's depressing. Calm down now.. I never said your were an Adonis. Remember, love is blind. Ha.. you deserve this one. Anyway. I don't believe you just forgot about me. You're just moving on too, probably with more speed and less regrets. Cheater, you had a head start. I can't blame you. I can only envy you. Hopefully there is a guy out there for me. If you ever feel like giving me my plant back, just shoot me a couple lines in an email. I don't need a novel, just which day of the week. Put it on your front door, and I'll come pick it up while you're at work. 2
BC1980 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I am not sure what's up with me today.. I have been seemingly mad all day when I look back at his behavior before and during the break up. I'm also missing him today. And I'm missing his dog. And a couple of friends that I had grown attached to. I almost checked see if he was on his old dating site a minute ago. What's the heck is going on today. I need a reminder of why it's a terrible idea. It's the grief. It's a roller coaster. You have to sit with the grief and work your way through the emotions. Looking at his profile does nothing to help you work through the grief. 1
bulldogz Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 Even though I'd like you back in my life, I know I couldn't allow you back in. So you'd like him back in your life, but you wouldn't allow him back in?
jbelle6 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I am already in No contact. It's not the issue. But if you stalk him online you will no longer be in no contact, and that IS the issue. Please don't do it.
Author Elle1975 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 But if you stalk him online you will no longer be in no contact, and that IS the issue. Please don't do it. It's old news. I just used an old post to write to him.
Ordinaryday Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I thought about checking my exes fb profile but stopped when I realised how much it would depress me if I saw photos of her with another guy, kissing and stuff. ignorance is bliss.
Author Elle1975 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 I thought about checking my exes fb profile but stopped when I realised how much it would depress me if I saw photos of her with another guy, kissing and stuff. ignorance is bliss. Yeah.. it's just an old post I used to write. Since I have been Nc 7 weeks. I probably should have started a new thread. Just didn't want to cluter the forum.
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