JoL Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Ok, so I'm curious guys..i've thought about this for a while and wonder when a guy approaches a girl in a club, what is it usually based on? I have been single for a little while now after a bad break up, and i've been going out with friends and having an overall great time. Ive been approached by a fair number of guys, some friendly, some sleazy..and i was wondering, when a guy approaches a girl in a club, or just starts to dance with her..what is usually based on? If she seems approachable? how attractive/sexy she is? how drunk/easy she looks? or some other reason? I have some friends, pretty girls who never get approached..ive wondered if it is because of the fact that they dont dance and generally dont look that "into" it. So guys, when you talk/approach/dance with a girl in a club, what is it based on??
alphamale Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by JoL If she seems approachable? how attractive/sexy she is? how drunk/easy she looks? or some other reason? all of the above
newbie Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 OOO, thats a really good post, COME ON GUYS, LET US KNOW! Sorry this isnt a reply as such...
Hund1976 Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 It depends on the guy, my one friend gets drunk and goes up to every girl he finds attractive until one of them shows some interest in him. Other people who are more shy probably only go up to a girl that is looking at him. I would say I'm more likely to approach a girl by herself or with only one or two friends as opposed to a large group. And also if girl smiles at me or says hi that would also help.
Spira Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Club guys. Yuck. In the days where I used to hang out at the regular clubs (read: non-goth clubs), I never would have wasted my time with one of these guys who went to those kinds of places. The place is a meat market, and most of the men are there just trying to pick a girl up, take a girl home, grind a girl's backside, or get a girl's number. They are vultures all swooping in for the kill and they will take whatever they can get. They will randomly come up behind you and start dancing (read: humping) without asking, without even the garauntee that you will get to see their face first. All these guys are trying to do is get in someone's pants. There is no discrimination - anyone will do. I think a club is a horrible place to meet someone. However. It may be different in *your* club scene. In the goth club scene, this kind of behavior is not acceptable & looked down upon. Thank god, because it disgusts me.
Pocky Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 If I remember correctly, the more messed up I looked (alcohol, drugs) the more men hit on me.
alphamale Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky If I remember correctly, the more messed up I looked (alcohol, drugs) the more men hit on me. come on POCKY, when u get hammered you think the bar stool is trying to take u home!
Pocky Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale come on POCKY, when u get hammered you think the bar stool is trying to take u home! HAH! They have stools at clubs? Huh! Imagine that. I never noticed - I was either in the bathroom puking or passed out on a couch.
kanga Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by Spira Club guys. Yuck. There is no discrimination - anyone will do. I think a club is a horrible place to meet someone. There's been only guy I've met at a club who I actually wanted to continue seeing after the night ended. And was not very drunk. Sadly, most guys are sloppy drunks and way too aggressive. I dance with them, I have fun while there, I've even kissed a few times. But I never take them seriously. Especially as soon as "I want to go home together" is mentioned. HA! Right. OK. Not going to happen. I have tons of fun at clubs and bars, but I never trust a soul I meet.
alphamale Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by kanga There's been only guy I've met at a club who I actually wanted to continue seeing after the night ended. And was not very drunk. Sadly, most guys are sloppy drunks and way too aggressive. I dance with them, I have fun while there, I've even kissed a few times. But I never take them seriously. Especially as soon as "I want to go home together" is mentioned. HA! Right. OK. Not going to happen. I have tons of fun at clubs and bars, but I never trust a soul I meet. Let me explain why this happens KANGA. OK, here goes..... Who do you see in the clubs? What is the age range? FOr the popular hot spots the avg age is like 25 or 26, if that. These young folk (present company excluded) are basically morons who have little if no life experience and they THINK they know everything. Throw a little bit of alcohol into the mix and you have a bar full of immature 20-somethings who don't have a clue about anything. Now if you go to a nice upscale place where older folks hang out it is a bit different and more subdued and classy. I can't even walk into a club or bar where the avg age is under 30 anymore cause it is just plain annoying to see all the childish activities that go on.
emopunk Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 When I clubbed... hoo... I don't remember a whole lot. My friends said I would never really make an effort to pick up a girl, but then I just usually danced with my friends. Was never really into clubbing for women (how's that for sounding caveman?,) I was more interested in dancing. At my preferred clubs, jungle and house, you dont dance with anyone. Just you and the music. After I cleaned up and started being the driver, I'd find a girl with the DD bracelet and talk to her. Figured if she was sober, we might actually have a coherent conversation!
emopunk Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 ... wait we were talking about dance clubs, night clubs, or lounges?
blue17 Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 As a guy, I like clubs to have a good time. The music is good, you get to hang out with your friends....and hopefully freak with some attractive girls. I approach girls based on my perceived probability of getting a grind/freak with them, and on how fun/attractive they are. This is A LOT different than trying to get a quick lay. Just because I'm grinding with you doesn't mean I want to take you back to my place for some action. I just go to enjoy myself for some good/playful fun, and maybe meet some new ppl if the opportunity arises. I'm sure a lot of the girls feel the same way....they'll grind guys because it's all in good fun but don't want to take it any further than that.
Author JoL Posted February 5, 2005 Author Posted February 5, 2005 Ok, im not one for picking up strange boys in clubs either, in fact ive never even kissed a guy or given my number out in a club..but if i met an attractive, nice guy, i might! now that i am single, i was wondering what motivates most men in clubs, i was thinking about this after a night out with some girlfriends actually. I live in Sydney, Australia, most of the clubs i frequent are house/breaks funky clubs, quite upscale and nice..no dives or anything like that. But then you have the rnb clubs, raves, bars, pubs.. I have been to all of the above, but my preffered night out is at a house club. Anyway..i have been approached by the out-for-sex-backpacking tourist, the drunk sleazy guy, the shy-but-interested guy, the im-so-drugf*cked-im-dancing-with-the-whole-club-guy, the i-dont-dance-so-i-have-random-conversations-guy, the-you-look-hot-dancing-im-going-to-try-to-grind-against-you (to which i run away to the other side of the dance floor to escape). Some nights i will talk to 10 different guys. other nights, perhaps only 1, or none! It depends on the crowd and the vibe of the place.
babybear Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Honestly - I think MOST (not all) guys in a club are just looking to score. Kiss, sex, grope, grind, whatever. They don't care that you brought your PRADA bag or your designer shoes - or your $400 halter top from Neiman Marcus. If you look half decent (and they're drunk so you probably look MORE than just half - decent) you go into their pool of eligible hook ups. I dont think its a science. Almost anything will do. Babybear
Mr Spock Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 I HATE being asked to dance by strangers in bars. Ugh. I don't want to see your lack of rhythm. Want to get to know me? Sit down and buy me a drink. I prefer to dance with girlfriends where I can have fun and not run the risk of being dry humped.
Merin Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 I hate it when I'm out dancing with my girlfriends at a club and some guy invites himself to my ass.. WTF is up with that?! When I go to clubs with my girls we go to get our drink on a little.. dance and have a good time. However, I've got to say that guys don't usually ever approach me.. they will sit there and look, smile.. but not say anything :shrugs:
blue17 Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Okay, then I have a question as well. Most of you girls say you don't like a guy just walking up behind and 'inviting himself to your ass' Fair enough, I can respect that. That being said, what WOULD make you freak w/ a guy? Do you only grind w/ guys whom you've talked to at least a little bit, so you know they are a decent person etc?
alphamale Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I hate it when I'm out dancing with my girlfriends at a club and some guy invites himself to my ass.. WTF is up with that?! When I go to clubs with my girls we go to get our drink on a little.. dance and have a good time. let me illuminate you women out there. Most men don't understand that women go to the bar/club to have fun and dance and drink. Many men think that if you are there you are single and available even if you have a ring on yer finger. Bars and clubs are a BUSINESS that make lots of $$$$$$. They like to create the illusion in men that they can show up and there'll be plenty of available pu$$y for the taking. This is so the dudes will show up and pay the high cover charge and buy grossly overpriced drinks. If you sit back and don't drink and just observe what is going on in one of those places very little "hooking up" is going on. What is usually happening is that drunk and below avg intelligence men are trying to get a ONS or the digits from a woman that is flirting with them just for the free drinks. SHe usually has a b/f or hubby at home. If you want to see stupid drunk men in action...go to the bar or klub.
ziggue Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 I've noticed a couple of times when I walk around the club by myself I seem to get hit on more then I would if I was hanging out with a couple of friends. It's funny how guys think they have more of a chance with you when you are on your own the with a big group. Now that I'm not single I just say no or I have a boyfriend. They get the hint and move on then. My friends and I go out to clubs to drink a little, dance and have a good time too. Even when some of them are single they don't neccesarily go there to pick up. Guys don't understand that sometimes.
Author JoL Posted February 5, 2005 Author Posted February 5, 2005 I MUCH prefer a guy coming up and starting a conversation rather than just iniviting himself to dance against me....ew! The only time ive ever been interested in a guy in a club was after i had about 1/2 hour of conversation with him and then he asked me if i would like to dance..he was a gentleman and i liked that! I think most guys do go to clubs hoping to pick up, wheras most girls just want to go out and have a good time...i agree. Although, i do notice random couples who i guarantee only just met, pashing in the corner..
brandon Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Its a real shame, but guys are out there in clubs for "Sexual" purposes. For the most part, a lot of them do have honerable intentions, and want to meet new people - romantically, but kissing, grinding, etc., just seems like the first logical step towards that...so some guys come off as sleazy...mind you some guys ARE looking for the one night stand, others arent. Just ignore them for a bit. If they leave, it means you were too much work/time, so they've moved on, in which case you wouldnt care anyways. If they're stilla round, they really see something they like in you.
babybear Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by blue17 Okay, then I have a question as well. Most of you girls say you don't like a guy just walking up behind and 'inviting himself to your ass' Fair enough, I can respect that. That being said, what WOULD make you freak w/ a guy? Do you only grind w/ guys whom you've talked to at least a little bit, so you know they are a decent person etc? I don't really mind the occasional guy asking me to dance, as long as he's not TOO up on me. I mean, you're out to have a good time, you got dolled up - having a guy acknowledge that you're looking good isnt the worst thing. I'll freak a guy every now and again, I mean - depends on what mood I'm in. I KNOW in my head they arent kissing me, taking me home, or getting my number...but if they're a good dancer, what the heck....I'm young, I only live once...I can't go to the clubs when I'm married. I'm goign out tonite, and now I am going to be thinking about this all nite!!! Babybear
babybear Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale What is usually happening is that drunk and below avg intelligence men are trying to get a ONS or the digits from a woman that is flirting with them just for the free drinks. SHe usually has a b/f or hubby at home. . Haha, right on! That is so funny and true. Bb
brandon Posted February 5, 2005 Posted February 5, 2005 Originally posted by ziggue It's funny how guys think they have more of a chance with you when you are on your own the with a big group. No, we're just afraid to approach you in large groups because isntead of looking like a looser infront of just you, we look like pretty silly being rejected infront for a crowd of people.
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