Keenly Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 But how can you prove they are low quality human beings? They could actually be nicer to more people than you are? the quantity of people I interact with has nothing to do with being a good person. I'm already pretty nice so.... being a good person is also not s competition. They could help more people out then you do? irrelevant to being a good person. A rapist can donate to charity. They could be loyal for 20 years like one of them has, which is longer than you have ever BEEN in a relationship for, so yeah, I am fairly sure that nude modelling chick is just as likely to REMAIN faithful as you are (to not cheat). irrelevant, also not a competition. And you do realise that the VAST majority do not consider a professional who has been loyal for 20 years to a husband and has supported him through the loss of many jobs, as "bad quality" simply cos she posed nude before for money. you speak for the majority now, do you? HOW does posing nude for money make her low quality? If she gives more to charity than you and she is a nicer and more giving person to more people than you then sorry, she is a better person than YOU. she is low quality because she sells her body for money. The women I watch in porn? I have zero respect for them. They are low quality to me. Also, again, bring a good person is not a competition, and being a giving person and being nice does not automatically make you a better person. People who are the kindest and give back the most to others are the best people in my eyes. in YOUR eyes,. Lest I be a hypocrite, I say you are entitled to think that. Someone who is very altruistic IS NEVER low quality. Generalization. Also untrue. Leigh.... what are you doing ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 As Keenly said, you cannot ask a question of opinion and then argue when people disagree with you. Everyone thinks differently. You may not feel like you are 'low quality' (whatever that even means), other people might think you are. You're probably not going to change their minds so why bother? If you're holding out for universal popularity, you're going to be waiting for a very, very long time. My whole point is: they simply don't have the actual facts and figures to measure people and prove a person is low quality. They say low quality but how? What are they doing on a day to DAY basis that is low quality? Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 My whole point is: they simply don't have the actual facts and figures to measure people and prove a person is low quality. They say low quality but how? What are they doing on a day to DAY basis that is low quality? So? Who are 'they'? Who are these people that you are so desperate to impress? I don't understand the purpose of this thread. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 My whole point is: they simply don't have the actual facts and figures to measure people and prove a person is low quality. They say low quality but how? What are they doing on a day to DAY basis that is low quality? But you do have that knowledge? You are making zero sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh.... what are you doing ? She sold her body for money 20 years ago once. She has not done it again since, she has never strayed on her partner and she has supported him financially during hard times. How is she still that low quality girl? You se, a truly nice person would see her for the good mother and wife she has been for 20 years. They wouldn't think " oh but she posed nude once or twice, therefore the current person she is being is no longer relevant. It doesn't make any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh, You judge yourself far more than anyone else could ever do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
white_bass87 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 My ex cheated on me with a former friend. I figured she had needs that weren't being met by me and went to my friend for other support. Funny thing is, shortly after I found out she was messing around, a lot of drama ensued that I could not have manufactured had I tried. I let it play at as it was suppose to. Her and my old "friend" broke it off shortly after and all the sudden she wasn't gettting any needs met. The messed up thing was, my former buddy had cheated on his ex as well and I think he was a little sociopathic and definately a complete narcisst. I really dont think he gave a sh*t what happened to either one of us. My ex cried and went on a text rampage appologizing for basically living on the fence and now she is probably scrambling to get anywhere. I got to the point where I don't care what happens to either one of them. My former friend's ex is now becoming a better "friend" all the sudden. To answer your question, was my ex low quality? No but, she messed up bad and I cannot stand to look at her, talk to her, or even think about being near her and I dont' want to fix anything for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 But you do have that knowledge? You are making zero sense. Doing a bad deed, such as selling your body for money, doesn't mean your day to day acts are low quality and in fact, these women who do this could very well be more intelligent than you and more empathetic and kind than you are? Doing one bad deed doesn't mean what you are doing for the vast majority of your life is also low quality. How can one be branded low quality, when the way in which they live their loves CURRENTLY is honourable? You are the sort of person who thinks "well, people screw up once, they will never be a decent quality person after that no matter how nice they are" ^^^^ That is called being judgmental and well, that isn't nice. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Some one who cheated on their last partner is capable of cheating on their next partner, and is therefore low quality, because who wants to have increased chances of getting their heart broken? Load of crap. Some people cheat once and feel so ****ty they never do it again. Also, there is absolutely nothing indicating the person who never cheated on a partner never will. You people are just throwing everyone in the same basket based one one bad decision. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 My whole point is: they simply don't have the actual facts and figures to measure people and prove a person is low quality. They say low quality but how? What are they doing on a day to DAY basis that is low quality? Wait..there are facts and figures that measure how good a person is? Who's in charge of said facts and figures and what can I bribe them with? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Wait..there are facts and figures that measure how good a person is? Who's in charge of said facts and figures and what can I bribe them with? I was brought up a certain way so it differs from person to person obviously. A good person to me of high quality: - a person who is nice to other people around them (who is nice to the weirdo in the office when no one else talks to them) - who is altruistic because they ENJOY helping others. Not to gain credit or get anything from it.. - a generous person with their time and money, will give you the clothes on their back and let you stay with them in their homes in times of need ( my two female friends I mentioned have both let friends in need stay with them in rough financial times) - a person with ambition to have a full time job. - a person who HAS NOT CHEATED since their first offences Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh, You judge yourself far more than anyone else could ever do. I think I am a lovely, nice person who is very generous. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Load of crap. Some people cheat once and feel so ****ty they never do it again. Also, there is absolutely nothing indicating the person who never cheated on a partner never will. You people are just throwing everyone in the same basket based one one bad decision. Load of crap? I said CAPABLE. I didn't say they were going to. The best predictor of the future is the past. I'm sorry if you disagree. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Doing a bad deed, such as selling your body for money, doesn't mean your day to day acts are low quality and in fact, these women who do this could very well be more intelligent than you and more empathetic and kind than you are? Doing one bad deed doesn't mean what you are doing for the vast majority of your life is also low quality. How can one be branded low quality, when the way in which they live their loves CURRENTLY is honourable? You are the sort of person who thinks "well, people screw up once, they will never be a decent quality person after that no matter how nice they are" ^^^^ That is called being judgmental and well, that isn't nice. How do you know what kind of person I am? Let's follow your logic. Catholic priest of 20 years, a holy man that loves god and gives to charity. He only molested 5 boys. He's a good person because he hasn't molested in 10 years..... right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh, you're missing the point. You don't get to decide how other people feel about each other. End of story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Load of crap? I said CAPABLE. I didn't say they were going to. The best predictor of the future is the past. I'm sorry if you disagree. LOLZ. Right. So yeah, I was in long term R's my entire dating life, or I went without sex inbetween relationships. I was like this for 8 years. For less than one year I slept around due to psychological trauma I went though. I used sex as a means to self harm, I had intensive therapy for it because sleeping around is not natural or enjoyable for me. So you are telling me that something that traumatized me (spreading my legs for a man I am not in love with scares me and terrifies me), is something I will LIKELY do again?/?/ What planet are you living on man.... I wouldn't repeat a behaviour that I vehemently detested and had to seek out therapy for:sick: Plus you seem to overlook the fact I was loyal and monogamous and never slept around at all for 8 years, and only slept around for less than one year. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I can't be a part of an irrational and illogical conversation. Especially one where my words are twisted and people are just making up things I never said. I mean half the time you respond to me, you respond to things I've never said. You are getting defensive when I never said anything about you as a person. I hope you find whatever answer you are looking for. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 People who cheat aren't necessarily bad people... They're bad people to their spouses. Former prostitutes aren't necessarily bad people... Unless they have a personality disorder. Does that mean you should paint everyone with the same brush? I'm prejudiced when it comes to my relationships that I've experienced. How I regard potential dates is my own responsibility and not some universal metric to be shilled out. We generalize as a way of looking after ourselves. You only need to be mauled by a bear once to realize that bears are bad news. Don't pet the bears. ... I'm starting to understand why everybody thought the OP was convincing herself about something. This discussion has been twisted around into being all about her with that last reply... I hope everyone else understands what a precursor is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 There's a couple of concepts here you are missing. 1) Noble acts don't cancel out the poor choices you made earlier. As good and wonderful as you are from this point on, if you gives blood daily, Move to Africa to feed starving children and run into every burning building you see to save ferrets and goldfish it doesn't discount a bad behavior you had in the past. Life isn't a checks and balance sheet where you keep a Karmic score of "Oh I did two good deeds today so I'm one ahead of the one sin I committed yesterday." 2) Yes you can be a better person than you are during a short period of your life if you compare it only to yourself, but if you compare to the myriad women who have never had a slutty phase who have never cheated on anybody then it doesn't work. One noble act cannot cancel poor choices from the past, yet one poor choice will cancel 1000 noble acts... Seriously, no one here has never made a poor choice. Stop being so uptight people! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 How do you know what kind of person I am? Let's follow your logic. Catholic priest of 20 years, a holy man that loves god and gives to charity. He only molested 5 boys. He's a good person because he hasn't molested in 10 years..... right? I have no idea the sort of person you are. In the same vein, how do you know I am low quality? I mean I go to school, I am doing my best in life, and I act classy to people whom I meet. Nothing about me screams low quality and you wouldn't think I was low quality through meeting me in person. Nothing would likely stick out to you as ' wow what a low quality skank" First of all, regarding our child abuser..... people like him are largely born sick in my honest opinion from what I have noticed insofar as the trends and correlations within the human psyche. But they are very well social aware enough to know they have immoral thoughts and should seek help, especially in 2014.... when help is readily advocated (where as it was once not available). I basically mean: my friends both help a lot of people in their communities because they enjoy it, and they no longer engage in immoral behaviour and they have been CLEAN most of their lives, with the nude modelling and crap only comprising maybe 1% of their entire adult life. I basically mean, Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh, You need to get over your slut phase. It happened...it's no big deal. A lot of women go through it. You tried it, you didn't like it. Big ****ing deal. You're beating yourself up over it more than anyone other person ever could. Which is why I made my self judgement statement earlier. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Load of crap? I said CAPABLE. I didn't say they were going to. The best predictor of the future is the past. I'm sorry if you disagree. My bad. Someone who has never cheated on their partner is just as CAPABLE of cheating as the person who did it once before. By all means, someone who cheated on every single partner, you can use this as predictor but otherwise, we should really stop judging people on one or two bad choices because NO ONE can pretend they never made at least a few bad choices in their lives Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 Leigh, You need to get over your slut phase. It happened...it's no big deal. A lot of women go through it. You tried it, you didn't like it. Big ****ing deal. You're beating yourself up over it more than anyone other person ever could. Which is why I made my self judgement statement earlier. Yeah but I would feel like punching someone in the face if say, they found out and they blurted out " well how does it feel being a skank?" I would be like.. wtf? How am I a skank right here and now? Plus it traumatized me so much I needed therapy because it was alien to me, hence it is very weird for people to assume I am likely to do it again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 23, 2014 Author Share Posted April 23, 2014 My bad. Someone who has never cheated on their partner is just as CAPABLE of cheating as the person who did it once before. By all means, someone who cheated on every single partner, you can use this as predictor but otherwise, we should really stop judging people on one or two bad choices because NO ONE can pretend they never made at least a few bad choices in their lives Exactly! The girl who cheated is really classy in all facets of her life! From her professional career to the way she treats her bf. She just goes to the moon and back to please her new partner and that is she sort of person she is in general. It is crazy to discredit such a loyal and lovely person for one bad thing she did, when she is now an outstanding partner? People assume things. Her own bf can tell how in love she is and.... yeah, it is so obvious she would never hurt him. Thing is, she left one incidence of cheating, which only I know of and no one else in her life knows about. She cheated on her ex 3 times. I just ... I am 99.99999% sure she will never cheat again. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 GoreSP, We all have flaws... Just because we point out a flaw it doesn't mean we're somehow perfect... We're still incredibly flawed and those 'one or two bad choices' are still horrific things for a spouse to do. Anyone is capable of physical violence. Those who inflict harm on animals, inflict physical harm on other people, or have a history of violence are all predictors of future acts. Does that guarantee they'll always be violent? No. Do people look towards an individual's actions to learn about them anyways? You bet. Link to post Share on other sites
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