ShadowSpirit Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 Here's some background stuff: I've known this woman online for well over a year now. We're both over 20. Both very shy people that spend a lot of time on the internet. I live in the northeast, she lives out West, about a 2000 mile distance. This past December I traveled out there to see her for the first time and things went pretty well, I definently want to be with her, I just have 2 problems...overcoming that geographic distance and dealing with her folks. 2000 miles is hell. I'm tentatively planing on going out there to college this fall and driving to see her. Because of how things go out there it'll be a 150 mile distance even at the best. This is ok for me, I like driving but I'll only be able to see her on the weekends which really stinks. Plus I'm worried about how I'll be treated... I'm a minority and have problems with depression, I've had ruff times where I live let alone a place with no diversity whatsoever. My girlfriend says I'll be fine but I think that's being a little naive. When I was out there someone said this to me in front of us: "I knew a boy of your color back when I was in the service, they never found him." I can feel the hospitality already, lol. Then there's also cost. Moving out there will probably be 10 thousand dollars more for me in expenses per year. I don't know if I can afford it. Second problem, her parents. They're a very close knit familly and they have a huge amount of control over her. Despite my girlfriend approaching 22 they still treat her like she's a teenager and she lets them. I have not been able to figure this out. She won't speak up for herself, not even to get a license (they rarely take her for driving practice so she can't get a job). Her mother will sometimes use the computer which prevents us from talking...I don't think this is done on purpose but still. I knew they would be kinda bothsome so I even brought my mom along on that trip to meet them...to break the ice and make me look less threatening...it didn't help much. Her father shaporoned my gf and I the ENTIRE time. She says that they actually like me a lot and that's just the way they are...very protective. But I really suspect that they don't like me. I have a lot of important decisions coming up like when to make another trip out there and if I'll be going to college there in the fall. Each trips costs between 500 and a 1000 dollars so it's not something I can just do on short notice. My gf can't visit me out here until August at earliest because of money. Lately she's been talking about how we'll get to spend time together for once when I'm out there for college this fall like it's a sure thing. I'm extremely uneasy about all of this, don't get me wrong, I do love her imensely. But these things are very hard to work around. I would have given up long ago on this relationship ever working but I have severe depression and I pretty much depend on my gf to get by everyday....it's that bad. I don't want to lose her. Any input about this would be much appreciated. Thanks.
MassiveAtom Posted February 4, 2005 Posted February 4, 2005 You're looking in the wrong place buddy. SHe will not be able to be your source of happiness forever. What happens when she falls out of love with you? Or you with Her? Do you think a deeper low might set in? DO get help with the depression, see a doc for a scrip, or a therapist for some help. Get your emotions under control before trying to have someone else rule them. The latter never works. Good luck. as always, MA
Author ShadowSpirit Posted February 4, 2005 Author Posted February 4, 2005 Originally posted by MassiveAtom You're looking in the wrong place buddy. SHe will not be able to be your source of happiness forever. What happens when she falls out of love with you? Or you with Her? Do you think a deeper low might set in? DO get help with the depression, see a doc for a scrip, or a therapist for some help. Get your emotions under control before trying to have someone else rule them. The latter never works. Good luck. as always, MA I have been treated for depression, I've tried to kill myself before in fact. Can't get much worse. ^^' My thinking is that if all goes wrong I at least have one option open to me. Doctors are liars and their pills do nothing to help me so that's why I won't see them anymore. My gf has kept me alive this past year so hopefully she can continue to do so.
Recommended Posts