Kstyle Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Sooo I've been dating this guy for 9 months and we got into a fight on Friday night. It mainly started when he said "f$&k you b$&(h" (second time in 9 months 5th break up fight in 9 months) and I went out and drunkinly slept with a co worker I've had the hots for. I'm back with my boyfriend now. What do I do???? I kind of what to try something with my co worker but I love my boyfriend I think? Idk what to do.
Eivuwan Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 It's not a healthy relationship or one that involves love if you guys break up 5 times in 9 months, call each other names, and cheat. 1
pteromom Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 You aren't a horrible person, but neither you nor your boyfriend sound mature enough to be in a relationship. Never settle for someone who calls you names and curses at you. I would break up with your boyfriend, and date the co-worker casually. Do not get exclusive at this point... just have fun. 1
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 How does "love" even fit in this equation. If it's love it's some sort of twisted attachment. Calling each other names, cheating, breaking up every 1.8 months. There is no emotional maturity. How does one conduct themselves this way and not see that they're in a fiery train wreck?
Author Kstyle Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Thanks guys. Butttt to make it clear I didn't call him anything and we were technically broken up so I didn't cheat either. I probably shouldn't be trying to stick up for myself but thanks for the advice lol. I've always kinda liked this co worker it's just weird because my dad is his boss. My co worker took me on a date once a year ago but ended it because he's scared of my father. I'm very close to the co worker at work
ThatMan Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 The way you mistreat each other is certainly horrible. Being called horrible names and sleeping around are miserable circumstances to place yourself in. You don't deserve any kind of mistreatment. Normally people are capable of making the choice of moving. But you strike me as the sort who is likely to be a bpd mess, and if true, taking a step back to reassess the situation would be nearly impossible. So what should you do? It would probably be a good idea to seek out a therapist, support hotline, whatever is available. Psychology Today & the APA both host search engines for licensed therapists.
waiting4u Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 People do crazy things in the name of love. I wouldn't suggest any confessions about that night to your boyfriend. As far as being a "horrible person," I've yet to see anyone on this forum say something to the effect of "You are absolutely doing the right thing! You are making all the right decisions and are generally fabulous for being just the way you are!" I would look to your girlfriends or people who love you for that kind of affirmation. We are allowed to make mistakes in life and do impulsive things. In the end, you'll learn some incredible lessons from this entire experience, and likely have a lot of fun. Nobody can decide on guy A or guy B except you. That said, careful about dating coworkers.
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Thanks guys. Butttt to make it clear I didn't call him anything and we were technically broken up so I didn't cheat either. I probably shouldn't be trying to stick up for myself but thanks for the advice lol. I've always kinda liked this co worker it's just weird because my dad is his boss. My co worker took me on a date once a year ago but ended it because he's scared of my father. I'm very close to the co worker at work You didn't say anything about being broken up other than you were dating this guy for 9 months, got into a fight and then slept with the co-worker. Be precise about how you detail your story because it's difficult to provide advice on a changing story. Break up with your boyfriend. It's unhealthy. Ending every month or so, 5 times in 9 months is a sign that it's broken. While "love" is nice and all, it's not going to fix it. Date your co-worker casually and see where it goes. Co-worker is scared of your father -- are you both teenagers?
Author Kstyle Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 I stated right in my post 'twas a breakup fight just like your elaboration in your second paragraph. And yes co worker is scared of my father cuz my fathervis his BOSS as am I technically. Smash did you even read everything? If you cared about concrete critisim you'd ask our JOB.
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I stated right in my post 'twas a breakup fight just like your elaboration in your second paragraph. And yes co worker is scared of my father cuz my fathervis his BOSS as am I technically. Smash did you even read everything? If you cared about concrete critisim you'd ask our JOB. There is no need to be rude. Just because he works in your father's company, he should be able to be a stand up guy and approach your father with his intent in dating you. That is what a man should be able to do if he wants to date you while being respectful to your father/boss.
Recommended Posts