Mikeyy Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I met this girl through another friend that I absolutely find amazing. We talked on the phone for like a week, texted eachother, and Skyped. I took her out on a date just recently. Before the date she made it clear that she wanted to be friends first and see how it goes from there and to see if she can build that into a real honest relationship. Well on the date she had a great time and told me that she liked me and that I was amazing. Well on the date we held hands which she told me she liked and I kissed her but that's where she said I was taking it a bit too fast. But she said it was okay it's just that she wasn't ready yet. But at the end of the date when I dropped her off she tried to kiss me lol. But anyways since the date we talk actually everyday through either texting or on the phone. She actually always texts me first. I never send it first in fear of her thinking I'm too clingy. She made it clear to me not to worry about being friendzoned and that she's not going to make me wait forever obviously. She just said she wants me to give it sometime to build a good foundation starting with a friendship because her sister did the same thing with her boyfriend with great success. She told me she isn't emotionally attracted to me yet because it takes time for that kind of attraction to build up. What's your thoughts??? She told me that I'm really cute and that she does like me and she definately feels a little something there but she said it takes time for that to grow. So my big question is should I wait for her? I've dated so many girls and honestly I never met someone as compatible with me as her. We just click in terms of sharing the same values, interests, and morals. I'm not in a hurry to get into a relationship either so waiting isn't an issue. I just want to know if that's worth it though? She's only had one boyfriend and it was a 6 month relationship and it wasn't serious at all. So she said she wants to make sure that if she wants one with me that she needs to be sure of it first by becoming good friends. Also if I wait for her, how long should I give it? Basically she said she just wants to get comfortable with me and get to know me better first, then take it from there and see what happens
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 She is not saying anything that would be a red flag or even a yellow flag, I understand what she is talking about but she is saying it in a way that shows her lack of experience. If you enjoy her and have a good time yes give it a little time. You could also ask her how long does it take her to feel 'comfortable' with a new someone. If she says 1-2 months it may be viable to you, if she answers 1 year I would definitely reconsider. 2
tekkenfan2 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 1-2 months seems fine esp since she isnt going to try and friend zone you. Give it time to make sure everything is as it seems, if its meant to be the time will fly by. 1
sagetalk Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Also if I wait for her, how long should I give it? Basically she said she just wants to get comfortable with me and get to know me better first, then take it from there and see what happens You can always be friendzoned unless you act like a jerk. I'm not encouraging you to act like a jerk, just be aware you are not out of those horrid woods. Continue to ask her out and take it slow, but continue to hold her hand and other things that a friend would not do. If she continues to tell you to stop after a few more dates, there is something wrong. What exactly depends on her age and many other factors. For now, just keep asking her out. 2
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I understand this girl. I don't know if you're put off by her lack of experience but hopefully if you like this girl you'll continue being paitent and give her a shot. I don't have a lot of relationship experience and I'm 30! I think what she's doing is the mature thing to do getting to know someone slowly over time. It can often feel overwhelming if someone likes you that much ( trust me) especially if you haven't had a boyfriend in such a long time and you're not sure how to handle it. Let her gain your trust. If you rush into it to much it may make her run. 2
FitChick Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I am the same way. I need more than physical attraction. See her frequently so she becomes more comfortable with you. Escalate the affection slowly. As you found out, she will reciprocate and even initiate the affection if you pull back. Make it like a fun game, i.e. hug her tightly and say, "Sorry, that bulge you feel is a gun" and then laugh and pull away. Act like you are about to kiss her but nuzzle her hair and say it smells so good. If she lifts her mouth toward you, then kiss her. Become a tease.
Phantom888 Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 I was trying to find a girl like that during the 4 years after my divorce, but for some reason the women all wanted to have sex right away, and it's hard for me to turn them down after several dates. I would love to be friends first and get to enjoy each other via common interests. My fiancee and I had sex on our 2nd date, and it was perfect for us, but I always wonder if it would be any better if we got to know each other more before we went to bed together. I don't know.
Do_The_Herp Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 starting in the frend zone is stupid OP.. Do not sittle for frendship..
BlueIris Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 “I never send it first in fear of her thinking I'm too clingy.” What the heck has happened to men?! I never had a boyfriend who was afraid to be affectionate, even at 17, and I dated jocks! Fear things like nuclear disaster, not being human and affectionate. “She told me she isn't emotionally attracted to me yet because it takes time for that kind of attraction to build up.” It does. She’s right. “So my big question is should I wait for her?” “Also if I wait for her, how long should I give it?” Wait for what? So, you just want to get laid, right? No, just move on. She deserves a guy who isn’t checking his watch and faking it.
Omei Posted April 26, 2014 Posted April 26, 2014 “I never send it first in fear of her thinking I'm too clingy.” What the heck has happened to men?! I never had a boyfriend who was afraid to be affectionate, even at 17, and I dated jocks! Fear things like nuclear disaster, not being human and affectionate. “She told me she isn't emotionally attracted to me yet because it takes time for that kind of attraction to build up.” It does. She’s right. “So my big question is should I wait for her?” “Also if I wait for her, how long should I give it?” Wait for what? So, you just want to get laid, right? No, just move on. She deserves a guy who isn’t checking his watch and faking it. OP stated hes not in a hurry, hes asking how long he should court her with hopes before it would be clear that she would have no intention of making him a bf. Agree with other poster 2-3 months of solid friendship 2
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 OP.. Do not sittle for frendship.. Settling for friendship is a smarter move before getting into a relationship straight away. That **** makes woman run if you're in a hurry to make things official before you get to know each other. There are steps before exclusivness. A guy who liked me asked me to be his girlfriend after a day of texting and asked me to be his girlfriend through a text. The guy is 31. That **** is weird. But after testing his motives and watching him run through a few hoops and watching him hang in there he seems to be paying off for him. Well we will see. Anyway, friendship is important. I'll leave it at that. 1
todreaminblue Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 I don't understand how friendship isnt the first step and that step takes a little time its a good foundation if you want a serious relationship my longest and most lasting relationships have always been this way the serious ones anyway.I think the woman you are seeing is doing this the right way, surely the best way to make things last and trust that it is something that should last, in my opinion that is,is to get to know someone on a deeper emotional level without sex to confuse emotions so in other words friendship.....I am wary of guys who dont want to be friends first.....to me it isnt a good sign at all......and in my experience it has been proven to be the case for me..i think what other posters said about 1 to 2 maybe even three months is a good start....deb
Woop1337 Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 She just "kinda" likes you. Let me emphasize, that I'm not saying she's not into you. Anyway, she wants to take it slow. So what you're going to do, is to take it slower. I think you know what I mean, from your post you seem like a smart guy.
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