Frank2thepoint Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 If I were you I wouldnt have "the talk". It scares the SugerHoneyIceTea out of men. I would slow things down.Waaay down. He will feel the vibe and slow down or bring up exclusivity on his own. Which is the way it should be. Exclusivity should be the mans idea. They like to be in control of who they end up in a r with WTF did I just read? Are you advocating that women should not communicate to the man about their feelings? Are you also advocating that a man should have control of a relationship, with no input by the woman? 2
The Like Fairy Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I'm not going to tell him I love him, haha. Just maybe talk to him about whether he's dating/ sleeping with other people, and let him know that I'm not comfortable with carrying on with him if he is. Good girl, keep us posted on how it goes! Remember, having boundaries and expectations is a GOOD thing (an absolute necessity in life). So is honest communication. Best of luck to you 1
Phantom888 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I disagree. I would be frightened or feel uncomfortable if someone I barely knew told me they loved me, or if I didn't love them back. I am a mature human being and I want to commit but it takes time to get to know someone. I'll agree to the extent that if a stranger says "I LOVE YOU" after 1 or 2 dates, that would be worrisome. But if you have sex with someone regularly, after 1 - 2 months, love should not scare you unless you already have your foot out the door to begin with. That's what I'm talking about. 1
Author JZH Posted April 24, 2014 Author Posted April 24, 2014 Good girl, keep us posted on how it goes! Remember, having boundaries and expectations is a GOOD thing (an absolute necessity in life). So is honest communication. Best of luck to you Thanks And will do!
Hopeful30 Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I'll agree to the extent that if a stranger says "I LOVE YOU" after 1 or 2 dates, that would be worrisome. But if you have sex with someone regularly, after 1 - 2 months, love should not scare you unless you already have your foot out the door to begin with. That's what I'm talking about. I said the L word 3 months in, and the man's response was "No you don't. You don't know what love is then. You can't just love someone so quickly" and yet weeks before he was telling me that he is so inlove with me. I mean.. a simple "thank you" would have sufficed. This man was just stupid, and now he wants me back. LOL too late buddy.. and he calls himself open minded.. pff! 2
Author JZH Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Update: I asked him if he is seeing other people and explained that if he was, I didn't want to carry on with him. He said he isn't, and he's not going to. Some people I know have tried to put a dampener on this and have said "yeah, but do you actually believe him?". My reply was "yes, why wouldn't I? He's given me no reason not to". Plus, his sister's coming to visit him next week and he's said that she wants to meet me and asked if I'd like to meet her, which I'd say is definitely a good sign
Legatus Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Did you tell him you don't want to carry on with him before he answered?
Author JZH Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Did you tell him you don't want to carry on with him before he answered? Yeah. Well I said that if he was then I didn't want to. To be honest, even if he was doing previous to that conversation, I don't really mind as we hadn't talked about it yet. But I have made it clear now that I don't want to keep seeing him if he is going to see other people, so I'll believe him when he says he's not going to
Kamila Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Update: I asked him if he is seeing other people and explained that if he was, I didn't want to carry on with him. He said he isn't, and he's not going to. That is the pre-exclusive talk. He knows.
Author JZH Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 That is the pre-exclusive talk. He knows. He knows what?
Joangel Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 Your delusional kid. Your falling for an idea you've created in your mind. If you saw him more often, you will start to see more flaws. We can all be our best selves once a week. Right now your seeing him at his best and not seeing him often fuels that. When you a guy farting, blowing his nose, or cursing at a football game and your heart still skips a beat, then it's love. In the meantime I would slow down on the sex. He hasn't earned it yet. You may very well end up a Thursday night booty call.
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