Whovian Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 To get straight to the heart of the matter, I'm a 23 year old college student, who's NEVER had a date, let alone a relationship of any length, but not for lack of trying. I'm a fairly shy and quiet person generally, so it's always been a bit harder for me to socialize and make friends than most people, but I've gotten by reasonably well by keeping a small circle of friends throughout my years at school. What I haven't been able to overcome very well (and I feel has only gotten worse over the years) is my ability to open up to girls I'm interested in. In my early years of confessions and attempts at dating I usually brushed off the rejections without too much of a fuss, always telling myself, "You're only in middle school, you'll find someone eventually. Besides, not that many other kids in this age group are in relationships; no rush". Then I got to high school, and things only kept going downhill for this aspect of my life. Everywhere I looked, there were happy couples, while no matter who I ended up asking all throughout high school, absolutely none of them said yes to go with me on a simple date or dance event (in fact one of them apparently felt so insulted that I asked her, that she physically assaulted me in the middle of school as a result). Mind you, I wasn't, nor still am, trying to do this to cave to peer pressure just to fit in with society, as I've never been that kind of person, but because I genuinely longed for some kind of companionship more than just friends. As time went on, I made it to college and am currently completing my 5th year (engineering degree, not to mention my mild ADHD extending my stay) while also working part-time. Some would say this should've made it much easier to find potential dates, but not for me. The classes I take aren't exactly best for socializing even for the most extroverted people, let alone the roughly 25:1 male to female ratio in them making it next to impossible to find a woman I'm interested in that's around my age and not currently in a relationship herself. Clubs are a no-go as well, as the ones I'm interested in are either non-existent or have so few members that I know the few women in them are already married. Of the women at my job, all of them are significantly older than me and/or already married. I've even tried using a couple legitimate dating sites to try and find people, but the messages I leave for others are never answered, and no one has come forward to say they're interested in me (just like in real life). Over the last 3 years I've only ended up asking 4 women in total, and with longer and longer times between each. It's gotten to the point that I feel greatly depressed and jaded of the prospect of opening myself up to someone like that for fear of being shut out yet again. On the other hand, I still feel the intense need for companionship over loneliness that drives me to seek out others, despite the feeling that it would take a miracle for even a date to happen. Thanks for reading this more-or-less vent post. I hope it alleviates some of the negative emotions I'm feeling, but more importantly, I kind of hope that maybe some of you might give me suggestions on how to cope with these kinds of emotions, and maybe advise on how someone who's had the absolute worst luck in this field might turn it around.
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