MsINTJ Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 So, this guy I met in college. We had a couple of classes together last semester, and we were also in the same group for one class which is how I got to know him a bit. I never really thought I was attracted to him, rather just intrigued by him until another friend pointed out a "chemistry" that she sees between us. That's when I became more interested and then realized that maybe I had developed a crush on him. Seeing that he's younger than me, and happens to be a student athlete at the university, I was somewhat intimidated by him. But his personality is very quiet and reserved; he didn't talk much. He and I worked well together in our project, he's very dependable, very smart, and can take on leadership roles. Did i mention he's the team captain of the soccer team? Anyway, I decided I wanted to be his friend more than anything else. I didn't really know much about this guy other than what I've mentioned above. Like I said, he didn't talk much. So after our project was finished, I tried to talk to him more in class and even got us to study together a couple of times for midterms and finals. At the end of last semester I felt he'd warmed up to me a bit. And I was happy with that. But then during winter break we didn't talk much. In the beginning of this semester, I saw him during the first week. For some reason something had changed about him, he seemed different and kind of lost interest. So I decided I was over it. Then two months later, I had a random dream about him, and thought "hm, I haven't talked to him in a while" So without overanalyzing and overthinking it (which is what I would usually do), I actually shot him a text and told him about the dream. I figure it was a good reason to say hi to someone (this happened to me before, and I actually felt flattered). He took it well and we talked for a bit, he even suggested we get our group back together for a little reunion. We both thought it was a good idea, but nothing has been planned. Then two days later, I ran into him in the hallway where one of my classes were! Totally unexpected and I was in a bit of a shock that it didn't even register in my head that it was him I was looking at. All I knew is that I had locked eyes with this guy who came out of one of the rooms and as I got closer, he smiled and said hi to me. I thought that was pretty interesting, almost like serendipity. So then at that moment, I started to get those feelings back and started to have a crush on him again. Ever since then, we've been running into each other around school, or we'd end up taking the same workshops and sitting next to each other. We talk to each other thru text once in a while, but mainly I'm the one initiating the contact. When he sees me around on campus, he actually is the one who comes up to me, we talk but only for a bit. But when we are around each other tho, I lose my cool. I don't do anything stupid, but I get super nervous! I notice we maintain strong eye contact and i notice he's started bringing up stuff in our conversations that we've talked a long time ago. Also, when we were at one workshop, we had to get into groups. I noticed he was different - a lot more interactive and open. Not sure if that had anything to do with the fact that he's just more comfortable with me around now or if he's actually changed... either way it's a good thing. Though I've heard he's still quiet in some classes. Anyway, we've talked about hanging out one day during one of the times we were walking together after one of the workshops. I asked him what he normally does on the weekends. he hesitated then said "nothing"... so I said I'll text him on a weekend and we'll go out. This past weekend (over a week since that conversation about going out), I texted him "do you have plans tonight" and he had a soccer game. He didn't say anything else. So... now, I'm lost. I don't know if he's not interested and he'd just been friendly all along, or if he's clueless and shy or what?! And I don't know what to do next! It's probably important to mention that I'm not the most aggressive girl out there. I'm clueless when it comes to dating! And I get anxiety due to my analytical nature. So asking him to go out has taken a lot out of me. And I try not to put so much pressure on myself but I just can't help it. I don't know if I'm more afraid of him saying no or screwing up whatever kind of "friendship" we've (SLOWLY) started to build already PLEASE HELP!!!!
Omei Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 You can worry about it and never ask and waste months liking a guy you will never date, or he will say no and then your time is free to chase after someone else. No matter what you do unless you ask nothing has the outcome your hoping for because you need to ask to have a chance at it.
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