Mommame2 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Meet a guy. He's great on surface. Very caring etc. but talks about times in his life where he has gotten into fights to protect family etc. He is a great dad. Doesn't have history of domestic violence but often brags about how he threatens to be a "guys ass" or "snatch them by the throat" if they would do anything to hurt their child etc. (came up in discussion about Catholic Church molestation cases). My background is very very conservative. Wondering... Do guys talk like that ?
OhThatGirl Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Not guys that I spend time with. Sounds low class and trashy. I have a strong dislike of men that can't rationally handle emotions, especially anger. Just seems uncivilized. Yuck. 5
TheKook Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Some people like that but honestly yeah, it's pretty weird when guys act overly violent like that. It's better to just control yourself, but be a silent badass when you have to be.
tekkenfan2 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Yeah thats weird, but in some circles that's how guys talk to one another. Just tell him you don't like it when he talks about being violent unnecessarily, shouldn't be something hard to stop doing over time.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Not sure how easy that will be since it is still early ... But maybe I can gently tell him. I kind of already did, but he probably didn't get the hint. My ex was such a pansy that there is something attractive about a tough guy. But yes I don't want to hear about it.
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 No, it's not normal. He suffers from insecurities. Do not fool yourself this aggressiveness will be aimed at you eventually. A real protective man doesn't brag. He's confident and poised, he doesn't need to prove himself to the world, and certainly do not need to impress a woman with his big macho ways. I would not date this man. I cannot stand those little Mr-know-it-all.
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 "Would you date someone who told you this? Divorced dad. Says that he beat up a 19 year old boy who was after his daughter...And also that he punched a guy who was having an affair with his wife ...And checked himself into hospital during divorce because he was suicidal. Obviously there is a lot great about him.., but those things stuck out to me. They were years ago.. No record." Is this the same guy you are talking about that you posted in a past thread a few days ago? If it is, you certainly are ignoring the advice that was given so I am not sure why the need to post again. If you're hoping to hear something different, you most likely won't. Sometimes you just have to go with what YOU believe in. Repeat threads about the same thing won't change a thing if you want what you want. 1
J21 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Is it repetitive or was it a once off the cuff poor remark? If it is repeated, it can be a sign he's barbaric.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 "Would you date someone who told you this? Divorced dad. Says that he beat up a 19 year old boy who was after his daughter...And also that he punched a guy who was having an affair with his wife ...And checked himself into hospital during divorce because he was suicidal. Obviously there is a lot great about him.., but those things stuck out to me. They were years ago.. No record." Is this the same guy you are talking about that you posted in a past thread a few days ago? If it is, you certainly are ignoring the advice that was given so I am not sure why the need to post again. If you're hoping to hear something different, you most likely won't. Sometimes you just have to go with what YOU believe in. Repeat threads about the same thing won't change a thing if you want what you want. I was ready to post the same thing. Why another thread, OP?
Author Mommame2 Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Strangely it is NOT the same guy?! So that's why I was wondering... Is that common? Not in my circles. Just seemed odd to me. But I work around very conservative people.
Chocolat Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Strangely it is NOT the same guy?! :eek: So is this the guy who thinks you are "the one" after 1 week? Have you considered that your "picker" may need fine-tuning? If what you want is a healthy, committed R with another adult, the guys you post about don't appear to be qualified candidates. And the fact that you need to ask about them suggests that you don't have a good understanding of what to look for. Maybe take a break from dating for a bit while you clarify your own needs. 1
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I know I repeat myself but mommame2 try another dating website. You're on a website known for scammers. 1
MidwestUSA Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 :eek: So is this the guy who thinks you are "the one" after 1 week? I was just going to ask the same. If it is, it would be so helpful to have everything about each guy contained in one thread. If it's yet ANOTHER guy, I'd have to say that you're trying too hard, OP, and jumping at the first guy(s) that show interest. You're just going to rack up a long list of dysfunctionals. 1
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Momma, either your picker is off or you have some really f'd up men in your area. In any case, the fact that you are gravitating to these men and you're not confident about your choices, but worst of all, lacking in boundaries -- not being sure what's wrong or right for you, it would be best you step away from dating and work on yourself. Or at least work on creating a boundary system -- what you will and will not accept. You at least have to have that. You can't go blind eyed into it without having some sort of guideline for yourself. 1
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Doesn't have history of domestic violence How do you know that? You think the guy would volunteer the information? ... Do guys talk like that ? Simple, do men around you speak like this? Your dad, brothers, neighbors, colleagues? I don't think so. So no, it's not normal. 2
Zahara Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Gaeta, makes a great point. Just because a man tells you something, it doesn't necessarily mean it's true. One thing I've learned from OLD is that you should take whatever they say with a grain of salt. People can say whatever they want when in the moment and when trying to sell/present themselves in a good light. In time they will prove themselves and what they say. And yes, looking back I don't believe I have heard any guy I have dated speak like that -- except my father who was an abusive father and husband. The only way he resolved conflict was with threats or violence.
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