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Friendship potential and attraction

kaylan

By kaylan
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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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A friend and I were talking today...and I told him about my dating break and my aim to make friends. He told me good luck and that its tougher making friends outside of work or school, to which I agreed. He then asked if I was just trying to meet new bros or trying to get gal pals too. I said both, and he replied "lol good luck".

 

Then he stated how in his experience the women who hit him up to hang out most of the time are his friends he has sexual tension with. He basically said "dude for a much as people say women are different than us, the female friends who contact me with good frequency are the women who seem to like me."

 

I later sat to think about my past friendships or the female acquaintances I've had. I then thought about what I've seen happen to my good guy friends as well. It did kinda seem like women were more prone to be friends with dudes they had some chemistry with. And heck, my better looking guy friends have tons of chick friends when compared to not so good looking guys.

 

Not that I'm surprised....humans can be pretty simple like that. It just made me wonder about stuff. And I dunnno if my friend was trying to call me ugly lol haha

Edited by kaylan
hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

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Just because a girl spends a lot of time with a guy doesnt mean she wants to have sex.

 

I am careful with male acquaintances because they can get the wrong impression quite easily.

 

Sometim3s he will be attracted to me, and he will assume the feeling must be mutual. Is yiur friend sure all these women want him?

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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Im not saying a girl wants sex just because she spends a lot of time with a guy (though lets be honest...a lot of sex has happened between friends who spend so much time together). What Im saying is that its no coincidence that my more attractive male friends have way more female friends than the rest of my guy friends.

 

And its no coincidence that women who have stayed in better contact with me over the years have been more flirty than others. And my friend attests to the same thing. And Im not saying these women wanna sleep with us. Im just saying it appears that women seem much more willing to hang out or be friends with guys they have some sort of attraction to.

 

Doesnt mean its strong enough for her to want to sleep with him, but I cant ignore the fact that I see good looking men having more female friends trying to spend time with him.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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It's true for me. I would only contact a guy friend frequently if I was attracted. The guy friends that I have, we hang out once in a blue moon and it's them doing the initiating...

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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It's true for me. I would only contact a guy friend frequently if I was attracted. The guy friends that I have, we hang out once in a blue moon and it's them doing the initiating...

Clearly Im ugly since my chick friends dont hit me up that much :o lolz

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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Clearly Im ugly since my chick friends dont hit me up that much :o lolz

 

You should try taking your shirt off in front of them :p

Grumpybutfun Established Member

Grumpybutfun

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I don't know, I had some weird experiences when I was single. Most of the girls who said they wanted to be friends ended up wanting to have sex or claimed to have feelings for me later. I very easily can have friends who are girls but I've never had many opportunities because they most wanted something more even if they claimed they didn't. My wife says she thinks they said that in order to get close to me to try to change my mind...this behavior was pretty much across the board from beautiful girls to plain ones. I Have only managed to have two friends who are female and they were both in in LTRs or married when I met them.

Do you have female friends, Kaylan?

Grumps

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kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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You should try taking your shirt off in front of them :p

:(:(

 

But they have to wanna hang out a bit first.

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iris219 Established Member

iris219

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I'm friends with people I click with, not because they are attractive.

 

I've seen male/female friends get flirty with each other regardless of what the guy looks like. When you like someone as a person, sometimes you take it too far, especially when there's alcohol involved.

 

Personally, I keep strict boundaries with guy friends. The fact that I don't find them attractive makes this easy. I like that my FI can hang out with my guy friends and be assured that there was never any sort of sexual tension whatsoever (on my part at least). The fact that my guy friends aren't attractive makes this totally believable. I prefer unattractive guy friends. :laugh:

 

My guy friends make this joke about how I hug them--pelvis way out away from theirs. I make sure they know my pelvic area is repelled by theirs. :laugh:

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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I keep in contact with guy friends that I am not sexually into.

 

I thought this was more a problem for girls.... hard for me personally to have guy friends who. .... yeah:o

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