travelbug1996 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I’ve heard guys say that they wish women would talk to them first or hit on them instead of the other way around. They say that they are flattered when it happens. But what does that really mean? Being flattered means you’re primping someone’s ego. It doesn’t mean that he’s going to fall in love with you. Men are going to fall in love with whoever they fall in love with. No amount of “helping the situation” on the part of the woman is going to make him do so, and in fact may be a turn off. 1
JackieChiles Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Not really what the point of this thread is. But I don't have an issue with a girl initiating contact, but I've had bad experiences with girls who are more apt to take the lead with more than that. Asking for a date, number, etc. 2
topaMAXX Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Not really what the point of this thread is. But I don't have an issue with a girl initiating contact, but I've had bad experiences with girls who are more apt to take the lead with more than that. Asking for a date, number, etc. Wow! I thought it was only me. I've had a decent amount of girls chase me in my life. Every single one of them ended up having something extremely wrong with them mentally (ranging from borderline personality disorder to....only God knows lol). Anyway, I generally avoid girls that take the lead now because of my experiences with them. 1
JackieChiles Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 Wow! I thought it was only me. I've had a decent amount of girls chase me in my life. Every single one of them ended up having something extremely wrong with them mentally (ranging from borderline personality disorder to....only God knows lol). Anyway, I generally avoid girls that take the lead now because of my experiences with them. Haha. I mean I wouldn't go THAAT far. But I've just never had great experiences with them. I also think that I'd have trust issues with them as well.
d0nnivain Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 There is a lot of social & economic pressure on men to take the lead & make the 1st move. That takes courage because letting somebody know you are interested risks rejection. If a woman makes it clear that she's interested, the guy should have more confidence in the ask because he already knows she likes him too. It's not going to make a guy genuinely like a girl just because she liked him 1st. It may make him think twice about a woman he previously overlooked & I suppose it could allow a jerk to take advantage of woman just because it's easy.
sagetalk Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I assume you are a female. This is a golden rule of men: It is never a turn off for a girl to approach a guy unless she is way out of his normal dating range. If your looks and dating range are similar to his, it will never turn him off. If he is turned off by it he is either married, dating, or you are way below the standards he usually dates.
HappyLove Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I’ve heard guys say that they wish women would talk to them first or hit on them instead of the other way around. They say that they are flattered when it happens. But what does that really mean? Being flattered means you’re primping someone’s ego. It doesn’t mean that he’s going to fall in love with you. Men are going to fall in love with whoever they fall in love with. No amount of “helping the situation” on the part of the woman is going to make him do so, and in fact may be a turn off. Exactly! Women who chase or approach a man are looked down upon! But now men are so afraid of their own shadows they won't approach a woman either. So a lot of times she tries to get something going but now "something must be wrong with her".
Kingston100 Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 I find with most of my relationships I was the one to initiate things (I am a woman). My current boyfriend I pulled onto a bar patio and kissed when we were at a party. He was pretty receptive to that. I don't hit on someone unless I know for sure I am going to get a positive response though. Usually there are clues. He compliments you, you catch him looking at you across a room, his friends keep talking him up (that's a big one). I think the guys who are "turned off" by a girl coming on to them are the guys who have been approached by a girl they have shown absolutely no interest in. They aren't turned off by the approach, they just aren't into her.
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