This isn't getting better

[Blake1985]

I was with a my ex for 2 years. We had a good relationship. We were looking at houses to buy, we were in the process of starting our future together. I had bought the ring and was going to propose. Then one day we were watching tv and I asked if she felt alright she responded with "I just don't think I am ready for this. I still want the same things with you, I just need to sometime and space." I seriously did not see this coming at all! I sent her flowers that day, I thought things were going great.

 

So I said I would patient and let her go. I was a mess but I didn't want her to know. I started seeing a therapist that week she left. We didn't talk for 3 weeks and then we met for dinner one night and I was super happy and it went well. We saw each other about once a week for awhile. This was hard for me since we slept together every night for the past 2 years. But I really tried to be understanding and calm. After a couple months of this she was starting to be more loving and more interested again.

 

I asked her if she thought we would get back together and she said yes. The next day she brought me lunch at work and she was very affectionate. We had said goodbye and as I was walking back into my office she ran after me just to say she loved me so much and gave me another kiss. 3 days later she sent a text "I'm not in love with you anymore." Just like that my world was upside down again. I asked why did she do all that 3 days before, she said she meant it but she didn't know what changed.

 

She said she knew I would do anything for her but it just wasn't enough. It's been 6 months and I feel like I haven't made any progress. We don't talk very much she will text me sometimes just to say I hope you're doing well. I try not respond and I have never texted or called her first. When I do respond back to her she is very cold and it kills me, treats me like an stranger. She has no idea how hard I'm taking this. It's been 6 months and I feel like I haven't made any progress. I avoid any place I could run into her. No social media sites to see her on. I have removed anything that reminds me of her from my apartment.

 

I have being seeing a therapist weekly for 5 months. I have met new friends and hang out more. Took up playing soccer, learned how to play the guitar, I have been exercising and I have an awesome six pack. I have a good job, I'm good looking and I don't have a problem getting a date. Dating makes me sick and more miserable. I look at what I've done and nothing feels genuine. When I play the guitar it reminds me of her, when someone comments on my abs I think of her. I do these things because they are supposed to help me move on but it feels like I'm doing things out of spite.

 

She is still the first thing I think of in the morning and the last at night. I wake up and reach for her every night. I'm at the point where I feel like I need to hide that I'm still a freaking mess over her from everyone. She is out there living her life and is happy. I feel like I'm not even living my life anymore. I miss her so much and it's becoming too much. I'm starting to think I need to move away because just knowing she is so close but not in my life is killing me. I'm losing any interest in spending time with my friends and family or any activities like the guitar or exercise.

 

I have had breakups before but this is harder on me than anything before. I'm terrified that I will get even more sad or how in the hell I'll be able to be okay when I find out she is with someone else.

Edited April 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Mla]

I can relate I'm around same time frame feeling exactly the same iv not done as much as u though so be proud of yourself u have pushed yourself to get out socialise meet new friends etc I cut myself off as I trend a pattern and go through this each time but this is a first for you so u will learn from this

 

I hope it helps to know others the same your doing everything right apart from you should really try cut no contact maybe that will help u move forward more iv stuck it to it more an less and still in same places but we all diff it takes as long as it takes for us but eventually we will get there we will get through it together with the rest on here and the support they offer

[Cpt]

My opinion on this...

 

First time: she monkey branched

Second time: her new guy fling failed so she came back to you

Third time: her new guy came back or she found another new guy and left you again

 

Why would you love someone who would treat you like this? Like, what exactly is there to love about her besides the good memories you had?

 

She is stringing you along man and as long as she knows she has you wrapped around her little finger, she will continue to do so until she settles down with some other guy.

 

Go complete NC. Don't allow her to treat you like this.

[Craft81]

She's just using you -- she wants to keep you in her back pocket when all else fails, because you've been there before.

 

This time, don't let her do that.

 

Go, NC. She's not worth your time at all.