Thank you LS!!!

[purplehues]

It's been 3 months and 1 day since my ex broke up with me. And a week since the she came back into my life declaring she made a mistake, and then disappeared on me again. And you know what? I'm doing just fine. What I thought would once destroy me (seriously!!! just read my former, pathetic posts) now feels like one of the biggest, greatest lessons in my life. So how did I get here?

By listening to LS community. Everything below has already been said on here time and time again. Specifically:

1. NC!!!! No way around this. NC!

2. re-focusing on myself and other relationships…which can only happen with NC.

3. allowing myself time to hurt and being gracious/tender with my feelings.

4. recognizing that irrationality and break-ups are best friends! So, once you realize that you're out of your daggon mind the first few weeks after being dumped, maybe even longer, you'll know to trust yourself less and rely on wisdom of your family, friends, and people on this forum.

5. loving the angry moments. I referred to my moments of anger as common sense. After the break-up, it's the only time I saw the relationship for what it really was. And since NC prevented me from acting out on these feelings and reaching out to my ex, I loved getting pissed-off!

6. reminding myself that my ex made a choice to leave me, walking out on the life we built together. Seriously, I used to repeat this time and time again. And even when I didn't think it was working, it was. It prevented me from breaking NC.

7. making myself do stuff. Yep. It sucks and you'll be wishing you were with your ex, but that'll pass soon enough because you'll break the habit of having them in your life by employing NC. And after a while, you'll even stop glancing down at your phone to see if they contacted you. So yeah, do spend some time with family and friends when you're able. They love you and human contact helps.

 

In a nutshell, people on here are right and you're more than likely wrong…your story is no different. Just like mine wasn't--and I thought it was. See #4. And NC works. It's a slow fade, and it will suck, and there is no way around the pain. Unless you choose to mask it with other crap, but that'll probably backfire. And before you know it, a whole day will go by and your ex will not cross your mind once. It's an ecstatic thing!!!

 

Sooo….I'm grateful for all the support I've received from people on this website. Seriously. If I could hug all the individuals who took the time to respond to me, and all those who took the time to share their stories and experiences on here, I would. Thank you all I got myself back!