Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 SG, I'm not going to harp on your other issues that you should be focusing on, which you should do because if you don't this is how you will keep repeating your story. As for this guy. It happens. 2 dates doesn't mean anything. He could be dating other women. He may not be that interested but keeps it mildly going for attention. He was just being polite. I don't know but being so affected as per your last thread because you view every man that walks your way as the one that is going to give you babies will keep you stuck this way. You need to adjust your expectations. Maybe then you won't be so utterly dissappointed when one guy doesn't show up. If you want to date, open up your pool of people and stop putting this one guy in your basket. I just want to understand it to move on. The dates went well. I then went away to take my mind of things and things have changed. If he wanted out why would he say welcome back?
Frivolous Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 2 dates and he has gone cold. I went away for 3 nights, had a welcome home hun text. After that nothing. Why? I'm in your club! 2 dates and over 2 weeks without missing a day testing and today nothing :/ Last text was yesterday 6pm and I replied within half hour but haven't heard anything since! I had 2 dates with someone before that I never heard from again! Maybe there is a 2 date rule that we don't know about!
Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 I'm in your club! 2 dates and over 2 weeks without missing a day testing and today nothing :/ Last text was yesterday 6pm and I replied within half hour but haven't heard anything since! I had 2 dates with someone before that I never heard from again! Maybe there is a 2 date rule that we don't know about! Yes - maybe they get cold feet, maybe they regretted the commitment of a second date.
Zahara Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 I just want to understand it to move on. The dates went well. I then went away to take my mind of things and things have changed. If he wanted out why would he say welcome back? There is no way to find out what they're thinking. You have to be thick skinned if you want to OLD. And that means living your life and meeting others and not sitting chained to one guy after two dates. He's probably dating others and keeping mild communication going as he is keeping all his options open. 1
Frivolous Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Yes - maybe they get cold feet, maybe they regretted the commitment of a second date. I will be very surprised if I don't get a third date with this girl but not getting a text in 30 hours isn't helping especially since this is the first day without one. I'm trying to lower my expectations as people will say all sorts of nice things that they don't mean! I generally only give a person a second date if I genuinely like them so it's hard for me to understand people that date for ages then turn off :/
Frivolous Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 I will be very surprised if I don't get a third date with this girl but not getting a text in 30 hours isn't helping especially since this is the first day without one. I'm trying to lower my expectations as people will say all sorts of nice things that they don't mean! I generally only give a person a second date if I genuinely like them so it's hard for me to understand people that date for ages then turn off :/ I totally understand that but it's very difficult to do when you like someone. I've been OLD'ing for year's and iv only met 2 people I'd consider having a relationship with!
Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 I totally understand that but it's very difficult to do when you like someone. I've been OLD'ing for year's and iv only met 2 people I'd consider having a relationship with! Yes why get cold feet after the second date and not the first?
Frivolous Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 so gutted;5679388]Yes why get cold feet after the second date and not the first? It is annoying as I don't work that way but scientifically its natural for people to fell excitement etc on a first date that isn't there on the second. Like with anything the novelty wears off so dating is a test to see if 2 people are compatible past novelty. 1
Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 so gutted;5679388]Yes why get cold feet after the second date and not the first? It is annoying as I don't work that way but scientifically its natural for people to fell excitement etc on a first date that isn't there on the second. Like with anything the novelty wears off so dating is a test to see if 2 people are compatible past novelty. I just got a text from him Asking if im Ok. Is this out of polieteness or guilt? No third date arranged.
MidwestUSA Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 It is annoying as I don't work that way but scientifically its natural for people to fell excitement etc on a first date that isn't there on the second. Like with anything the novelty wears off so dating is a test to see if 2 people are compatible past novelty. I just got a text from him Asking if im Ok. Is this out of polieteness or guilt? No third date arranged. Have you considered asking him out? It sounds like he's hinting at it.
Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 I just got a text from him Asking if im Ok. Is this out of polieteness or guilt? No third date arranged. Have you considered asking him out? It sounds like he's hinting at it. Shouldnt he do that? The message said "hi darling, you ok " Non commital
MidwestUSA Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 Have you considered asking him out? It sounds like he's hinting at it. Shouldnt he do that? The message said "hi darling, you ok " Non commital If he wasn't still interested, he wouldn't text at all. You don't initiate texting or suggesting things to do? If you just wait for him, he'll drift away. Did you even reply to the text PRIOR to this one? The welcome back text? If not, I'm surprised he sent this.
Author so gutted Posted May 2, 2014 Author Posted May 2, 2014 Shouldnt he do that? The message said "hi darling, you ok " Non commital If he wasn't still interested, he wouldn't text at all. You don't initiate texting or suggesting things to do? If you just wait for him, he'll drift away. Did you even reply to the text PRIOR to this one? The welcome back text? If not, I'm surprised he sent this. Yes i did reply. His texts are less frequent. I think he pities me because of my age.
MidwestUSA Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 If he wasn't still interested, he wouldn't text at all. You don't initiate texting or suggesting things to do? If you just wait for him, he'll drift away. Did you even reply to the text PRIOR to this one? The welcome back text? If not, I'm surprised he sent this. Yes i did reply. His texts are less frequent. I think he pities me because of my age. Well if you believe that, might as well let this thing die a natural death. Work on your issues, good luck. 1
2sunny Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 It is annoying as I don't work that way but scientifically its natural for people to fell excitement etc on a first date that isn't there on the second. Like with anything the novelty wears off so dating is a test to see if 2 people are compatible past novelty. I just got a text from him Asking if im Ok. Is this out of polieteness or guilt? No third date arranged. That's a BS text. Why wouldn't his question be "want to go to dinner or a movie? When someone asks me if I'M OK - it's usually because they've treated me poorly and need to see if I'm ok with the poor treatment. Since he didn't ask you out - I guess no response seems right - or better yet be honest and say "I don't like that you've made no effort to see me since I returned!" Tell him how you feel about him ignoring you!
Author so gutted Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 I just got a text from him Asking if im Ok. Is this out of polieteness or guilt? No third date arranged. That's a BS text. Why wouldn't his question be "want to go to dinner or a movie? When someone asks me if I'M OK - it's usually because they've treated me poorly and need to see if I'm ok with the poor treatment. Since he didn't ask you out - I guess no response seems right - or better yet be honest and say "I don't like that you've made no effort to see me since I returned!" Tell him how you feel about him ignoring you! I replied an hour later and said i am very well thanks - how are you, i have not heard much from you lately?" No reply
Zahara Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Personally disagree with telling him that you don't like it that he hasn't made an effort to see you since you returned. If you have to make demands like that after two dates, it sounds pushy and it also sounds clingy. OP, if he's not making an effort to date you and he's luke warm in his communication with you, step away. He's either not that interested or he's just keeping you hanging as a backup. Otherwise, ask him out if you want a third date.
2sunny Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 That's a BS text. Why wouldn't his question be "want to go to dinner or a movie? When someone asks me if I'M OK - it's usually because they've treated me poorly and need to see if I'm ok with the poor treatment. Since he didn't ask you out - I guess no response seems right - or better yet be honest and say "I don't like that you've made no effort to see me since I returned!" Tell him how you feel about him ignoring you! I replied an hour later and said i am very well thanks - how are you, i have not heard much from you lately?" No reply Obviously you didn't tell him how you felt about his absence. Are you in a habit of pretending that all is well when guys ignore you? It looks like he's setting you up for a booty call - have you had sex yet?
Author so gutted Posted May 3, 2014 Author Posted May 3, 2014 I replied an hour later and said i am very well thanks - how are you, i have not heard much from you lately?" No reply Obviously you didn't tell him how you felt about his absence. Are you in a habit of pretending that all is well when guys ignore you? It looks like he's setting you up for a booty call - have you had sex yet? No sex, no sexual texts nothing ( partly why i liked him).
MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2014 Posted May 3, 2014 Well, I'll call this one. Checkmate! (Or is it stalemate?)
Author so gutted Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 Ok - so he replied and i made it known he does not spare anytime for me. He then arranged a third date - cinema. Was pleasant and he was on time and insisted in paying (third time, i asked but he paid). Had a chat beforehand. Prime opportunity to make a move and he didnt. Nothing from him the next day. Does he not fancy me or is he still assessing and did he turn upbecause i reminded him that he did not make time? More ... We passed his house so he took me for a tour. He had the keys and it was very grand. Why take me here? No move was made.
MidwestUSA Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Anyone have a comment? Well, it seems like it's all going well! Are you upset that he didn't make a move? It's only date three. People move at different rates. I would find that refreshing in this day and age, enjoy it. 1
clia Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Ok - so he replied and i made it known he does not spare anytime for me. He then arranged a third date - cinema. Was pleasant and he was on time and insisted in paying (third time, i asked but he paid). Had a chat beforehand. Prime opportunity to make a move and he didnt. Nothing from him the next day. Does he not fancy me or is he still assessing and did he turn upbecause i reminded him that he did not make time? More ... We passed his house so he took me for a tour. He had the keys and it was very grand. Why take me here? No move was made. You seem so needy. You barely know this guy, yet you are already complaining he doesn't have enough time for you. You are accepting last minute dates from him. (Why?) You are getting upset when he doesn't text you every day. Just go with the flow. It's totally normal to not be talking every day at this stage. It's impossible to know how he feels about you at this point. If he asks you out again, that means he likes you.
Author so gutted Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 You seem so needy. You barely know this guy, yet you are already complaining he doesn't have enough time for you. You are accepting last minute dates from him. (Why?) You are getting upset when he doesn't text you every day. Just go with the flow. It's totally normal to not be talking every day at this stage. It's impossible to know how he feels about you at this point. If he asks you out again, that means he likes you. I thought i was going with the flow by agreeing to the cinema. Why would he show me his house if he doesn't like me? He sent me a sms saying hi - then mentioned he was stressed. I got this in the morning and asked why. He didn't reply. I then texted him (1 day later) for a quick chat, to check if he was ok. Turns out it was drunken talk. He then mentioned he will be busy with a family wedding - is this to get rid of me? I will not initiate contact again...it didn't feel right.
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