Author so gutted Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 He is intimidated because i am not his usual type. He is shy around women. Has a lot of male mates. He lacks interest to move into a relationship... Annoying.
Zahara Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Was that sarcasm about him being scared? Yes. So the explanation is that he is bored and although he has a lot of mates he is bored enough to hang around me for 3 days ? There is a difference between having male companionship and female companionship. There are some things he can't get from his male friends. I think you should stay over at his house. Maybe that will remove his shyness, fear and intimidation and you'll be able to get over the hurdle as to whether he is interested or not. Maybe in closed quarters he will be able to open up and make a move on you.
Author so gutted Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 Yes then he wi disappear again..
Zahara Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Yes then he wi disappear again.. Well, if he is interested, he will progress, he won't dissappear.
Author so gutted Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 You were all right. He went away for the weekend, returned yesterday. I sent him a sms saying welcome back this morning. No reply. He went with his mates (one i met) i think it was discussed and he probably thought its too risky staying friends with me. He has never not repliedbefore. I brought this on myself, stupid stupid desperate me. Like i wanted the friendzone.
preraph Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 OP, I just read all your posts from start to finish. My question is why you would want to think about having a child with a man who is this much work to even get together with or communicate with. Now, I get he's a very busy man. He already has kids, works, etc. I don't believe it's good practice to text until you have something to say besides "Hi" or "miss me?" I think a lot of men see those type texts and wince because they're so premature and overly hopeful for the situation. The first red flag was when he wanted you to meet him at 11 at night and I commend you for not doing that at the last minute. Because that sounds like someone who wants a hookup and not a girlfriend. On the other hand, he's so busy, maybe it's the only time he feels he has to be social, but if so, needs to tell you that ahead of time. You say you are bored and want to have a child to make a relative happy. That, my dear, is NO reason to have a child. It would not make your relative happy if she knew you are already thinking of having a child after one date with strange men who already have children who aren't showing any real initiative in taking you out again. I suggest instead of thinking of your boredom or your relative's happiness, you consider the child. No child needs a hastily chosen father, and it's been proven that children of single mothers statistically have all sorts of deficits, including more likely to end up in prison. I don't know how old you are that you are in this panic, and don't really care. Your head is not on straight if you think these are the reasons to have a child. If you are bored, go out and get involved in new activities. That is the key to finding someone you are compatible with anyway. Your baby doesn't need the job of keeping you from being lonely and bored. Your baby would be better off with an active mother who enjoys some free time doing physical and other activities to feed her intellect and creativity and keep her body healthy. You have to be a role model for the child. How is shopping hastily for a man to father your child out of boredom and to make some old lady happy who had her OWN life to do that with being a good role model. Please consider these things and try to gain a new perspective. Life is to enjoy. It's not a race to mate and procreate. You have a right to enjoy the journey. Good luck.
Author so gutted Posted November 25, 2014 Author Posted November 25, 2014 Thank you. All your words are kind and correct. I have wasted a lot of energy on an unavailable man just because he did not try it on.
preraph Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 Well, we've all been there. That's why we all know it's a futile endeavor. Relax about the having kids. Try to enjoy dating. Your being tense about it because you're in a hurry is going to kill every relationship. You must relax and just enjoy the ride and see if you meet someone you love. Good luck.
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