PharaohABQ Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Cali-girl... You've made the first step. you need to be certain that this is the best path for yourself and your kids. Yes it sounds like your husband is abusing you. It's not your fault. That's an important point to remember. It's hard to say what it is that's caused him to behave this way. likely it's the pressure of having an autistic child. It's a rough theme on both your minds, though he chooses to treat your child badly. Some people are wired that way. I'm not sure it can be fixed. As for Legal help, you might also check with a local university legal classes dept. often they have help available from students at low or free cost. Also check with women's shelters. there are a LOT of options available. Yes it will be hard, but you're a strong woman, you've put up with it all for a while now. Finance will suck, but you're going to have to change your lifestyle. Even a $15 an hour job to start will get you going. Housing is not cheap at all, so you're likely going to have to have roommates. How about your friends? Can you stay with any of them when this all goes down? The court will likely give you custody, since they usually side with the wife, but likely you'll be stuck in Cali. Hopefully he'll pay his ordered support and go from there. Just remember you can't not let him see the kids if he has rights awarded. if you let him see them without support, then you set precident. so this is where you really need legal help. As soon as he gets wind of it, he'll also talk to his lawyer and you can guarantee he's going to start hiding assets, so you're going to need to make a REAL accounting of things ahead of time. Most of all, protect yourself and your kids. You really need to find somewhere you can go if things get bad. Friends places, shelters, wherever. You need to know your options, since he's holding so much over your head. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, and I hope you're not finding anything I'm saying condescending, but This is a time that you need to be strong and rely on yourself. You can do this. You don't need to put up with it.
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