in lust with another

[CarrieT]

I wanted to come out of this with a gameplan, instead of just recklessly taking it one day at a time.

 

I think this is a mistake. You will make a game plan but you will not be able to anticipate this new woman and her reactions or your wife's reactions to whatever your game plan might be.

 

Honestly, the best thing you can do is talk and be honest with your wife. Wholly open and brutally honest. Talk to her about her chatting with others. Talk to her about this woman you are crushing on. Talk to her about where BOTH of you see a future.

[James-London]

well, its interesting about how open you guys are. that's not me, but it sounds like you guys are being honest about that. i have even heard about some couples agreeing that they can sleep with other people providing they only do it once or always tell the other partner etc.

 

again - its not for me to judge any of these things. but the key thing all of these things have in common is: honesty, fairness and good communication.

 

however, from what i can see - when your wife cheated on you, she just did it behind your back. she didn't ask you first. and when you found out, she had the audacity to blame you. this is not in line with honest and fairness, even with your open style relationship. i'm sorry to say, but its just disgusting.

 

now, imagine you wife met a guy who made her as hot as this girl is making you. would your wife hesitate to cheat on you again? sounds like a big "no" to me!!

 

by the way, i liked that other poster's comments about sex rank etc. i think its a very naturalistic way to look at this, but he is probably right.... if i was you, i would go ahead and cheat on your wife. if she finds out, just say that she was not paying enough attention to you, exactly the same excuse that she used.

 

also, by being with another woman you will find out more about who you are and what you want and deserve from a partner.

 

James.

[rfnc]

This was definitely not the type of response I had anticipated when I posted this. But I think you're on to something. Thanks, James.

[CarrieT]

if i was you, i would go ahead and cheat on your wife. if she finds out, just say that she was not paying enough attention to you, exactly the same excuse that she used.

 

also, by being with another woman you will find out more about who you are and what you want and deserve from a partner.

 

Whoa, there buddy! Are you saying that what is "good for the goose is good for the gander?"

 

Two wrongs do not make a right and by justifying cheating in this way, the OP might as well just file for divorce from the get-go.

 

If he wants to find out more who he is and what he wants, he should leave his marriage. What he deserves from a partner? If he cheats, he will be no better than she who cheated on him.

 

OP, please don't be that guy.