My story... thoughts appreciated!

[Smarty Pants]

I've been on this site for awhile and it has been very helpful. Would love to get people's opinions about my break-up.

 

Met my ex during college. She was my roommate's girlfriend at the time. I knew him from middle school but wasn't really friends with him. They ended up breaking up and her and I, AS FRIENDS, hit it off. I knew I liked that girl but would never put myself in an uncomfortable position.

 

He and I did not live together after that. For the next two years, her and I were on and off. She would go back to her ex for awhile and then come back to me. I didn't mind. I was not looking for a commitment and just enjoyed hanging out.

 

Two years ago we began dating. We got along great and both loved each other. I graduated and she had one more year. I began going through a "quarter life crisis" stage where my life was changing very quickly. I wasn't 100% happy with my job and some family issues from my past had creeped up.

 

She began to notice depression settling in. She pushed me to go to counseling but I refused. Eventually it started to affect our relationship and we decided to take a break for a couple weeks. That lasted about 4 days and we continued to hang out occasionally for the next two months.

 

The first week in Feb I texted her and asked if she wanted to hang out that weekend. She told me that it wasn't a good idea for us to see each other anymore. This was obviously a huge shock. I knew that we had some issues to work out, but I assumed that since we were still seeing each other, we were working towards a reconciliation. My roommate from college is currently living with her. He was over at my place a week after she told me we shouldn't see each other, and revealed to me that she had started seeing another guy (age 35).

 

After two weeks of calling/texting/trying to work things out, it was clear that she did not want to see me anymore.

 

I have applied NC, but we are now in the same friend group. For my own protection, I have tried to avoid going to events/social gatherings to avoid seeing her. It is a little frustrating that she is now apart of my friend group since they were my friends before we started dating.

 

To add some detail, at the beginning she said it wasn't forever, she just couldn't see us getting back together for a few months. I hung on to that until I started visiting this site. Her saying that no longer means anything to me.

 

I know this is long, but would love to hear everyone's thoughts about how to handle this. There are plenty more details so feel free to ask any questions!

[Discover]

Were you ever lovers and what was your relationship like?

 

Sorry if I missed that part, it is really late so I might have missed the meaning of everything...sorry, but I would like to help!

[Smarty Pants]

Sorry, yes we were in love. Marriage, kids, all the topics that are covered in a LTR were there. And of course, we were each others best friends.

 

Seems to me like she is going through that "grass is greener" period, not that it matters.

[Discover]

Xm, maybe she is in that period..same happened to me I guess...

 

My advice from a point of view that really doesn't get what answer you are hoping for is..

 

Move forward, try to not think about it and really don't worry for such trivial things like friend groups...

Try to figure out what you want, do you want her back for real? It will be hard but if you realize this I guess you will be fine, of course it depends on what you figure out..

 

I, myself realized a lot of things during the same two weeks that you had to go through and as a person been there, sorry for the pain you had to feel during them..

 

If you need anything I will be happy to help, if I can be of any help at all!

[loversquarrel]

Sounds pretty sucky right now, but as for your friends group...They were your friends first? Then you should hang out with them and not worry about seeing/bumping in to her. You don't have to give up any part of your life for her.