acheybreakey Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 I had a short relationship (6 weeks) with a coworker that ran super hot and passionate and then he just fizzled and totally lost interest in me without saying a thing, just by becoming less and less available/responsive. We all live and work in the same place, so avoiding him is difficult. I'm pretty sure he left me to be with this other girl that was transferred into his dormitory about a week before things with him started to fizzle out. They spend literally every second of the day together and he swore to me that they are just friends, but I walked in on them in bed together by accident one day. He claimed they were just talking... well, I doubt that. They were fully clothed but she very much looked like she was deeply asleep. It's been really difficult for me because I was really falling for this guy hard and I really liked him. He seemed to just stop caring about me completely and never said a thing. It took me two whole weeks to realize that he just didn't want to spend time with me rather than that he was just stressed/busy/tired like he was telling me. I ended things with him in a way that I thought was calm and respectful. I said it clearly wasn't worth it for us to continue if he couldn't make any time for me, because I was getting stressed and worried about why he wasn't making any time for me. He told me a bunch of weird things... he said he was going through some changes, he didn'tw ant to be with anyone. He said he really liked me but he just wanted to be by himself for a while, that he was going through a phase of loneliness. He said he no longer has any interest in having sex, in touching other people, in drinking or in smoking cigarettes. He's so charming and charismatic whenever he talks, that it sounded really convincing. Of course, the day after this conversation I walked in on him in bed with his roommate so there goes touching, even if they were just lying in bed together talking and falling asleep. THen later that night he was drinking beer, and the next day wine... so there goes the whole no drinking. I never got pissed at him or did anything nasty to him, because I recognize that we have to live and work together. He's so charismatic that everyone here is really great friends with him, so I also knew it would be hard if I created a problem with him because he's so involved with everything/everyone here. But now he is incredibly mad at me, and i don't understand why. It's frustrating me so much I just want to cry. He left his email logged in on my computer, and I saw the last one he sent was talking about me to some girl I don't know. He said a lot of insults about me, called me an attention seeker, said that I thought everyone here should be giving all of their time and attention to me, saying that I acted like I knew everything. I don't know... I don't think that applies to me in any way. I spent hours being miserable trying to analyze my actions here to see how people could have interpreted me that way and it seems totally made up, but that's how he feels about me, I guess. At first I was devastated, but now I've stopped caring a bit about that. What really gets to me is just the way that he treats me. He sent me an email the other day saying that if I wanted to talk, we could talk, that he didn't want to be enemies. I responded that I would love that and when could we talk. He never responded but now his personal behavior is as if that email never happened. If I try to talk to him at all, like in a group conversation, he gives me a look like I am just disgusting to him. If I try to talk to him about work, he gives me a one word answer and then walks away. Today at breakfast, he and one other person were the only ones at the table. He gave me this look like ' don't you dare sit near me.' So I sat a seat down from them and as soon as I tried to say one word to either of them he just got up and walked away. I wanted to cry, I felt so bad. Then he sent me a text saying, "how should I be expected to talk to someone that says I am a piece of ****?" I responded with "I have no idea what you are talking about. I never in my life said that to you or about you." He responded with "yes, you said it to me on the day that you saw me sleeping with her." I told him that I never said that and he just stopped responding. I'm confused though because I really know that I did not insult him. I haven't even talked about him with other people here, just on LS and even in that post I never called him ****. I don't understand how I'm supposed to deal with this kind of behavior. I liked him so much that it hurts me a lot that I can't have conversations with him like I used to. It kills me every time I see him or hear him with this other girl. I was hoping we could be friends or at least have a good working relationship, but now I feel like that's not possible because now on top of all of those horrible things I'm feeling, I feel like he hates me and I have no idea what I did to deserve it or how I'm supposed to deal with it. Please help me... What do I do?
Author acheybreakey Posted April 20, 2014 Author Posted April 20, 2014 Sorry that it was so long but please I would really appreciate a response. It's really hard to feel hurt by someone and look at them with sadness only to receive anger in return. I don't know what to do or what to say to him
Survivor12 Posted April 20, 2014 Posted April 20, 2014 Don't say anything to him. He has asked you to leave him alone. As long as you continue to challenge him, the more reason you are giving him to stay angry. To be honest, his accusation about you needing attention sounds like a possibility. Why else would you keep approaching him & trying to get him to talk to you when you know he doesn't want to be around you? What's more, you post on Easter morning and when you don't get a response in two hours, you become impatient. Look, I'm sorry that he hurt you, but it's pretty obvious that after an initial hormone surge, your relationship just didnt take off. That's the way it goes sometimes. The fact that you have to share some space due to your job and where you live does make things awkward, but you can lessen that by keeping your distance at least until things have time to blow over.
Recommended Posts