alwayswondering Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 I need some blunt but educated opinions: I am 28, he is 28, me, never married, him divorced, no kids either one. been dating a month, he has a female roomate, said it was completely platonic until I fount out yesterday there is a history. Long story short: he is from another state, met her on computer, moved here to be with her, got engaged, very fast decision, lonliness, didn't work out, did not even sleep together (so he claims), now are best of friends, still live together, the engagement only lasted a couple of months but they have lived together for 2 years. I have not met her, I'm having trouble believing that it could always be totally platonic. I really like this guy though, treats me well, nice, want to believe him but don't want to be naive or "played". What to do? Break it off, or deal with it. Am I crazy? Please help fast!!
tattoomytoe Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 ditch him..... he lied right off the bat about his roommate.
Barby Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Question: Does she know about you? Has she ever answered when you call? Does she know your his girlfriend?
bluechocolate Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 You've been dating a month so really haven't spent a lot of time together. Most people haven't had the "are we exclusive?" conversation after only a month. I don't necessarily see this as a deal-breaker but you should tread very carefully. And you definitely must meet this woman. btw - I take you found out about her 'cause he told you? Why didn't he tell you sooner? Most importantly, do you believe him?
Author alwayswondering Posted February 3, 2005 Author Posted February 3, 2005 I have not met her or talked to her. We mainly talk on cell phones mostly because of schedules and all that. He told me everything but the engagement thing, I found out by accident. He said he was gonna tell me soon, yeah right, but that he was embarrassed and it was a huge mistake on his part for ever jumping into something like that. He said he wanted to wait til further along til our relationship was more stable to tell me becuase he was afraid I would freak and not give him the time of day. Hell, if he would have told me this in the very beginning, I would have not dated him, I have to admit but now that there are feelings invested, it is different. He treats me better than anyone I have ever dated and is more respectful and has been honest with me about everything else in his past, I guess at least. I hate men!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of getting screwed over, each man I meet has more baggage and is worse than the one before. I give up. This is the only thing wring with him though, but it is a big one.
bluechocolate Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 I am so tired of getting screwed over, each man I meet has more baggage and is worse than the one before. I don't know what has happened to you in the past so obviously cannot comment on that. The thing I don't quite understand about where you are with this guy is exactly why you feel he should have been so open with you about this so quickly. He said "that he was embarrassed and it was a huge mistake on his part for ever jumping into something like that.". I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be telling someone who I've only been dating a month, something from my past that I personally felt was a huge mistake. ...said it was completely platonic until I found out yesterday there is a history Is the real issue for you that you don't believe that they are indeed platonic? It seems to me that you may have invested too much in this guy too soon. This is the only thing wrong with him though, but it is a big one. What exactly is wrong with him? That he lied to you by omission? If you feel that strongly about it then congratulate yourself for finding out so quickly & move on. It's only been a month, you'll forget about it no time. On the other hand, if you really like the guy & believe, for the time being, that he is now being honest with you, then slow it down & keep in touch. See if it can go anywhere but don't be exclusive. Meet the "huge mistake" a few times. Meet a few of his friends & see how you feel about them. Forewarned is forearmed so if you find out any more shocking revelations (like they were still bonking 2 weeks ago!!) then piss off outta there. It may have just served to reinforce your view that all men carry baggage but at least you didn't get in the suitcase this time.
LynnStylesTN Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 How did this conversation come about ? After two years you decide to ask hiim about the girl in his house ? Did he in fact hide the fact that this girl was his ex? Did he out and out lie about it? Sounds like there is some real honesty going on or you are both so nieve there is Ocean front property in Arizona waiting with you names on it. Hey get to know her and you get to find out if they are hanging as more than frineds .. he is a guy and can lie with ease, she will cave in.. as far as him living there , hell I lost a guy to a someone 2000 miles away , so it is what is in his heart not in his pants
bluechocolate Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by LynnStylesTN How did this conversation come about ? After two years you decide to ask hiim about the girl in his house ? she's only known the guy a month....
LynnStylesTN Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by bluechocolate she's only known the guy a month.... Sorry I had a thread run on the brain
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