mmh Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Okay I have been in a relationship for 2 years in March... I want to leave him and I have been living with him for a year 1/2. On superbowl sunday he is going to be at a party... I was considering leaving while he was at the party and not telling him Iwas doing so. I don't want a confrontation and I dont want a huge fight. Everytime I have tried to leave (2 times in the past 2 months) and talk about it to him he convinces me to stay and I end up unhappy again.... Anyone have an opinion for me????
Merin Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Are you ending the relationship because it's abusive?
startingover1028 Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Are you married or just living together? Either way, I think it's unfair of you to blindside him by just walking out the door.... like the proverbial guy who goes out to get cigarettes.... Does he know you aren't happy? Are you convinced the relationship is over? Is he abusive? If you really want to end it, then why is he able to convince you to stay? (he must have some sort of mighty powerful hold on you!)
Author mmh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Posted February 3, 2005 Well he hasnt really been absuive but he has tendencies. I was cooking the other day and he pissed me off so I threw a little cold water on him and he threw a pound of frozen meat at me....
Pocky Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 You should tell him you're leaving. Have a friend or family member arrive at a specified time to assist you and provide moral support as you leave.
Author mmh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Posted February 3, 2005 Well it is that I love him, but I dont feel like I should be with him anymore, I dont feel "the thing" I guess and I only see him as a friend, and no we aren't married but he has been talking about engagement which I know I am not ready for (I have told him this). But he keeps pursuing the thought to me.
Merin Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by mmh Well he hasnt really been absuive but he has tendencies. I was cooking the other day and he pissed me off so I threw a little cold water on him and he threw a pound of frozen meat at me.... Okay.. Well IF you feel he would hurt you if he knew you were going to move out and you feel unsafe in telling him, then yeah, I think it would be a good idea for you to get out without telling him, however if you choose to do this then you should also know that you're going to need to have zero contact with him after this. IF you more feel that he will be pissed off but talk you into staying when you don't feel it's a healthy or good relationship for you to be in, then I think it would be unfair for you to just move out without him at least knowing you're leaving.. you need to tell him (when he isn't mad and you're not mad) that this relationship isn't working for you and you want to break up.. tell him that you plan to move your things out of the house on Superbowl Sunday that you feel it would be better for both of you if he weren't there when you move. Don't accept anything more.. IF you really want to end it, then do so..
Author mmh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Posted February 3, 2005 Thank you that is really what I need to do. I just have been confused over this and I don't want to hurt him. Thanks again
Pocky Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 You love him but you're just going to disappear in the middle of the day while he's at a football party?
beejsea2 Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 As a person who was on the receiving end of someone walking out while I was away at work I think it's a crappy idea. He left me a note that made no sense. That week we had a great time going out to a movie dinner..and bam he was gone and I'm left with all these unanswered questions. If you're afraid of a fight or violence...have a friend there with you when you tell him you're leaving. I was in my relationship for 4 1/2 years and I really feel that I deserved more than coming home to an empty house. Just my 2 cents!
tattoomytoe Posted February 3, 2005 Posted February 3, 2005 i think it shows a huge lack of consideration and maturity. i think if you stood up for what you believed, i.e. not getting talked out of going, you would feel much better about the break and you would have more self respect and he would have respect for you...well, moreso than up and leaving. and if all the loose ends are not tied, abondonment is a hard thing to crawl back from.
JoL Posted February 6, 2005 Posted February 6, 2005 He THREW a pound of frozen meat..AT HER HEAD. This guy sounds like a jerk. Move your stuff out and get the hell out of there.
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