Jump to content

Do you ever get to a stage of feeling nothing when seeing your ex?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I could not care less about my ex-husband and we were married for 4 years. I don't even remember his middle name.

  • Like 1
Posted

When you become indifferent torwads them.

Posted

I am still attracted to my exes. But I don't want to jump their bones or anything.

 

Erm okay I do....but only sometimes...

Posted

I haven't seen my ex since last June.

 

I wouldn't feel indifferent, I have too much empathy to stop caring about people I once loved.

  • Author
Posted

My ex is still single 2 years on...not anything to do with me but he is extremely difficult and nitpicky. I was his first serious gf at his age of 30 and the first and only one to meet his parents. He never committed to anyone before and he has this hugely unrealistic "dream girl" ideals and doesn't tolerate flaws. I am not surprised that he is single at all.

Posted

Leigh what are you trying to say? That its psychotic to be indifferent torwards someone who broke your heart? Eh its called having self respect, not lack of empathy.

  • Author
Posted

As I was packing today (I'm moving), I found my copy of the keys to his car. I forgot about that. I dunno if I should post them to him...I don't want him to think that I'm trying to make contact. I guess I should just throw them away...

Posted

I think you get to that point but get PAST it.

 

With my oldest ex (my first love), the break-up was quite emotional and messy. We were both young and immature (very early 20s) then and had no idea how to handle a break-up - so did all the wrong things.

Two years later, I was dating someone who treated me better, and with whom I was having a grand old time. When my ex and I met for a coffee (one of the first after the breakup I felt indifference - and maybe a tinge of scorn.) He clearly missed me and expressed platitudes but I felt nothing.

Six years on, we still meet up very occasionally. I have absolutely no desire to be with him but we are fond of each other.

 

So i think indifference is part of moving on, but not the end-point of it. Might be an unorthodox viewpoint though.

Posted

Its important not to confuse nostalgia for other feelings. A few years after even the most nasty break up, the pain will (should) fade and you will find you remember the good parts. You hear of a lot of childhood sweethearts coming back together many years on - does this work out? No idea but they forget all the pain and only have nice (if unrealistic) memories of their happy youthful times together.

 

I'm lucky, I have good self preservation, albeit I totally fall apart at first! BUT I have no regrets about any of my exes because if they dumped me, I don't want them back and if I dumped them, I know I would have tried my best to work out any issues with them first. I also have a lot of self pride. if a bloke is not sure he wants to be with me, or is seeing others, then that is not enough for me. I want a loyal man who only has eyes for me, and I don't want second best. Let them do this one, you set yourself up for ever to put up with it.

 

My ex of ten years surfaced recently and I honestly wished him well. He is now unemployed and living with a girl who I used to find at our house when i got home sometime (mmm) BUT I only thought ' I wished I'd known they liked each other then, she could have had him sooner!'

 

We exchanged cordial greetings and then moved on. yes, I thought back to the past, of course I did, but then I parked it up and moved on and was glad to be honestly happy for us both - THAT is when you know you have truely moved on....

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

I guess in my own situation, I know I did some ****ty things that weakened the relationship over time. I played so many power games. I can't help but think "what if I had the wisdom I have now back then?". But in life there is no undo button and I believe things work out like they should anyway.

  • Like 1
Posted
Leigh what are you trying to say? That its psychotic to be indifferent torwards someone who broke your heart? Eh its called having self respect, not lack of empathy.

 

 

 

 

Not at all..

 

 

I am saying that for me personally, I will never be indifferent to a man I was that close to.

 

I will always be sad if he died, or got injured, for instance.

Posted

Eventually EX's become someone you use to know.

 

About 2 months ago I ran into an EX. We had broken up almost 20 years earlier & it wasn't the 1st time I'd seen him since. He had a business proposition for me. The only thing I felt was "cool I can make $$"

Posted
I guess in my own situation, I know I did some ****ty things that weakened the relationship over time. I played so many power games. I can't help but think "what if I had the wisdom I have now back then?". But in life there is no undo button and I believe things work out like they should anyway.

 

I've definitely felt this before. I think most people have when a relationship ends. I don't think there is much to do but accept it and learn from it.

Posted

I think if I saw some of my exes now, I wouldn't even recognise them. I know I wouldn't feel any pain.

 

I think it comes from self esteem. You realise you have become stronger, fitter & better paid etc. there will be different things for each person that build up their own sense of self worth.

 

My latest ex would cause pain, but that's just because it's new and raw, like any other wound. Eventually this will scar over, but I think sometimes you do need someone else to love to fully forget them. But we'll see.

  • Like 1
Posted

I still miss my ex but as one poster on my thread so aptly pointed out I have definitely dodged a bullet. Even through my broken heart I knew that very early on. You have good days and bad days. I'm about 5 weeks post break up and very slowly the fog of my headache is starting to lift. I look forward to the day of total indifference. I miss him but not the situation. I hated the person I was becoming after our problems started. I'm coming back to ME now and I like myself a lot better again now. Hate is an awful self destructive emotion. The only person getting hurt was me and he did nothing to mitigate that. Actions of a man who loves you? Nope. But I did learn things that will I hope make my next relationship better.

×
×
  • Create New...