LouisAlexander Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 Maybe this is a whiny topic again im sorry for writing so much. Met a woman for 3 months long distance.. We started off introducing eachother from a random place and got along fine. I told her i really liked her, and about my life hobby's etc. I did not think much of it at first. We exchanged pictures and liked eachother even more it all felt great and such. I was her 'perfect man' and she could not wait to cuddle me and kiss me...and more... I supported her as much i could through stressfull times as much as i could.. I was her best friend she said...I felt so great about it that this woman fell in love with me.. A few weeks before our meet i asked her if she really wanted this cause we have different lives and it would actually be cool and good for a relationship and special. Cause i was really in love with her, beforehand i asked her please do not break my heart..But she assured she would de stress me nad it will be fine. But then...after a bad date..i got sick also...neither of us showed iniative and it was a disaster...yet i felt if we would re do it it would be great..I was in love so i thought it would a minor thing. She agreed, yet we didn't chat or talk much at all afterwards...No i love you's anymore nothing.. I kept on approaching her wondering what was up and she wanted to be left alone..I could not bare it but there was no conversation or interest from her side anymore. I asked her why do you do this to me..I needed to stop being so negative and butthurt...And she removed me from skype cause she kept telling me to leave her alone and stop being it all about me...considering how she felt... How is it possible, that i go from lover and best friend to basiclly a random online person honestly? I am baffled by this woman and i am heart broken left behind.. I feel desperate maybe i am...i think maybe any guy with sense would leave it and move but i can't..But i loved her...and still do...yet when i talk to her its sorry im tired i have to go to bed...and we dont approach eachother at all..im afraid to bother her actually... Does she just need time or am i just dumped the harsh way because of a date gone wrong...im sensitive so i feel terrible about it the past weeks...But it seems to her its just a oh well it didnt work out lets have a laugh and move on.. How can people be so cruel ? It feels like im played with and when she actually brought me over to see if its something for her and i wasn't cause i was sick all the feelings are just gone?
Trovador Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 When dating, be always assertive, nothing puts off more the other party that asking if things are cool, or as in you case, if it was fine that you two meet... Women, especially, hate men who need guidance or validation or assurance or seem to walk on eggshells because they fear (the men) to offend the other person... Oh, and when you asked her not to break your heart, guess what, you actually were asking for it... kind of fulfilled prophecy... And some times, cruelty (or any other behavior) is relative, what seems cruel to you, to the other person is just a neutral action, neither good or bad, and even if it was actually something cruel, maybe she thought it was necessary so you could move on... Look, nobody have to stay in a relationship if he/she doesn't wish to do so and you should understand and infer that she has powerful reasons to end it regardless you are in agreement or nor... Don't bother her anymore. Stop hoping for a come back and start to find yourself again. There are great things in your life, but if you continue to live in constant emotional pain, with all probability you will miss them...
Author LouisAlexander Posted April 19, 2014 Author Posted April 19, 2014 (edited) If that is the case, next time im gonna be way more carefull falling in love again in regards to getting dumped. I guess i have a different understanding of being called a best friend and been told how wonderfull i am then getting dumped the harsh way...Makes no sense to me. But i guess i have learned from this, especially a 40 year old single mom whilst i am 32, the age difference could have been a problem aswell. I expect a woman to guide me when she her child around, not for me to take iniative whilst there is a child in the midst but i guess i approached it wrong waiting for signs...Being a gentleman i thought i was...then again i got the opposit. And ruined it. Dont think this is natural to treat someone you're in love with but i guess i learn something new everyday. Edited April 19, 2014 by LouisAlexander
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