CadeYeager Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Long story short. She left me after 2 years without telling me about her problems. She wasn't even willing to give it a chance and left for someone else. I have my days of missing her. I don't know why knowing what crap she put me through. The thought of getting back together with her or an ex in general would be a very awkward situation in my opinion. Seriously NOTHING would be the same. In my case, my view on who she was in the 2 years of dating has been completely overridden by this BU. I really don't want to believe that, but I do. Did you ever get back with someone and feel the awkwardness?
Salvatore85 Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 It's incredibly awkward. You never get over them dumping you or at least I didn't. We were together a total of five years and broke up twice.
Author CadeYeager Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 It's incredibly awkward. You never get over them dumping you or at least I didn't. We were together a total of five years and broke up twice. Right!? How can someone go about their day with a partner that LEFT THEM.
elseaacych Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 It is awkward because you have two different perceptions of them: one, who you fell in love with, and presumably the same person you loved up until they broke up with you. Two: Your new perspective on the person, post break up. You realize they can do terrible things to your heart, and they get knocked off their pedestal of awesomeness. Your mind is having a tough time reconcilling these two perspectives.
Author CadeYeager Posted April 19, 2014 Author Posted April 19, 2014 Your mind is having a tough time reconcilling these two perspectives. So what type of light should I see her in? What she used to be or what she is now?
Elle1975 Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 I personally think that boundaries would have to be put in place. Rules, if I may say. For the ex, and for yourself. I did some thinking and I can partly blame the break up on my behavior. I know, most of you will say "don't change". It's not about changing who I am, it's more about respecting my own boundaries. He offered me to leave stuff at his place way too early, I didn't feel comfortable but I liked the guy so I thought "what the hell". We started spending every week end together without having an actual discussion about it; I sometimes wanted to be home instead of Friday through Sunday at his place. I knew sometimes I should have taken more time for myself, I didn't. Etc etc.. Basically, should have respected my own boundaries AND listened to my guts a little bit more. At the beginning of a relationship we allow ourselves to take a lot more than we would if we were a year down the road, or if the partner was just a good friend. Would it be awkward.. yes, if nothing had changed. If we were to jump in old habits. I think I would definitely be more guarded, if I even said yes to the offer. I'm not sure I would. It's all about trust for me. Oddly enough I know he misses me. Not because I miss him, but because I know he had feelings for me. Just not the same strong feelings I had for him. So I personally think, or even know, he will call. I hope by then I will have moved on, or I will be mature enough to take the right decision. For now, I am doing my best to move on.
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