LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Relatively new to dating again after 11 year marriage, met a guy from OLD and we have been seeing each other for about two months, met his entire family two weeks ago, had dinner together twice last week, then no contact from him, after about five days I reached out to him via text and he responded right away and said he's been busy with work and wanted to know how I was, etc. Haven't heard from him since, do I just blow this guy off or what?
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Have you been intimate yet? has that situation even arisen, or been discussed? Just wondering..... Same age bracket?
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 Yes, same age bracket, haven't been intimate but we talked about it, would have happened soon.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Ok...I know it sounds as if I'm delving, but how did that go? Who brought it up? What was the result? Who wants to wait, and who's more eager....? Can you see where i'm going with this?
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 The "talk" was mutual and we both seemed to be on the same page. He has gone off the radar before but that was in the first few weeks of knowing him, however, he started the communication back up again after a few days. He doesn't appear to be active on the OLD site. I can move forward just don't know how to react if contact is made again. Also don't know why he would introduce my to the family and his semi-grown boys.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 As he's the one who's 'fallen off the radar' let him be the one to climb back on again. In the meantime, if neither of you discussed exclusivity, then I'd not close off the dating door too soon, just yet. he does sound as if he's taking this very casually.... Do the same, and see what he does. Life does not begin with him, or end with him. Don't convince yourself he matters, if it's only been a short time....
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 No talk about being exclusive. I wouldn't have agreed to that if it did come up in conversation. I just don't know how to respond if and when contact is made again.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 And neither does anyone else. Play it by ear, see how it goes. It all depends when, exactly he re-contacts you. In a few days, go with the flow. Relax, and be casual.... In six months - ? "Where the hell did you disappear to - ?!" 1
Mrin Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Ya if he regains contact in a couple of days don't stress it. Then wait a few more days before you bring up the "stop going dark on me" convo
Gaeta Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Relatively new to dating again after 11 year marriage, met a guy from OLD and we have been seeing each other for about two months, met his entire family two weeks ago, had dinner together twice last week, then no contact from him, after about five days I reached out to him via text and he responded right away and said he's been busy with work and wanted to know how I was, etc. Haven't heard from him since, do I just blow this guy off or what? About you have a conversation with him? You know, like 2 adults. Talk about your wants and needs in a relationship and what you want out of this. If you don't like not being contacted for days then tell him. How is he suppose to know? You are new at dating, here's an advice: NEVER assume and speak up, ask questions. If that scares the guy away he was simply not that into you. He did not contact you for 5 days, why did you let 5 days go by without contacting him? After a couple of months there is no more who contacts who first.
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 Since we hadn't labeled the relationship I didn't know if I was overthinking anything. The time lapse was because he would normally be the one to reach out, he set that precidence from early on.
Phantom888 Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I don't know how and why OLD train men to be flaky and unaccountable. Yes, he is disappearing because he's not interested. That's how OLD men express that they are not interested. They give you BS excuses like "being busy". I mean, it takes me 10 seconds to text something nice to a lady....in TRAFFIC! So disappearing is his way of blowing you off, at the same time, keep you on a back burner in case he doesn't work out with the woman he is actually interested in. Really lame tactic, but extremely common. Sadly, I was doing that for a while when I first started OLD, then my guilt started catching up to me, and I became more honest about things. The right thing would be to tell the woman, "Sorry...You are super nice, but I don't think we are a good match."
Gaeta Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I find it unusual that you had not labeled the relationship but you met his entire family. How were you introduced? I would not want to meet the family of a man I am not officially his girlfriend, no?
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 Phantom, so don't contact him at all, right? Gaeta, met the family on the first occasion was about two weeks ago, we were out for the day and his daughter called indicating that her son wanted to see him, he asked if I minded if we stop by the property on the way back and I said it was up to him, so we did, I met the mom and dad, brother, daughter and her husband and their two children and two family friends, they were having a cook out and asked us to stay. I was introduced by my name, no title associated with it. Second occassion was last Thursday when he had me stop by his house for pizza with him and his two teenage sons and the brother was there.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I find it unusual that you had not labeled the relationship but you met his entire family. How were you introduced? I would not want to meet the family of a man I am not officially his girlfriend, no? It happens. It's not unheard of.... Particularly if the relationship is new and tentative. it gives a foretaste of how the family will feel about a new person....
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