izzyhinton Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Me and my boyfriend had been going out for a year, and it was literally perfect. Or so I thought. Then he had to move away due to work, which was tough. So we could only see each other now for about once a month. This LDR had a strain on us, and we constantly fought. Eventually, he left me. I begged and begged for him back, left him message after message, crying voicemails. Everything you could imagine, I was just so heartbroken and I didn't think at all. He told me to leave him alone, so I have. I don't know if it counts as NC as he told me to leave him alone... But oh well. I broke NC a week ago, and text him. He didn't take it well and told me to go. He said that " I would bring back too many memories" so I know he still feels for me. Straight after I went back to NC, I don't know if this will work. He thinks I'm needy, desperate and just a mess. He hasn't tried talking to me at all, I don't blame him to be honest. I was just a psycho, I'm scared I've frightened him off me forever!? Please, any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated!!
Ordinaryday Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Me and my boyfriend had been going out for a year, and it was literally perfect. Or so I thought. Then he had to move away due to work, which was tough. So we could only see each other now for about once a month. This LDR had a strain on us, and we constantly fought. Eventually, he left me. I begged and begged for him back, left him message after message, crying voicemails. Everything you could imagine, I was just so heartbroken and I didn't think at all. He told me to leave him alone, so I have. I don't know if it counts as NC as he told me to leave him alone... But oh well. I broke NC a week ago, and text him. He didn't take it well and told me to go. He said that " I would bring back too many memories" so I know he still feels for me. Straight after I went back to NC, I don't know if this will work. He thinks I'm needy, desperate and just a mess. He hasn't tried talking to me at all, I don't blame him to be honest. I was just a psycho, I'm scared I've frightened him off me forever!? Please, any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated!! NOTHING, absolutely do nothing. Contacting him to tell him "I wont contact you anymore" kind of defeats the purpose, it is like robbing someone to keep their money safe. leave him alone, do nothing. If he has half a brain he will realise that when people are emotional they often say and do things that dont reflect their true selves. leave him alone, NEVER initiate contact with him and if he contacts you to want to get back together (it most likely wont happen) then take it from there and if he just ignores you then you are in the same place as now. leave it alone.
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Me and my boyfriend had been going out for a year, and it was literally perfect. Or so I thought. Then he had to move away due to work, which was tough. So we could only see each other now for about once a month. This LDR had a strain on us, and we constantly fought. Eventually, he left me. I begged and begged for him back, left him message after message, crying voicemails. Everything you could imagine, I was just so heartbroken and I didn't think at all. He told me to leave him alone, so I have. I don't know if it counts as NC as he told me to leave him alone... But oh well. I broke NC a week ago, and text him. He didn't take it well and told me to go. He said that " I would bring back too many memories" so I know he still feels for me. Straight after I went back to NC, I don't know if this will work. He thinks I'm needy, desperate and just a mess. He hasn't tried talking to me at all, I don't blame him to be honest. I was just a psycho, I'm scared I've frightened him off me forever!? Please, any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated!! He may still have feelings for you, but clearly not enough to be able to keep trying. I hate to tell you, but you need to brace yourself for the fact that he will be dating other women now. What to do? Read the No Contact Guide in my signature. In fact, copy, paste into a word.doc and print off as many copies as you need to ensure you never have it out of your sight - even if it means papering your complete living space with it. Please take it on board, because it is the greatest and best survival Guide you will ever find. And make sure you delete you EX - that's right - your EX - off your phone, block him on Facebook and prevent all and every method means or way he may have to throw breadcrumbs at you. Breadcrumbs. Read the Guide. It's all there. Be strong, girl - time to move on.
nightbird101 Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I can relate to you. I'm currently in a break up that I feel is my fault. I had the best girl ever and after 6 years its over. I took her for granted which is a mistake I will not make again (and yes I want us to get together so badly and I'm working hard to fix it). Right now I can't really offer you much advice. I'm gonna say it and I know your gonna hate it (because I hate hear it myself atm). But your gonna have to start preparing yourself to accept whats happened. Give yourself some time, if your feeling sad let it out. Don't hold back. Your gonna feel like your completely alone. Let me just tell you your not. I cry more than once every day (break up happened 2 weeks ago). It sucks, it really does. If your crying don't hold back, let it out. Scream it out if you have to. But don't give up on yourself, all I can suggest is to try and run from your old self. Strive to become a better person. Yea I'm not good at suggesting things, sorry. It'll be a rough ride, so I wish you all the luck I can from Australia
TaraMaiden Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 (I'm 'gonna' suggest you start using proper English otherwise a lot of people are going to stomp on you for not using it..... ) Never try to gets someone back, if THEY have dumped YOU. It doesn't work. The hard work is for them to initiate, not you. They broke it - they need to fix it, and you can't make them want to. In fact, the more a dumpee 'pushes' (in whichever way they choose to) the more the 'dumper' resists. never try to use No Contact as a "trying to get him/her back" tool, because it won't. It's not its function. (Not suggesting that's what you're doing, but just as a 'caveat'.... many do try to use it for that.) 1
petall Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 You've started off the BU very messily but learn from it that begging and pleading however hard you tried has done nothing. Time for you to take a deep breath now and hold yourself up. It has to be total NC from here onwards if you want to come out of this pain. He knows how to reach you if ever he wants to contact you. You do not contact him again. It'll just be pouring salt on an open wound.
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