freetolove Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 My original post was about not having enough in common with my boyfriend. We've been dating for about 5 months and things are ok, we see each other about once every two weeks and we don't talk in between, mainly a good morning and goodnight text every other day. The relationship is no longer fulfilling to me. When I do contact him he tries to be attentive but he never plans anything. He was working during all the major holidays (Valentines Day, New Years Eve and my birthday is coming up and I have a feeling I'll be disappointed as well) I'm pretty busy myself so it's understandable but I also realize that that is not the type of relationship I want to be in. I've already had a conversation about this and he apologize and told me he wants to make it work. He bought me flowers the other day but my feelings are starting to fade, I use to be very interested in him sexually and now even that has died down. I now want to break up with him. Would be interested in getting a few different perspectives.
KatZee Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 You're not getting what you need out of this "relationship" so what's there to think about? You've been dating for 5 months and you see him once every two weeks. So technically in 5 months, you've seen this kid a mere 10 times. He's also missed every significant holiday and your birthday. What exactly are you getting out of this? A text buddy? Some mild attention every couple weeks? This really isn't a relationship at all. You already spoke to him about this, you waited, nothing changed. Time's up. Stop wasting your time. 4
Author freetolove Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 Thanks Kat, I just thought maybe some time would help but your right. It's not getting that much better (small improvements).
Author freetolove Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 A twist to the story, he ended up not forgetting my birthday and came up with a wonderful surprise....back to square 1 again...
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 Really? Back to square one? Look, if you're seeing someone once a fortnight and NOT SPEAKING IN BETWEEN, it's not a relationship. Plenty of couples only have time to meet on that basis, but keep it going with Skype, texts, calls etc. How come you can't see one another any more frequently? What are both of your schedules and locations? Honestly, I can't imagine being happy with seeing a partner once a fortnight and not speaking in between. It's just strange. Neither of you are clearly interested in getting to know one another any more deeply than a date once a fortnight and sex.
Author freetolove Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 We both have pretty hectic work schedules, I personally would like to connect more, when I contact him he's generally responsive and wants to find out how he can help. But he rarely contacts me so he doesn't "need" me.
Gaeta Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 What keeps you from seeing each other 2-3 times a week? and what keeps you from speaking daily?
Cpt Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 No he shouldn't "need" you. Wouldn't you feel better to know he is with you because he "wants" to, not because he "needs" to lol female logic boggles my mind sometimes. Anway to address the main issue here; I think your bf needs a bit of guidance, my guess is he's less experienced than you in the dating game, am I correct? Teach this guy how to be the leader you want him to be. Why do you think he keeps asking on how he can improve? He may know your needs but he doesn't know how to provide them. Teach him teach him teach him, don't be passive aggressive about this if you think this guy is worth it. The poor guy is probably trying to figure this out on his own, when you two can work together to build the relationship you want. Sad really that you're losing interest.
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