Babolat Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 I will get rocks thrown at me for this one, too. OP, look at your avatar. What are you showing us? Selling, us? If this is how you present in person, that you are prettier, funnier, more likeable, showing "your girls", than why are you working so hard at it. Just, be you. My ex gf was gorgeous, and charming, and fun, and social, and had a lot of male friends. I was drawn to that at first. I was okay with it all, not jealous, not insecure. Other stuff about her wore me down, so I broke up with her. Yeah, I left the perfect 10 "on paper". The seperation thing would still bug me too. I don't date seperated woman. Tried it, too much drama. 1
Author kaynichole Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 I appreciate all the input. My husband cheated on me and will not sign the papers as he wishes to reconcile and I do not so he has made it a contested divorce. After writing this post I found the guy I was dating has been on dating websites saying he is actively looking for a relationship. I confronted him about it and he tried to say his friend made it and he never used which we all know is a lie. He admitted to talking with someone new, told me the reason he opted out was because he wad ready to commit and he knows I am not in the place to do that. Turns out he has been talking to other women this entire time. I told him never to contact me again and he I hope he is happy. His reply was "happy/drunk... same thing." And then when he realized I deleted him off Facebook he tried to readd me. I don't know how to feel. Part of me thinks he has a point about me being married but then again he knew I was legally married from day one. If he isn't that into me, why is he trying so hard to stay in my life?
Babolat Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 If he isn't that into me, why is he trying so hard to stay in my life? You found this, discovered that, figured this out, wonder why that.... You will be doing yourself a big favor if you stop trying to figure out "why" he did, says, is, the way he is, and focus on, you. Get your divorce resolved asap, get yourself in a place where you will attract a higher quality man, for you. He may be a great guy, who knows. Just not a great guy for you. I went thru this for 12 months and then again for 3 months with my ex.I was the dumper both times, too. At some point you have to move on and learn from the experience. I suggest 100% NC; stop all the "chit chat" with this man. As long as your mind is focused on figuring him out, figuring out what you could have done different, you are distracting yourself from healthier things you could be doing. 1
Babolat Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 but then again he knew I was legally married from day one. No disrepect, but I think he knew you were hot, was drawn to your personality probably, wanted to bang you, you delivered a "I'm not ready to comitt" message, which is confirmed by you still being married, and he jumped all over it. Next time, keep the pants on, the blouse buttoned, define YOUR boundaries, and see what the man really wants.
KaliLove Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 You may be pretty and perky but it sounds to me like you're a flirt and that you love attention, especially from men (that's obvious enough from your avatar). Most guys aren't going to tolerate that for long enough to develop a serious relationship with you. 2
bubbaganoosh Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 I appreciate all the input. My husband cheated on me and will not sign the papers as he wishes to reconcile and I do not so he has made it a contested divorce. After writing this post I found the guy I was dating has been on dating websites saying he is actively looking for a relationship. I confronted him about it and he tried to say his friend made it and he never used which we all know is a lie. He admitted to talking with someone new, told me the reason he opted out was because he wad ready to commit and he knows I am not in the place to do that. Turns out he has been talking to other women this entire time. I told him never to contact me again and he I hope he is happy. His reply was "happy/drunk... same thing." And then when he realized I deleted him off Facebook he tried to readd me. I don't know how to feel. Part of me thinks he has a point about me being married but then again he knew I was legally married from day one. If he isn't that into me, why is he trying so hard to stay in my life? You know, if you don't mind my 2 cents but I think you should wait until your divorce is final before you go looking. If he's going to contest the divorce then battle lines are being drawn up and all that means is one hassle after another and trying to juggle that and start a new relationship means that who ever the next lucky guy is, your not going to be able to give the relationship the attention to keep it healthy. Not with a STBXH who doesn't want to let go. It's not fair to the new guy or you either. Just my opinion from someone whose been there and done that. 2
Author kaynichole Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 I don't know that any of you will see this now because this was years ago but I thought I would let you know, since this break up, he met two other women, was engaged to one and trying to cheat on her with me! This answers my question. The dude is a narcissistic, jerk. End of story! I am so glad that phase in my life is over. That being said, I was hurting back in the day and y'all were brutal. I am not at all full of myself and I don't think a man will "love" me just because I am pretty. He used that other girl for sex and tried to cheat on her with me too. He was only with her for a month. The guy is a user, simple as that. Case finally closed. One thing I would like to mention since I am just now seeing these posts for the first time since 2014 is I don't look for male "attention", but I'm not going to cut off a friend simply because he is a dude. I wasn't doing anything suspicious or crossing any lines. I was hanging out with a guy, while that guy was around. I don't seek validation either. Nice way to jump to conclusions and make assumptions. Have a nice day everyone.
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