LifeIsGreat Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 We were vacationing. The day before our return flight she got on the phone and used mileage rewards to upgrade herself to first class. She hangs up and looks at me and says "is that OK with you". I considered it quite a slap in the face, but since we were around other people I didn't 'go off'. Simply said I didn't really think so. She then tried to get back to coach with me but found out she would loose your mileage rewards. She accepted the loss and returned to coach with me. But, at the airport the next day she became very angry that she had lost her mileage rewards and became very obnoxious. I then became angry and we argued and didn't speak the whole flight home. On the way to baggage pick up I asked her if she really didn't understand why I would be upset and asked her if she thought anybody else would be OK with it. She didn't see anything wrong with what she did and wouldn't apologize. I asked some of my friends if they thought I over reacted and everybody thought what she did was inappropriate. I'm here on LS to get a more unbiased opinion. This was about 8 months into an exclusive relationship where we had talked about a long term future together.
CarrieT Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Yeah, I think it was pretty rude of her. If she didn't have enough Frequent Flyer miles to upgrade BOTH OF YOU, then it was rude to not have the courtesy to ask you first. It simply shows that she is selfish and acts in her own interest first. You were/are an after-thought and I don't think I would want a future with a person like this. 5
atlg8r Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 If it were my spouse, I would find it very disrespectful and selfish. Honestly, I don't think it would ever even occur to my fiance to upgrade himself because he would rather sit with me, even if it's coach and a little less comfortable. Also, the fact that you said you remained calm because you were around others says to me that you handled it well. I would be concerned with dating someone so self-centered. 3
Mascara Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Next time you're out for dinner, order yourself a steak, and her a bowl of chips. 4
PegNosePete Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 ^ Exactly! How rude and inconsiderate of her. Even worse that she can't even see what she did wrong. I think this would be a major red flag for me. It says she is a self-centred and selfish person who would rather sit away from you in luxury, than with you in slightly more cramped conditions. I wonder how she would have reacted if you had done this to her! Actually I don't wonder, I know exactly how she would have reacted. I very much suspect that she would have ended up sitting in the seat that you had upgraded for yourself...! 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Incredibly rude! Does she act inconsiderate in other ways? And the whole doing something and then immediately after going "Is that ok?" is such a douche move also. Lol is like an extra slap to the face. I would think that people in relationships would want to be around eachother regardless of the circumstances. Hell, even if it was a casual friend I wouldn't leave them in the dust for a couple hours just for a little more legroom.
ktya Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 She called, upgraded her seat to 1st class, then asked you if it was ok. Totally rude behavior. Although on the flipside to her defense, I'm not sure if you live together, but she may have had too much of a good thing in being with you 24/7 and could have been craving some personal space, hence the attempt to upgrade and then the subsequent meltdown in the airport. 1
PegNosePete Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 If I only had enough points to upgrade one seat, and if I wanted some "quality alone time" on the flight... I would upgrade HERS!
Zahara Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 At the very least she could have said to you, "Honey, I have mileage points that allows me to upgrade to first class, would you mind if I upgraded myself? Are you okay with that?" Personally, I wouldn't have done that because I would 1) want to sit with my partner and share whatever the experience 2) would feel yuck that he's stuck in a chicken coop. The fact that she just went ahead and did it is a sign that she is very self-absorbed and selfish. And the fact that she didn't see anything wrong is very alarming. Pay attention to who she is and ask yourself if this is what you want for yourself. 1
HappyLove Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Yea that was rude. Not a deal breaker but selfish. I agree maybe she just wanted some alone time but could have approached it differently. At least ask you first or heck even offer it to you. The way she handled it afterwards is also alarming.
clia Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 I honestly wouldn't care at all. I would encourage my partner to sit in first class if he had enough mileage points to upgrade himself. But then again, I don't understand why some people get so upset if they can't sit next to their travel partner on the plane.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 I don't understand why some people get so upset if they can't sit next to their travel partner on the plane. Oh I dunno.. Maybe because some couples oddly enjoy each other's company? 5
Author LifeIsGreat Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 We are NOT together anymore, but I had recently remembered it and wanted the feedback. Thanks!! Actually, I wouldn't say I handled it well since we DID argue the whole way down the jet way and while being seated. At first I handled it OK, but then when she flipped out about loosing her points I just couldn't contain myself anymore. I noticed that every comment said something about her being selfish. This is probably the primary reason we aren't together anymore. You wouldn't believe the stories I could tell you There were so many incidents. Even when I handled them well it quickly turned bad when she could not see my point of view (even when so obvious like my airplane story) and would never apologize. In fact, not only would she not apologize but she would get mad at me!! Hey, live and learn. 3
Author LifeIsGreat Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Don't forget, it's not that she couldn't it's that she wouldn't.
mammasita Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 We are NOT together anymore, but I had recently remembered it and wanted the feedback. Thanks!! Actually, I wouldn't say I handled it well since we DID argue the whole way down the jet way and while being seated. At first I handled it OK, but then when she flipped out about loosing her points I just couldn't contain myself anymore. I noticed that every comment said something about her being selfish. This is probably the primary reason we aren't together anymore. You wouldn't believe the stories I could tell you There were so many incidents. Even when I handled them well it quickly turned bad when she could not see my point of view (even when so obvious like my airplane story) and would never apologize. In fact, not only would she not apologize but she would get mad at me!! Hey, live and learn. Lemme guess, she was sooooooooooo hot though
Author LifeIsGreat Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Yeah, ya got me good In addition to that, we had so many common interests. And, I was ready to settle down and looking forward to a long term thing. I had no false illusions, but in the beginning it seemed she could be the "one". But, she was very newly divorced and it became obvious she wasn't over him. At about the 3 month mark it really looked like she was doing this kind of stuff on purpose (albeit subconsciously?) to push me away. Although we had so much in common and got along very well, we also were on different levels of "relationship styles". She was very selfish, didn't communicate, wouldn't compromise. I stayed way too long.
atlg8r Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 She was very selfish, didn't communicate, wouldn't compromise. I stayed way too long. Maybe this is also why she got divorced.
Madman81 Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 I think most of the guys on here would agree that if they did that to their wife or GF, they'd NEVER hear the end of it. And rightly so. It was classless and rude. What a beeyotch. Glad you're rid of her. 1
clia Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Oh I dunno.. Maybe because some couples oddly enjoy each other's company? Enjoying your partner's company has nothing to do with the ability to manage by yourself during a two hour (or however long flight) separation. I just think this is a silly thing to get into an argument about. Whether there were other issues with this girl is another issue entirely...
Author LifeIsGreat Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 We were supposed to go overseas for her birthday. However, I found out I needed to have surgery right around that time that would affect our plans. So, we couldn't go (but could have gone another time after recovery). She acted like she was mad at ME and said something like: well, maybe I'll just go myself. I then proceeded to tell her she was the most selfish & self centered woman I had ever known. You think I wanted the damn surgery to affect her birthday and our travels? I felt very bad about it. Then she moped and couldn't let go of the fact I called her selfish. Geez. Good times 1
Zahara Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 We were supposed to go overseas for her birthday. However, I found out I needed to have surgery right around that time that would affect our plans. So, we couldn't go (but could have gone another time after recovery). She acted like she was mad at ME and said something like: well, maybe I'll just go myself. I then proceeded to tell her she was the most selfish & self centered woman I had ever known. You think I wanted the damn surgery to affect her birthday and our travels? I felt very bad about it. Then she moped and couldn't let go of the fact I called her selfish. Geez. Good times Oh, it's good to hear that you have already left the relationship. She sounds like a nightmare.
Strength in Healing Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Enjoying your partner's company has nothing to do with the ability to manage by yourself during a two hour (or however long flight) separation. I just think this is a silly thing to get into an argument about. Whether there were other issues with this girl is another issue entirely... The issue isn't managing, the issue is wanting to spend time with the other person. You are missing something. 2
atlg8r Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Enjoying your partner's company has nothing to do with the ability to manage by yourself during a two hour (or however long flight) separation. I just think this is a silly thing to get into an argument about. Whether there were other issues with this girl is another issue entirely... The issue isn't managing, the issue is wanting to spend time with the other person. You are missing something. Agree with Strength in Healing, and also, it was just incredibly selfish to upgrade herself to first class without even considering her boyfriend for a second. Glad I'm not in a relationship with clia, either. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 21, 2014 Posted April 21, 2014 Enjoying your partner's company has nothing to do with the ability to manage by yourself during a two hour (or however long flight) separation. I just think this is a silly thing to get into an argument about. Whether there were other issues with this girl is another issue entirely... I'm gonna disagree with you completely on this. It's rude to, without telling them, upgrade yourself and leave your SO in a "lesser" class away from yourself. In a million years I wouldn't think of doing that to my gf. Hell, I wouldn't do that to any family member or even some of my guy friends. 2
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