george roy Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Hi all, Short version, going through a divorce. Filed, and served STBXW a few months ago. And now living separate. Still plenty of paperwork to be done, but the marriage is over. No turning back. And I've accepted that. So now I'm looking to expand (at a minimum) my social circles. In another thread, it was suggested that I check out Tinder. I've tried to get some questions answered via Google, but there doesn't seem to be anything related to exactly what sort of information Facebook and Tinder exchange. My status on FB is still listed as 'married' (right now I don't need my inbox full of "OMG, what happened ?" ). I'll change it once the divorce is final. And right now, the less that's on Facebook about any dating I might be doing, the better. I'm wondering... What exactly can potential mates see on my Facebook ? For that matter, what can my FB friends see about Tinder ? And how exactly does it work ? I'm hoping to hear 'first hand' experiences on the positives and pitfalls. Any input and suggestions are greatly appreciated...
organizedchaos Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Hi all, Short version, going through a divorce. Filed, and served STBXW a few months ago. And now living separate. Still plenty of paperwork to be done, but the marriage is over. No turning back. And I've accepted that. So now I'm looking to expand (at a minimum) my social circles. In another thread, it was suggested that I check out Tinder. I've tried to get some questions answered via Google, but there doesn't seem to be anything related to exactly what sort of information Facebook and Tinder exchange. My status on FB is still listed as 'married' (right now I don't need my inbox full of "OMG, what happened ?" ). I'll change it once the divorce is final. And right now, the less that's on Facebook about any dating I might be doing, the better. I'm wondering... What exactly can potential mates see on my Facebook ? For that matter, what can my FB friends see about Tinder ? And how exactly does it work ? I'm hoping to hear 'first hand' experiences on the positives and pitfalls. Any input and suggestions are greatly appreciated... To answer, in order: 1. Nothing. However, if you share mutual fb friends, tinder tells you both who they are. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to then go to that mutual friends page and look through their friends list to find that person you found on tinder. They can then go to your page and see whatever you've set to public or friends of friends. 2. Nothing. No activity is posted to fb. 3. You swipe left if it's a pass. Swipe right if you're interested. You can only start chatting with those who've also swiped right on your profile. Then strike up a conversation. But be funny or interesting. Don't carry on a long boring drawn out conversation. Establish rapport and quickly setup a date. That's it. For me, it's been like shooting fish in a barrel. But I live in a big city, am in good shape, have a good career, and can carry on an interesting conversation and quickly move it to text and a date. 1
PegNosePete Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Well actually it doesn't share nothing, it shares your photos, and your "about me" info. I found that a bit weird. I didn't want to put an "about me" on facebook that is written like a dating site intro (since I use facebook for chatting to friends etc not getting dates), but wanted Tinder to say something interesting. Quite difficult to satisfy both. I found it totally useless. Swiping right on hundreds led to a couple of messages but no real meets. I've been a lot more successful on more traditional dating sites.
organizedchaos Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Well actually it doesn't share nothing, it shares your photos, and your "about me" info. I found that a bit weird. I didn't want to put an "about me" on facebook that is written like a dating site intro (since I use facebook for chatting to friends etc not getting dates), but wanted Tinder to say something interesting. Quite difficult to satisfy both. I found it totally useless. Swiping right on hundreds led to a couple of messages but no real meets. I've been a lot more successful on more traditional dating sites. You select photos that you've already posted to Facebook to appear in Tinder, that's all. There's no link to those photos from Tinder to Facebook so you're not really "sharing" them. And the "About me" section can be deleted, rewritten, or left blank. 1
RonaldS Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Well actually it doesn't share nothing, it shares your photos, and your "about me" info. I found that a bit weird. I didn't want to put an "about me" on facebook that is written like a dating site intro (since I use facebook for chatting to friends etc not getting dates), but wanted Tinder to say something interesting. Quite difficult to satisfy both. No it doesn't.
SoonMyFriend Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Well actually it doesn't share nothing, it shares your photos, and your "about me" info. I found that a bit weird. I didn't want to put an "about me" on facebook that is written like a dating site intro (since I use facebook for chatting to friends etc not getting dates), but wanted Tinder to say something interesting. Quite difficult to satisfy both. I found it totally useless. Swiping right on hundreds led to a couple of messages but no real meets. I've been a lot more successful on more traditional dating sites. ?? I am confused about the "about me" since mine was blank when I signed up for Tinder, and then I edited it myself FOR Tinder only. The others have covered your other questions OP. Tinder isn't for everyone, but it can work. Sometimes it requires patience. I find some weeks, I get ZERO matches and all of my conversations die out. But, the flip side is I've been on it for about a month, have already had 2 dates (with one guy a potential for more), and still have a few other conversations going on. All with less effort, and less pressure, than traditional OLD. And both dates have been a lot of fun. 1
Mrin Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Need good pics and need to look like them if you want to close any "deals" (wink wink nudge nudge) or see them for a second date. My Question: Do I need to leave the app running for my profile to get "in the mix" for others in my geo region? I travel constantly.
organizedchaos Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Need good pics and need to look like them if you want to close any "deals" (wink wink nudge nudge) or see them for a second date. My Question: Do I need to leave the app running for my profile to get "in the mix" for others in my geo region? I travel constantly. No, but you need to at least open it once when in a new region to let Tinder know you are in a different area from when you last logged on. It isn't constantly tracking your location in the background.
Author george roy Posted April 17, 2014 Author Posted April 17, 2014 Hey, thanks for all the responses, everyone. I'm going to download this app and set up my profile and anything else I need to, after the kids go to bed. Tonight I have my children. This weekend they are with their mother...
pyramid Posted April 18, 2014 Posted April 18, 2014 As far as your fb relationship status, just hide it (set it to "only me"). Then when you eventually change it, it won't post on your wall.
Author george roy Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 WOW !!! I was impressed with how quick this app set itself up !! 'Right swiped' on plenty of potential matches/hook ups, now it's a waiting game. Another question... On a couple other dating sites, I've seen things like DTF, 420 (which is not my thing), etc... Are there any sort of 'codes' in a Tinder profile that indicate someone's intentions ?
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