dh101 Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 Hello all, I dont really know what to put as I am not really the sort of guy who talks about his emotions but I am going through a hard break up and looking for some advice. So I guess I will start with the story from my perspective. I am now 27 and she is 23 I met my ex three years ago, we instantly hit it off and starting seeing each other after a month of dating. For most of the relationship everything went well, although there was always an the underlying issue that she wanted to travel the world and I am in the process of starting my own business and would rather settle, work on the business and have a family. Anyway eventually she got the opportunity to travel with work, 5 months in Europe. I wasn't happy about the prospect but went along with it because she said it was compulsory (something I later learned was not true). She left for Europe several months ago, I got depressed and became too clingy. One night she stayed out all night, told me she slept in a friends living room, which later turned into she slept in a friends bedroom. It was a female friend so I don't know why she felt the need to lie. She then began to lie about other things, where she was, who she was with etc. I then found out that, without asking me she had invited a male friend from home to come and stay with her for a week in Europe, and that she had planned to continue traveling after her work trip. At this point I was fed up with the lies and left her. I wish I had left it there and started NC right away, but I didn't. For the last few weeks I have been texting her telling her how hurt I am etc etc, and I now feel totally emasculated. Since I left her she has not apologized for what shes done or shown any interest, I occasionally get the odd reply but its always uninterested. It hurts to think that even though I dumped her it was clearly what she wanted. I have now been in NC for a week, nothing is getting easier. I just want some advice about how to recover and regain the male pride that I lost. Thank you.
sooshi Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 I'm sorry for the broken trust that you've had to face. Keep going with the NC. You made the right choice to leave, because you can't be with someone you don't trust. Also, work on developing your self-confidence/self-esteem. Clinginess isn't an attractive quality. I'm sure that you want an honest relationship, so leaving behind the lies is really what you wanted as well. I know it hurts because she hasn't shown interest, but it seems like she had lost interest in cultivating the relationship a while before you ended it. It seemed progressive. She isn't good or right for you. The breakup seems fairly recent, so your emotions are still raw. I think you're doing just fine! It does hurt to have your trust broken by someone you've loved. If you feel very inclined to contact her to tell her how much you're hurt, you can write it (but not send it to her), or post on here. This community is a great support, as you will see if you hang around.
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