lovelogic Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I assume that most people reading these threads are going through a difficult breakup and are looking for advice/guidance or maybe some inspiring stories. For the past two months, I have read through some posts on here and watched countless youtube videos about getting over a breakup and winning back an ex. My story goes like this. I first met my ex through my roommate when I was in college. It was his high school girlfriend. He treated her horribly and broke up with her many times over so he could hook up with other girls. Her and I would start to hang out, and he would go running back to him. It was a very weird situation, and was completely my fault. I was an idiot for getting involved with my roommates ex. We only lived together for 1 year. The next two years, my ex and I were on and off. We would get close and each time she would start to pull away. Being in a bad relationship, she guarded herself from other guys. Each time she would back away, I would leave her be, which I have learned is the right thing to do. If its meant to be, they will come back. We eventually began dating when she realized that I was the person she wanted to be with for a long time. We dated for two years and were very happy together. Eventually, I graduated from college and began working in the same town. Obviously, life was different. We didn't spend nearly the same amount of time together like we used to. I became complacent and depressed (mostly from my work situation and a health scare that I went through). She tried to push me to go to counseling but I refused. We decided to take a brake from each other for a couple weeks. Our "break" lasted about a week before we began hanging out again. Although we were technically broken up, we acted like we were together. This lasted for two months. One day she told me that it wasn't a good idea for us to see each other anymore. I was shocked. Our relationship was getting better and I thought we were working towards reconciliation. She did not feel the same. She lives with my best friend from college (who I lived with for 3 years) and he told me one day that she had started seeing another guy. For the next week, I begged, pleaded and did everything I could to win her back. THIS NEVER WORKS. I wish that I had found this website before I took action. I decided to finally let her be and give her some space. She said that we could not be together "right now". Since we are in the same friend circle, I have had to see her on multiple occasions. Whenever we are around each other, things seem normal. But then I realize that she is seeing someone else and it become too difficult to be around her. It has been 3 weeks since I have talked to her. For a long time, I thought about her everyday and always thought one day she would come to her senses and come back. This is not a healthy way to deal with a breakup and only inhibits you from being happy. Everyone will give you the same advice: find a hobby, go to the gym, etc. Whether you want your ex back or not, the best thing to do is to go NC and assume you will never get back together. Hoping for something to happen is only holding you back from being truly happy. Unfortunately, time is the only thing that really helps. There are reasons for all breakups. We have to accept that. The old relationship is dead and will not come back. That isn't to say there will never be another chance, but the new relationship will be completely different, which is a good thing! This is my first post so I have started to ramble. Breakups are difficult for everyone involved, but eventually you will get to that point where you can move on with your life without your ex. If I can do it, all of you can too. Just realize that you are awesome and there is someone out there that will love you unconditionally, because you deserve it. And for those hoping for a second chance, know that you must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.
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